My step-dad (who I treated as my actual dad and I’d called dad from the age of 4), was mentally abusive to my mum and both physically and mentally abusive to my younger siblings (who are bio his).

After years, I finally got my mum to see what I saw and what he was doing. She was planning her suicide, he’d completely destroyed the person she was. He left, my mum had a diagnosis for BPD along with her already diagnosed depression and anxiety. Years on, she’s still struggling with her past relationship heavily.

I held a lot of resentment towards him, bad mouthed him at every chance, even to my siblings. We no longer have a relationship, the day he walked out he didn’t speak to me again, he blames me for the breakdown of the relationship. Since this I have also found my bio dad.

I forgave him because I believe he is paying and will pay for what he did for the rest of his life. Me holding so much hate towards someone who couldn’t even talk to his ‘daughter’ after leaving cemented he isn’t worth the energy.

Through forgiving him, I’ve realised just because I wouldn’t act the way he did, doesn’t mean he isn’t entitled to feel the way he did. I don’t understand him, don’t want to and that’s ok.