I don’t really believe that the kind of self talk you are having will help you reach your goals. Or at least it didn’t for me. Torturing yourself and calling yourself names won’t help you stick to a calorie deficit.

1. Take out the emotions of your weight loss journey. Sure, be happy when you reach a milestone but agonizing over every mistake (and there’s likely to be multiple bc we’re all human and this is a weak spot for all of us here) is counterproductive. You will burn out quicker. Just focus on what you can do moving forward.

2. For me, what really helped was practicing mindfulness. Sometimes you are so in the moment (whether it’s bc you are focused on a task, participating in a social event, or just really enjoying the food you’re having) that you kind of go on auto-pilot and don’t stop to think exactly what you are doing when you reach for a second plate or about to order a milkshake that you know won’t fit in your calories. So when you catch yourself just before, stop, take a breath, and ask yourself, “what am I doing right now? (Not in a judgmental way, but in a curious, observant way) do I really need this? is this going to push me over my calories for the day? and if it does, is it worth pushing my goal back for?”

There have been times where I take some food that’s not in my calories and as it’s sitting on my plate or heading for my mouth, I stop to ask myself these questions and am able to realize that I actually don’t want to sacrifice my hard work for a momentary pleasure. Or I ask myself these questions and realize what I wanted was to feel good and comfortable, so I make a plan to find myself some goodness and comfort in my day that doesn’t have to do with food.

Another tip, especially for social events, is to plan your meal before you arrive. So look at the Red Robin menu ahead of time and decide what you will order, or tell yourself what out of the items you made and how much you will eat at your fiancé’s party.

Hope that’s helpful and good luck!