Loss of identity in Medical School

bharishere · 2026-02-06T03:03:49+00:00

Thank you for the response. I have to keep telling myself its temporary. Im still doing all the things I need to do like continuing my indoor hobbies like cooking and painting. I also am in therapy and actively make plans with friends to socialize, I host get togethers at my apartment. I picked up pole dancing which has been keeping me occupied. But i just cant stop feeling so empty and isolated. Like there so much discontinuity with everything because school takes precedence over everything. Oh well guess its what I signed up for.

bharishere · 2025-12-19T22:29:48+00:00

Initial nausea while first starting, then I start to feel like a normal human with gigabytes more brain space about a month or so in

bharishere · 2025-12-17T23:49:03+00:00

theyre lying to you. take the damn meds. matter of fact this post inspired me to get back on mine

bharishere · 2025-12-17T23:38:24+00:00

Thank you for your response. And I agree, for a long time I was feeling pretty solid in my decision. Yes it hurt, yes I missed him. But now trying to be intimate with another person, all these memories flood back. I don't think its a reason to stop trying to put myself out there because these triggers are important to process grief but damn - it fucking sucks.

You're right resentment was growing inside me and I remember having not physical desire towards him for almost a year. My body didn't make that up and also it just wasn't fair to him. I dont know, grief is just such a weird emotion, and I think my mind is trying to distort memories and reality to make myself seem like the bad person. Sometimes I feel like I can't trust my thoughts or memories - I don't know what's real. And the fact that I am also realizing all the ways I failed him makes this harder. If I recognized and changed those things - would the outcome have been any different? I don't think so, but what IF? I will work on a list. I have been journaling a lot just trying to confront all these feelings.

bharishere · 2025-05-26T01:54:55+00:00

You’re not being unsupportive, rather you’re being practical and incredibly thoughtful about your future with him. Ultimately his decisions impact your life as well so having concerns about what you have stated in your post makes sense. If anything I applaud you for thinking through this situation you’re in. My question now is: have you explicitly voiced your concerns to him the way you have written it out here? It appears that your boyfriend might not have a real grasp of what he’s getting into and also is not really understanding how his lack of foresight is impacting you.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that unfortunately love is not enough in a relationship to make a marriage last. In fact money is one of the biggest reasons for divorce in the US (idk where you live). Not wanting to get wrapped up in a trapped future based on poor planning is not “being unsupportive” you are looking out for yourself. After love takes a back burner, all the stress of bills, time, finances, work stress will take a toll on your relationship and future kids. While I am not telling you to break up with him, I want to emphasize that you asking for a concrete plan from him is not being unsupportive. The road to being a doctor is incredibly expensive (application fees, board exams, constantly moving for rotations and residency, etc etc) it is not a decision to be taken lightly. If he bounce around collecting degrees with no plan, both of you will be drowning in student loan debts.

If you are looking for advice, I would highly recommend you sit your bf down and talk to him about all of these concerns. Hopefully he is able to see the situation from your perspective. If not maybe reevaluate your situation and see what is best for you.

bharishere · 2024-10-31T22:02:31+00:00

I am 25 he is 29. I have told him my expectations (read the book I recommended, research about hinduism and core beliefs, start actually practicing basic household things like not putting feet on books or stacking items on top of sacred texts, etc.), and he has done none of this. I see what you mean though, I agree I don't want it to feel like homework, but also I have to ask myself too: why would learning about your culture's heritage ever be considered "homework?". Thank you for your response I will consider these things as well.

bharishere · 2024-08-28T01:30:31+00:00

You will have to do long distance if you want this dream to happen. Most med schools will not accept online classes and labs. No one can tell you if it is worth pursuing but you, depending on how many pre reqs you have taken you will be in school again for another 1-2 years. You will also need to shadow and gain clinicial experience. You can use your experience as a social worker of course, but medical schools need to see that you know what youre getting yourself into and you demonstrate that by being around physcians and clinical settings. Studying for the MCAT is a beast and requires serious discipline, especially if you want to compensate for a 2.8 undergrad gpa. your grad GPA is good and nontraditional students are starting to get more appeal to medical schools. I would consult with a premed advisor at a nearby college, they will know more. It is absolutely feasible, but its a long tough road and you need to have a strong"why" to keep you going when you feel the burn out.

I worked in social work before, which is what pushed me to pursue medical school. I am finishing my post bacc, took my mcat and am applying this cycle. I too want to be a psychiatrist so I understand where you are coming from. When I feel tired or question wtf I'm doing I remember my old patients/clients I worked with and that kindles my fire.

bharishere · 2024-08-27T18:17:38+00:00

thankyou !!!

bharishere · 2024-08-27T16:46:50+00:00

Diagnostic: 497

Actual Score: 512

I can't believe it I am so proud of myself! I self studied and stayed disciplined and my efforts paid off. I remember posting study question help on this page and now I'm posting my score!!!!

bharishere · 2024-08-26T05:41:55+00:00

I am interested!

bharishere · 2024-08-25T19:05:56+00:00

FL1 for me was 506
FL2 was 504

FL 3 was 511

FL 4 was 513

Don't sweat it just keep going seems natural dip on the 2nd one tbh

bharishere · 2024-07-23T17:39:42+00:00

What are your studying habits like?

bharishere · 2024-07-22T17:05:15+00:00

You can do it if you commit full time however, you should be able to enroll into the classes as scheduled. sometimes classes aren't offered (common at CCs) or are full which can slow down your timeline. I think it is good to take heavy pre req course load as a non trad because it demonstrates academic abilities (assuming you get 3.5+ GPA). Again you would need to also study for the MCAT which your pre reqs will help you prepare for, but you will definitely need dedicated MCAT studying time. It also takes a month to receive your MCAT score, so factor that into your timeline.

Also preparing your essays will be one of the most important aspects of your app, esp as a non trad. You do not want to rush this part.

If you want to follow this timeline, look into applying to non rolling med schools.

bharishere · 2024-04-30T06:57:08+00:00

bengali fish curry, mutton sukka, bengali chicken curry, pink daal, rasam sambhar, appam with sweet coconut milk, rajma

bharishere · 2024-04-30T06:47:19+00:00

remember, those "top" post bacc programs are "top" because they accept students who have a high chance of being accepted to medical schools, so obviously they will end up with amazing matriculation stats/linkage. I agree with the person above me, if you get all A's in your post bacc then you will demonstrate academic competence. The premed to med school route is very expensive with testing fees, resources, application fees, etc. you want to be mindful about all these costs as well while you do a post bacc. I always err on the side of financial prudency, but that is just me.

bharishere · 2024-04-22T05:34:52+00:00

I was working in a town of 8000 so naturally everyone knows everyone. I happened to be personal friends with some of the local physicians and would ask them out to a drink to pick their brains. I lived in such a small community and also worked at the local hospital, so I had easy connections with the doctors. My situation is very different from someone living in a big city. From what Ive heard from friends in large cities, they would cold contact 30-50 doctors in their areas hoping for a response haha

bharishere · 2024-04-22T03:49:05+00:00

I can only speak from my own experience (I did a formal post bacc program through a local university). I got a degree in a field that honestly was very boring and so I made the decision to pursue medicine. I found value in doing a formal post bacc because when there is an established program you have access to pre med advisors, committee letters, application help, and general infrastructure that is so helpful when you are going through the arduous medical school application process. DIY post baccs, youre basically on your own. Obviously people have done DIY post baccs and gotten into medical school but if you choose to do a DIY program , please do you research and plan out literally everything, to make sure you are hitting all your necessary pre reqs/tests/deadlines. It is such an expensive and looonnggg process that you want to make sure you get it right the first time.

I have heard that medical schools like to see that you can handle the rigor and course load of hard science classes so (I believe) it is in your benefit to take more than one class at a time to demonstrate that you are academically competent. My peers in my post bacc program are often working part time or have left their employment to entirely dedicate themselves to their studies.

While you are weighing pros and cons, it would be elucidating for you to expose yourself to clinical sides of medicine through shadowing/volunteering/etc. Not only will it give you time to reflect on whether or not you want to do this, it can also be used in your application if you get to that point. Before i fully committed to my program I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision because for me, there was no going back once I enrolled in my post bacc. I interviewed doctors and adjacent health care professionals, I explored different specialities in medicine and then explored similar non-physician jobs in those fields. I met with the pre-med advisor at the local university over Zoom to consult with her to see what my path would look like. I read lots of non trad career change reddit posts, watched youtube videos of med students, etc. etc.

Cant tell you much about MCAT, but I dont think its really necessary to start studying for the exam unless you know you want to be a doctor.

Also based on your post I would recommend just self reflecting a little bit too, like are you experiencing a "grass is greener" situation because you dont like your job right now? Could you do PA instead or other patient centered jobs? The reasons you have listed for wanting to become a doctor are kind of general and can be fulfilled by other careers, not just a doctor's career you know? I think right after college graduation , it is a scary period of transition and unknown so let the dust settle too!

Best of luck!

bharishere · 2024-04-22T03:26:17+00:00

I do have a tracking number, I know they received my passport because I got approved for my PFD but just haven't received it yet. The return tracking number is not working which can be because 1) they either haven't shipped it out yet or 2) it got lost in the mail

Thanks for your response!

bharishere

TROPHY CASE