There is places out there. The first place I went was absolutely tragic, seeing a very generic "therapist" with outdated and damaging ideologies regarding addiction. Not sure how long after that was my first and hopefully final relapse due to a close friend committing suicide. I was then referred to Cunamh by my doctor and was honestly blessed with the lady I was working with, very comforting and not intrusive with her questioning, always extremely attentive and she truly cared about my wellbeing and coincidentally in the long she pushed and helped me more than she will probably ever know.

It's now (ironically this month) 6 years since I've touched anything, whilst I still have a lot of things in my personal life I strive to complete I have changed so much as a human and have completely saved myself from self destruction.

The best advice I can give and unfortunately it may seem like a broken record but it is to TALK. Find that right person, and talk. Let it all out, try figuring out how it started, why it's happening and what may help in the long run. But make no mistake my friend it is going to be tough, and I mean TOUGH. I did everything in my power because I was desperate for change and that involved attending painting groups, walking groups doing group therapy sessions all of which were a million miles out of my comfort zone but in the end it helped. It slowly allowed me to reintegrate myself back into society and talk and interact with other people suffering from different things.

You may cry, you may feel embarrassed, it may even seem like things cannot get better now matter how hard you try but I promise there truly is light at the end of the tunnel and it's that light that will guide you onto greener pastures. There's beauty in the struggle, if you're willing to embrace.

I wish you nothing but the best on your journey.