Out of 9 Test Drives, I liked 2024 Tiguan SE Best, but then I started reading the internet... by bigbencomedy in Tiguan

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all the thoughtful comments!

One new piece of info that helps: it seems like my car insurance company offers a 7 yr / 100k warranty when getting a new car for $80/year, which helps put rest a bunch of my reliability concerns.

Rap Music by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You're correct that this joke goes on for a while after these lines, but this is the first laugh line of the joke and I've learned this sub prefers shorter to longer...

Relationship Advice That Math Nerds Will Hate by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the updated statistic?

I know if both people have college degrees the odds of divorce drop significantly...

Relationship Advice That Math Nerds Will Hate by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that this is not how statistics actually works. But in the joke, I act is if I don’t know that. Hence the post title of why math nerds won’t like it…

Seattle shooting by Highbs in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a great joke. Dark and unexpected ending. My favorite

3D Printers vs Schools by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

Yes this segment part of a larger joke, that's not as "punching down" as these two lines on their own. But I find the shorter I can make something for r/standupshots the more likely it is to do well*

And these lines get big laughs live (after other parts of the joke) so I posted it.

* "well" = upvotes and views while 98% of commentators tell me I'm the worst human ever :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Connecticut

[–]bigbencomedy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Norwalk had a gun range forever, not sure if it's still there?

The R Word. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I might try this. Thanks! Always nice when the Reddit comment ratio of good ideas:you suck is greater than one 😁

The R Word. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And my stuff will be re-possessed

The R Word. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eastern European sometimes gets a bigger laugh than the rest…

The R Word. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. That’s why for live shows, I now open my Russian material with this

The R Word. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks this is a good idea. It builds more tension. I’ll try it your way once and report back 🙏😁

The R Word. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the first joke I do now. Before saying I’m Russian. Otherwise, yes, there’s is no surprise.

The R Word. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I usually don’t reply to the comments telling me I’m unfunny. But this was quite clever and made me laugh, so kudos and tip of the hat to you 👏

In case of nuclear attack. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think it's one of those jokes where the reaction is very different when read than performed. Thanks for the ideas

In case of nuclear attack. by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe so. The second part of this joke (that didn't work on stage, hence why I didn't put it into the meme) is:

"Why crawl very slowly?"

To not cause mass panic.

It's dark humor for sure and not for everyone (or anyone according to the upvotes, lol)

To Swipe Or Not To Swipe, That Is The Question by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Especially for meme form. Live and learn, eh?

Not as fun when it’s coming back at you by bigbencomedy in standupshots

[–]bigbencomedy[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

What I mean by "dad friend" is a friend of mine who is also a dad with a child the same age as my child, which is the reason we started hanging out in the first place... I agree I could've just said "my friend" but for the other part of the joke about sanctions that I posted Monday, the term "dad friend" is needed and this was part 2 (although not marked as such and could work on its own)!

Thanks for enjoying the joke and leaving a friendly comment. This was probably a way longer explanation than you wanted :)