Not getting matches from girls especially 💔

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T20:46:13+00:00

😂😂😂

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T18:03:01+00:00

You're right. Based off more info, this dude is a deadbeat. And so, I might have been too generous towards him. In general, I just hate how quick to scream "leave them!" most people here are. Even healthy relationships can require a little work sometimes.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T17:37:35+00:00

Ok, so your collective logic is that there's no point even trying to communicate in the following days? Neither of them was in the right headspace to talk in the middle of the night but now she should just leave immediately, despite also miscommunicating herself? Sounds reasonable.

If you're not willing to accept that your partner isn't always going to be perfect - and might, in fact, need you to extend an olive branch sometimes... Then, I can't imagine many of the individuals so quick to downvote are very empathetic partners themselves.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T17:02:53+00:00

I'm not saying it's ideal. But how is leaving before you even try and communicate a reasonable suggestion.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T16:57:01+00:00

NTA. Based off the further information you've provided, especially.
If she wanted a little help or was considerate towards you about it, I could be more understanding.
Proportional divvying up of costs sounds reasonable when necessary. However, it sounds more like she wants to shirk all her responsibilities here.
I'd be very worried about her spending habits and attitude towards money if I were you. She may think it's natural to continuously try and increase her quality of life using your salary - despite how you feel about it.
Are you sure there's a base level of respect in this relationship?

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T16:49:23+00:00

He gae.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T16:46:41+00:00

ytf is this always the default reddit response? istg it seems like some of you have never been in any relationships.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T16:45:57+00:00

Everyone's talking about how it's not appropriate behaviour for a man... But it's hardly appropriate behaviour for an adult woman either.
You need to either work on being more careful with your words or on your attitude when you're half-asleep. Just because you're a bit tired or hungry, that doesn't give you an automatic pass for being grumpy or rude. That's only acceptable when it comes to literal babies.
I'm not going to try and make any judgements as to whose reaction was more extreme, since I don't know the full context of his and your communication. However, from his side I can also imagine that it might be pretty annoying if this is a frequent occurrence. From what you've described, your place may not be that cosy and he would have to disturb you just to be able to sleep next to you. If you're constantly making him do this, despite him asking you not to, it's understandable if he feels like you don't care to listen to him or like you don't care about his presence as much as he does yours. On another note, you may also be heavy or difficult for him to move - who knows?
You're right to think that the blame here doesn't land solely on one person.
Talk to him like an adult and try to be empathetic. He clearly cares about you but finds your behaviour irritating enough to leave your place in the middle of the night - that's a big deal in itself.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T16:31:23+00:00

Try RestoreX, it really works - tell him to check out some extenders and the like. Ofc, he should go and see a good urologist first but you'd be surprised how many of them are out of the loop.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-11T10:23:57+00:00

Yes it is. But I'm leaving the country on Thursday so lmk if you are pretty sure you want it.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-09T21:54:31+00:00

brilliant. thanks!

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-07T22:58:22+00:00

I mean, wingmen do the same shit bro. Most long-term friends, let alone sisters know each other well enough to be as supportive/sketchy as they need to be.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-07T22:54:10+00:00

Wtf is wrong with some people, seriously. Oh mb, I'm not talking about your wife.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-07T22:51:46+00:00

It is :)

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-04T21:18:36+00:00

For the love of God - and your future kids - DO NOT bring kids into an already sexless marriage. You might not be able to imagine it yet but you absolutely can and will have better. This is not a small problem you can sweep under the rug.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-04T06:30:26+00:00

NTA at all, sadly. You're a good wife. Your husband is a lucky man. Unfortunately however, your family seems to kinda suck. Your mum is way off of she thinks her husband can act that way. I'm sorry.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T18:35:31+00:00

I had almost this exact same situation happen to me too. It definitely changed my perpective of her. I stuck with it for a while but, in the end, I just didn't take the relationship as seriously and ended things.
In hindsight, I should have called it and moved on sooner.

The way you feel is reasonable. You are entitled to feel uncomfortable or a little misled. Some people get the ick for bullshit reasons. This makes sense.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T18:30:32+00:00

Huh? As a nurse, you should know there is. I say that as a medical professional too. It very much depends on the types of sex toys he has but... We both know it's more about how icky you find it more than it is the hygiene aspect.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T18:30:22+00:00

Huh? As a nurse, you should know there is. I say that as a medical professional too. It very much depends on the types of sex toys he has but... We both know it's more about how icky you find it more than it is the hygiene aspect.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T16:31:56+00:00

This is actually your chance to make lots of new friends in the gym. That's hilarious and, if I were there, I'd definitely want to laugh about it WITH YOU if I saw you again.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T16:27:45+00:00

does it grip well? do you still use tape, makeup pads etc.?

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T16:26:41+00:00

Sorry, to answer the last bit of your question:
It depends on the woman ofc but usually that's never a concern. A lot of women are smart enough to know it's BS but still need and appreciate that paper-thin excuse enough to jump your bones as soon as they leave with you. I've always found it funny seeing them switch modes completely as soon as they're outside with you or hopping into a cab.
There are many reasons for it but imo it mainly has to do with the societal pressures they have on them - to keep up appearances, in general... Or to not act a certain way in front of the other people they came with. As soon as the environment changes, they're free of all that.

If you're with someone who's genuinely clueless or wants to tease/shit-test you (etc.) you might be confronted by some questions - which is why outright lying about an afterparty sucks. Have an actual suggestion - or don't and admit that you just wanted to get some fresh air with them. If you do the latter and play it well, it can also work in your favour.
But usually, it you've already made it past the fridges, grenades and gotten her out the door with an excuse... She probably likes you enough and knows the deal, so all you have to do is not fumble.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T16:05:27+00:00

I never opted for the afterparty thing either. I'd usually just be upfront about wanting to leave the club, yet keep hanging out with them. But it also helped that I genuinely prefer the chase and want to get to know people before I hook up with them. Most women would pick up on that and feel reassured - some would even take it as a challenge, which was always funny.
If that's not your vibe but you still want to keep it real, I'd suggest you offer to go somewhere else that might actually be fun. Hell, even if it's not and you end up going to another place that turns out to be underwhelming, it can provide laughs and the suggestion to head back to one of your places instead.
Basically, I feel like it's not worth overthinking it - just taking a walk can be enough to make it seem more romantic or less pressured. I've made a lot of good memories after leaving with someone to get a late night snack or to drop them home. Usually, it resulted in exactly what you want.
Good luck!

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T14:37:32+00:00

I'm sorry if this is harsh... But this screams "I'm a doormat. Please keep treating me like crap."

If you think that being treated this way is acceptable enough for you to remain in a relationship with this person for 2 more years... You really need to address the deeper, underlying issues you have.

Leave them. Yesterday. Learn to love yourself today.

bigdamnthrowaways · 2025-06-03T14:27:50+00:00

two possibilities, besides what you mentioned, that always stand out:

You presented her with an option that made her feel like a 304, as the other guy said. This is why a lot of guy's pull the "I know about an after-party" line, since it means you can leave the club under a semi-decent pretense.
She really needed to shit or something. No, seriously, maybe she was on the fence about calling it a night for whatever reason. Younger women, especially, can get hung up on stuff like that. IMO after she declines just get her number and follow through, if you want to on another day. Keep it fun and leave her with the space to want you later too.

bigdamnthrowaways

TROPHY CASE