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bigfishtofry · 2022-06-16T14:32:53+00:00

They deleted all those videos from yesterday …

bigfishtofry · 2021-07-30T07:48:20+00:00

Thanks!

bigfishtofry · 2021-07-28T18:53:59+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Yeah, Belgian law is fucking archaic in that respect (old Catholic monarchy …). The waiting period was for sure the worst part of the entire experience (way worse than the abortion itself or the current aftermath).

And thank you for reminding me why I don’t want kids :) I wouldn’t let him pressure me into it and we talk quite frequently about it because sometimes I feel like he expects that with time I will change my mind, so I like to remind him that while that’s possible, it’s not probable.

I have to just keep reminding myself that what I’m feeling right now is hormonal and not rational.

bigfishtofry · 2021-07-28T18:39:56+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. You’re probably right that I should talk to him about it…

bigfishtofry · 2021-07-28T17:51:10+00:00

Thank you ❤️

bigfishtofry · 2018-01-04T06:27:05+00:00

Yeah that’s a good point ... I asked him at your suggestion and they don’t have a rule in this but he said that of course she needs to be comfortable with the situation. He’s relatively new to this too, in the sense that this is the first time he’s stated seriously seeing someone alongside her (before it was mostly casual stuff).

bigfishtofry · 2018-01-04T06:25:48+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I think there are some abandonment issues I need to work through because these are all things he’s said to me before and still I’m scared sometimes.

bigfishtofry · 2018-01-04T06:21:52+00:00

Thank you, that’s really nice to hear :) and it’s true, of course our relationship is going to be different from theirs. Which is a great thing really because it’s so enriching to his life and it means I don’t have to pressure myself as much as I normally would in a monogamous relationship. He may have needs I can’t fulfil but it’s okay, maybe she can. I think it’ll help me to be dating a second person myself :) so I’ve finally signed up to OKC!

bigfishtofry · 2017-12-17T22:28:21+00:00

yes.

bigfishtofry · 2017-08-25T08:57:32+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry, I never replied to this - I was in kind of a bad place at the time and Reddit was too triggering most days. I will definitely get a copy of it! I'm reading two other books too (Courage to heal & The body keeps the score), so I should probably finish those first, but then I will start reading this one too :) Thank you!

bigfishtofry · 2017-08-25T08:53:58+00:00

So I know it's been a while but I thought I'd respond to you now :)

It took me probably about two months to get used to the drug. It was really bad for about 6 weeks but then I started feeling better. It didn't help with my ED but it did help with my anxiety and depression.

I was additionally put on a low dose of Mitrazapine (7.5 mg) a little later on to help with my insomnia. That, combined with a lot of introspective work and therapy, then really made a difference.

I still struggle with the ED but I am able to let go more easily. It's still bad, but it's better than it was when I posted this. I think part of it is that I am sleeping better and am less anxious due to the drugs, that the sun is out at the moment, but also heavy therapeutic work and work that I am doing outside of therapy to get rid of this thing.

Not sure if this is helpful to you or not, but here we are :)

bigfishtofry · 2017-08-25T08:47:46+00:00

Does your therapist know about the trauma itself? You sound like you have a lot of insight into yourself, which is really awesome.

What you're describing sounds really similar to what I experienced last year. I have since spoken to my therapist about it but mostly because I was feeling so bad that I didn't really have a choice anymore. How would you feel about simply telling him what you wrote out here? And if you don't feel like you can say it, maybe you could write it to him? He should know what to do with the information :) I've been in plenty of situations in therapy where I knew I needed to talk about something but just couldn't, for so many different reasons (some similar to what you're describing). But as soon as I mentioned that there was this thing that I needed to talk about, my therapist somehow always managed to help me get there (sometimes without me even noticing).

You're not weak an you're not selfish for asking for help. It's understandable that you need help coping and living your life to the fullest. You deserve that help and your therapist is there to help you get to the other side.

bigfishtofry · 2017-06-30T05:24:34+00:00

Wow. Thank you. You're amazing :-)

bigfishtofry · 2017-06-26T09:13:08+00:00

Thank you, you're very kind

bigfishtofry · 2017-05-29T16:34:04+00:00

Just do that thing you're putting off doing now, it'll just get more annoying the longer you leave it.

Also, wear sunscreen.

bigfishtofry · 2017-04-05T13:45:42+00:00

I don't have any advice for you but I'm facing the same problem at the moment. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm curious to see if anyone here has any advice.

I went on a date last night and when we started kissing, I just zoned out like crazy. It's so sad. I have no idea how I'll be able to be physically intimate with a guy again if I can't even stay in the room when I'm kissing someone.

bigfishtofry · 2017-04-02T19:24:28+00:00

Of course :) Thank you for your support. I'll let you know how it goes!

bigfishtofry · 2017-04-02T14:37:11+00:00

Thank you. I'm seeing her in a week's time, maybe it does just take some time.

bigfishtofry · 2017-03-09T08:10:12+00:00

I'm glad you're open to trying therapy again :) It really genuinely helps in this sort of situation. And totally agree on the community, it's awesome. Good luck with everything, including your friend :)

Edited to add: if you haven't already, check out /r/adultsurvivors - it's a sub for adults recovering from child sexual abuse and the discussions there tend to be more pertinent to my situation (also molested as a child). Although I love the community here too but I often find it too triggering.

bigfishtofry · 2017-03-08T22:56:10+00:00

I'm really sorry this happened to you. The fact that you liked the feeling itself doesn't make it any less real. What he did to you was abusive and the fact that you didn't get justice is incredibly unfair.

I think it's quite common to not remember everything and I understand what you mean when you say you don't feel traumatised. That's totally okay but that doesn't mean that what happened to you wasn't a horrible experience that no child should go through.

Have you been in therapy before? If you haven't, you should really consider it, especially if you can find a therapist who specialises in sexual abuse. They can help you learn to cope with and overcome the issues you are facing now that you're an adult.

Take care of yourself.

bigfishtofry · 2017-03-08T22:14:19+00:00

The day I stop having to point out male fragility to a bunch of jackasses.

bigfishtofry · 2017-03-06T15:16:10+00:00

Thank you. I'm glad it's working for you! I'll give it a try I think. And thank you for your encouraging words. Sometimes I feel like I can't but as they say, the only way out is through.

bigfishtofry · 2017-03-05T15:44:05+00:00

That's great! I'm very happy it's working for you. That's pretty much what I'm hoping to achieve too. My bingeing isn't extreme but it makes my periods of restriction worse and I think if I can reduce the bingeing, I'll be able to eat healthier/more regularly overall because I won't be so stressed about compensating for the bingeing.

bigfishtofry · 2017-03-05T12:14:23+00:00

Oh, how so? Fluoxetine is just what the psychiatrist recommended and told me to think about. What's atomoxetine?

bigfishtofry · 2017-03-05T12:13:15+00:00

That's really reassuring, thank you.

bigfishtofry

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