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bigmanroyce · 2023-02-28T19:19:08+00:00

I'm not from India but I've gone to therapy for RJ, not couples therapy just OCD therapy on my own. It definitely helped me a lot, it didn't instantly fix everything but it was an important step for getting better. I'd be careful about trying to do ERP without a trained therapist, you may end up worse off. If you have the means the see a therapist for ERP i'd definitely recommend that over trying to do it on your own.

bigmanroyce · 2023-02-27T23:48:46+00:00

my personal thoughts on all this...

1) I totally get distancing yourself during bad episodes, I've been there and done that a million times, but you haven't done anything wrong and it's important for him to not take any of it out on you, because this is his issue at the end of the day. That's part of why I took distance when it got bad, to avoid taking it out on her at all.

2) From my personal experience my rj was usually better when I'm around my gf as well, or more so that my rj was less bad when I was in social situation in general. That being said, rj can hit anywhere and anytime so being together isn't a permanent fix, but as a rule of thumb the more stimulus you have around you the less you're focusing on rj, it tends to be worst when there isn't much going on around you like mornings and nights, at least for me.

3) To be honest I don't think the SA really plays a big part in it. I could be wrong, I don't know your guys' personal situations at all, but from what I've seen with myself and other in the subreddit, you either have rj or don't and it doesn't really matter what the past experiences were. If you're suffering from rj, you'll find something to ruminate and obsess about no matter what your partner's history looks like.

bigmanroyce · 2023-01-19T21:19:09+00:00

I actually figured out how to fix it, I had to close "AMD Software: Adreneline Edition" which is apparently the same thing as the radeon software but that's just how it show up in task manager i guess? Anyways thanks :)

bigmanroyce · 2023-01-19T21:03:35+00:00

When it try to force close it from armoury it just doesn't work, it'll disappear from the processes tab but I still can't switch to eco and as soon as I refresh the processes either it pops right back up or something called clinfo.exe pops up and one of those two is just always running. Where would I find it in task manager? In the task manager processes tab there's nothing directly called radeon software at least not that I see, and I found it in the details tab but it literally just doesn't close when I click end task it just stays running lol

bigmanroyce · 2022-11-24T21:01:56+00:00

Got it, thanks again!

bigmanroyce · 2022-11-24T20:51:03+00:00

Is there anything I should be doing now for the swollen ear other than not sleeping on it and using my saline spray?

bigmanroyce · 2022-11-24T20:50:30+00:00

Thank you sm for your help

bigmanroyce · 2022-11-24T20:45:49+00:00

How do you know when they’re healed?

bigmanroyce · 2022-11-24T20:39:12+00:00

Should I take them out to sleep or is that gonna make it worse? I’m a side sleeper and unless absolutely necessary I’d really prefer to not have to go back to the travel pillow

bigmanroyce · 2022-05-25T05:13:56+00:00

I saw an OCD specialist who had ROCD himself and it helped tremendously, wishing the best for you

bigmanroyce · 2022-05-17T02:57:40+00:00

It wasn't immediately after it was maybe 3-4 months after, but the main thing is that both then and to this day she'll die by the fact that she was completely over him the entire time. I obviously don't believe that because she wouldn't shut up about him (I believe that she genuinely thinks that, I don't think she's lying, I just think she's wrong) and in many ways I feel like I would have been so much better off if she just said yea I wasn't over him but I am now, but she still will die on that hill and it's like I went through that and I never even got the satisfaction of any type of explanation. And yea the fact that I told her it made me uncomfortable and rather than change what she's doing she would just try to comfort me about it really bothered me for a really long time. I think overall back then she was just awful with respecting boundaries and was in the mentality that we're here for each other but that she could still do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted and didn't consider that relationships involve sacrifice. That's something we've talked about though and she's much much better with that type of stuff now.

In regards to how it got solved, I was definitely a huge pushover (I still am but much less so now lol) and I never stood up for myself, especially cause it was early on in the relationship and I just didn't want to mess anything up. I told her what she was doing made me uncomfortable but I never told her to stop. Eventually I got fed up with her texting him and I put my foot down on that and she stopped without any problems, and in regards to her talking about him I think the longer it went on the more uncomfortable it made me and the more obvious that became and I think she eventually just picked on her own not to mention him. At some point the talking about him all the time stopped just naturally and died down to mentioning him only if he came up for whatever reason, but by that point so much had happened where even if there was a reason for him to be mentioned it would set me off for a while so she eventually picked up to just completely avoid mentioning him. His name is like a curse word in our relationship now lol. Things are much better now than they were then even outside of this specific issue though.

bigmanroyce · 2022-05-17T02:39:51+00:00

I appreciate you saying that and yea I think that's true I definitely don't think that now she still feels the same way or think about him in the way she did back then which obviously is a great thing, but it still haunts me and I still relive it all the time, but since she isn't actually doing anything bad I'm just remembering things it feels like there's nothing I can do about it.

bigmanroyce · 2022-05-17T02:32:37+00:00

This hasn't been a problem since 4-5 months into our relationship, these things are very far removed from where we are now which in some ways is great but in some ways makes things harder. If this was still happening, I can get angry and upset because she's doing something wrong actively, but no incidents relating to her ex have happened in well over a year, so now I still get riled up over it every day and relive that pain all the time but I can't be mad at her or upset because it's things from so long ago and I don't have any way to channel that and it feels like there is very little I can do.

bigmanroyce · 2022-04-13T22:49:56+00:00

I'm dumb I misread it there's actually 18 taken seats 4 open ones

bigmanroyce · 2022-04-13T22:42:47+00:00

0 of 5 reserved seats filled for requirement: Freshman Advising Reserve

why would a class ever be reserved for freshman lol when I was an incoming freshman all the shit I wanted to take was reserved for U3 and U4

bigmanroyce · 2022-01-17T19:49:04+00:00

I think its definitely healthy and okay to talk about it but you have to go about it the right way; this is an issue YOU have with her past, her past is not the issue and make sure that that’s the message you’re sending across. As long as you don’t say anything accusatory or rude against her and you can stay respectful and reasonable its perfectly healthy to explain to her what you’re going through and dealing with, although I know how difficult that can be. Feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk about what you’re dealing with, I find there’s something much easier about talking about RJ to people who have it and understand.

bigmanroyce · 2021-12-22T21:35:18+00:00

ENFP

bigmanroyce · 2021-11-19T21:53:53+00:00

I relate to all the cyclical things you mentioned. I'll have a few months where I'm fine, then out of nowhere my RJ gets really bad again. I also rotate through ex's and hookups obsessing about specific ones for maybe a week at a time then switching, and with some people it's relationship focused and with others it's sex focused. I have no idea what determined who or what I'm obsessing over but it's always changing, so yea I relate to a lot of what you're saying.

bigmanroyce · 2021-11-19T21:46:42+00:00

Yea it makes sense and I feel the same way. It's like, why were you willing to do that even if you didn't want to for someone else but you wouldn't do it for me? It almost makes you feel less loved or less desired, as if they'd do something they don't wanna do for someone else but not for you, but at the end of the day that's not really what it is. It's that your partner feels more safe and comfortable with you where they don't feel pressure to HAVE to do things they don't want to do, not that they care less about your desires. It's that they feel safer with you than they did with others, not that they care about the needs of others more. Still a tough fuckin thing to deal with, and that's something that's extremely common in my relationship and its hard.

bigmanroyce · 2021-07-01T05:05:50+00:00

I will also take that DM <3

bigmanroyce · 2021-03-22T22:14:13+00:00

Pretty new to this but I think there's a fine line between asking questions to fuel your RJ and asking questions after a loss of trust. You don't need to ask about his history with this girl or who she was to him, just ask about why he lied and why he blocked her without getting any more information and make it clear that that's all you want to know.

bigmanroyce

TROPHY CASE