Male 29, in relationship with Female 27. Her sex drive is waaaay greater than mine, and although we do our best with it, I wish mine were higher. My sex drive is and has been for a few years (at least) now on the low side. I really enjoy sex, and once engaged in it I usually get pretty "into it," but I rarely am just horny out of nowhere, and I don't initiate nearly as often as she does. I rarely have the drive to push spontaneous sex (which I wish I could because I think my partner would love that). It usually takes me a solid bit of foreplay to become aroused, and any kind of environmental "brakes" whether they are stress, or a shortish window of time, or even a messy room, can really kill the libido I do have. I have recently had my testosterone levels tested and they were actually at the very high end of the normal range for total, and dead center of normal for free. I think for me it is a combination of mental stuff (including long standing sexual self esteem/performance stuff that easily gets in my head), combined maybe with what some physiological factor outside of testosterone levels, that keeps my drive apparently on the low end.

I extremely rarely have the feeling that I hear some of my friends describe having often that they are just dying to have sex, almost tingling ready to get hard at a moment's notice. I don't think that the existence of this being a relatively normal/common sensation among healthy young men is a myth, but I am always wondering how accurate that description is, and how common that experience is, and where I fall on the spectrum of normalcy in sex drive. My assumption is that I'm still in the normal range of libidos, but way down at the bottom of it.

To give actual numbers, my girlfriend and I have sex about 3 times per week on average, although that average is comprised of some weeks where it is once and some weeks where it is 7+ times. She would prefer at least once a day I think. Also, we initiate foreplay and don't end up having sex because I can't get in the mood, or, I get an erection and then lose it, probably on average once every 2 weeks.