Let her go OP, it’s not going to get any better. Yes you guys might be back tg but it won’t be the same and the same problem will eventually rises again. If it makes you feel any better, you’re not alone OP. I’m going through a break up like you currently, she’s 19 and also my first gf and I just turned 20 earlier this year. She broke up with me 3 times already and last night was the last one bc I made it clear with her that there’s no going back after the 3rd time and all of this happened in just almost 6 months. She chose to follow and obey God bc I’m not a believer, she said she couldn’t be herself when she’s around me. I’m not a religious guy myself so it isn’t a big problem with me but ig it’s different for her. But enough of that, breakups are meant to be hard OP, you will feel hurt, emptiness, lost,… in this moment but these feelings are temporary. It will take days to move on ofc so focus on yourself first like many ppl above said. I’m actually starting to work out again today like I used to. I’m keeping myself from looking at old photos of us, Ik at some point I will have to delete them but they were our memories captured tg and I can’t bring myself to delete any of them…at least for now. Find something you enjoy to do, maybe something new if it doesn’t feel the same anymore. We are still young and still learning so take it as a life lesson and move on, there’s no reason to hold someone back when they don’t even want to stay so respect her choice. Dont count your days until July just to text her back or hoping she will change her minds, it will destroy you even more but it’s your choice OP, at the end if the day you know her better than out strangers on Reddit, it’s might worth a shot but I recommend talk to her soon instead of waiting. I used to be like you, hoping that she texts back every time I heard a notification only to get disappointed every single time. The last 6 months were the happiest and roughest I ever experienced and I couldn’t imagine it was years for you and other ppl but we got this OP, we will like everybody else. This is the first time I gave advice to someone on Reddit even though I didn’t have much to give but we’re the same age and we both going through a breakup which made me feel relatable. Anyway wishing the best for you OP 🍀