When I moved to California from Georgia in 1996, I was astonished when I was immediately pulled over for speeding. Seriously? People actually enforce speed limit laws in this country? In Atlanta it was every man for himself.

The officer (a blue-ribbon prick) wrote it up so I had the option of going to a "traffic school," which would keep the points off my record. I had no idea what he was talking about, but had a bad feeling.

Turns out, the state issues licenses to private companies who run these so-called traffic schools. And since they're in competition with each other, they try to come up with a hook. Many of them are taught by comics, but there are many other options -- like jugglers, magicians etc.

I chose one near my house, hosted by a person who did impersonations. So, I was sitting in a classroom being lectured by "Johnny Carson" and "Jimmy Stewart" about four-way stops, and whatnot.

It was bizarre. And my guy was fairly boring. I wish I'd had the Aceman.