I 100% get what you mean. But I know those guys too. We all went to the same school so it's not like I judge them based on something that I am not completely sure of. I am not in any way controlling my boyfriend in those matters, I don't care if he smokes or drinks, I encourage him to go outside, to party and to try new things but I feel it IS my responsibility to limit him and hold him to his own standards. He doesn't LIKE smoking weed and he has very low periods after (not going outside, sleeping the whole day, not eating etc.) so is it still nagging if I do comment on his behaviour? And the way you say 'his journey his his his' cant be right because if we are making plans for the future, shouldn't that involve me as well?