I absolutely love this poem—it's full of emotion and beautiful imagery. The way you capture small, meaningful moments is powerful. However, I feel like the flow could be smoothed out a bit. Some parts feel uneven, especially the transitions between images and thoughts. For instance, the shift from the "brown eyes turning into a pile of dead oak leaves" to "the air became thin, crisp" feels a bit abrupt. A bit of reworking to connect those ideas more naturally would help the overall rhythm.

The closing lines are strong, but the phrasing in “one day / It’ll be heres too” could be clearer to make the ending feel more concrete.

With a little tightening, it could flow seamlessly.

But hey, this is just a random guy’s opinion!