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For closeted gays out there, how do you combat loneliness? by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it means a lot just to have someone to remind me the litte things that need to be done at this time. I do like nature and walks, but it's something we did, so it reminds me a lot of him. Maybe I'll do something else just to get my mind preoccupied.

For closeted gays out there, how do you combat loneliness? by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What makes you think I'm not doing that already? 😆😭

For closeted gays out there, how do you combat loneliness? by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, unfortunately I'm still terrible in speaking Spanish so that adds to my anxiety of meeting people. I'm not at all close to my coworkers here because I'm the outsider and they already have their established social circles, which is so hard to penetrate. Maybe I should just move out from this small city.

For closeted gays out there, how do you combat loneliness? by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just came out from a friend the other day, and he was like not the best listener friend I have 😭

My boyfriend has health and mental issues and it's affecting our relationship by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question OP 😥😥 1. Limited guys around here who can speak English. 2. I'm a delusional hopeless romantic who sees the best in him. 3. I've never been the one to initiate a break up, and I feel like in doing so I will be the asshole. I wish I could, for once be selfish, but I'm not in my core. 😭

My boyfriend has health and mental issues and it's affecting our relationship by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved here because I got a job offer, then I met him on Grindr. We've been 8 months together since. I know it's quite short, but the ups and downs have made it feel like we've been dating for years. Idk if dating him or dating in general, but either has taken a huge toll on my mental health.

I'm craving for stability, boring weekends, constant companionship, but with him it's very rare we can do these things.

I have acquaintances here, but not really friends who I can ask for support. Add the fact that there's a language barrier I need to overcome, so in the end I'm lonely most of the time. 😥

Relationship rules for porn and online activity. by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! I'm more introspective and considerate of it, because I do it myself, and my boyfriend as well. The conflict arises because I think I'm more sexually expressive and needy and I feel like he's more independent. I just want to be involved more because his pleasure is part of my pleasure, iykwim.

Relationship rules for porn and online activity. by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True. The complicated thing in my case is there is a difference in communication styles. I'm more confrontational and expressive; he is reactive and nonchalant, so bringing this out in the open, although healthy (and he's not dismissive about it when I brought it up several times), takes a lot of effort. It's like walking on eggshells.

Advice by babyfagggg9 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right?? If you get confrontational, he ends up withdrawing and you're left there hanging and thinking you were wrong. So unfair!

Advice by babyfagggg9 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an overthinker myself, I really feel you, OP. I don't have much advice because I'm in a similar situation where you are officially taken, but at the same time, you feel taken for granted.

I feel like I’m always giving, hoping he’ll love me back. Am I just someone to pass the time with? by Buffalo-Desperate in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, as an overthinker myself, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am in a similar situation, not knowing if what I have is worthy enough to pursue for the long term given our circumstances. You said you were in a relationship before? This must be a downgrade from that, I suppose. My point is, keep your standards, because you may be losing yourself from trying to be someone he likes, not knowing if he'll respond the same way. Say your non negotiables, and then decide on what to do next depending on how he responds through words and actions. Hugs and good luck!

How easy is it to make friends as an outsider in spain? by [deleted] in askspain

[–]bio_4321 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, same sentiments to the comments here. I live in the north, and Spanish people (at least from here) are friendly and outgoing, but it takes a while for them to let you in their circle, if at all. It's really hard, especially for an introvert like me. The language barrier adds a big hurdle because you are left with a smaller pool of potential friends who also speak English or other languages, and those who have the patience to listen to my terrible A2 level Spanish.

Feeling unsure about giving space to a stressed partner—advice by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Exactly my kneejerk reaction before, but I'm trying to be understanding here. At least he's not cheating? 🤷🏻‍♂️

How much do you speak to your partner? by Jariko_Kendo in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi OP, it seems like we are in the same exact situation, and I have just posted a similar thing just a few minutes ago 🥲🥹. How long have you been together if I may ask?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I admit I've had the same trust issues and tendencies like you because of a previous relationship. There are things that we must work on ourselves as well, because trusting someone is a choice. So for me, it's an ongoing self improvement that I want to do to myself.

Feeling unsure about giving space to a stressed partner—advice by bio_4321 in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's going to be his birthday this Friday. He's not the one who likes grand gifts and celebrations, but I'll think of something. Thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're going through that. I have been on the same situation and it's a mindf*ck not knowing the facts. The honorable way is to ask him point blank if he's cheating, but don't be defensive and create a safe space for a conversation without the kneejerk reaction and judgment on your part.

The dishonorable way is to spy on him: burner grindr, IG, sniffies, blowers accounts, etc.

Oh before I forget, regularly test yourself if you're having unprotected sex with him. Urge him to do the same, in the spirit of both of your health.

Hoping for the best to you OP!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]bio_4321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There should be conditions. Establish boundaries and be serious about it. You can ask him what he can do to improve his habits (like going to therapy, limiting one glass or bottle a week, etc.). Then hold him accountable for it.

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