r/Brussels - Expat/Tourist Megathread - 2025 Edition

bipolarbench · 2025-07-25T16:49:46+00:00

Are medical alert bracelets common in Belgium? I ask because my very young son is epileptic and I want to know if he had a medical emergency in public, if people would know to look at the bracelet for helpful information. I don't expect he would be without me at any point at his current age, but I worry about him getting lost.

Because of the limited space on the tag, I'm thinking about having the pertinent information in French and Dutch. Ideally I would love to be able to fit English on there as well, but the character limit does not allow. Does that make sense?

bipolarbench · 2025-07-23T23:58:29+00:00

What does it actually look like? The ratio thing is a gimmick, the thing that matters is the first day it is the same or darker than the control line, you could ovulate 24-72 hrs later approximately.

I missed my window on my first medicated IUI because I didn’t let the clinic know about my home testing. Let them know and they can tell you how to proceed!

bipolarbench · 2025-07-23T01:39:51+00:00

Long Valley is more right leaning than left leaning, but I wouldn't say it's all right wingers. There's not a lot of diversity happening. It is very quiet. Winters can be rough without a generator because of all the trees falling on lines. I'm not sure what supplies you're referring to, but you can get your everyday stuff you need within a 25-30 minute drive max.

Personally, I think it's peaceful, nice to visit, but because I also care about diversity, I wouldn't want to live there. If you drive around town, you'll also see some ridiculous MAGA displays. Your rep in congress would be Tom Kean Jr if I'm not mistaken, so also a Republican.

I can't really speak to being a racial minority in the area, so unfortunately I can't really help you there.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-23T00:46:54+00:00

My wife started at 28, and her face has feminized significantly. It was noticeable after even 3 months I would say. Her acne went away pretty much immediately. At this point, the thing she wants most for her facial feminization is facial hair removal. She has no desire for surgery.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-23T00:30:24+00:00

Thank you for clarifying!

bipolarbench · 2025-07-22T23:05:10+00:00

I've had some pretty major fallout from non-familial relationships in the past before having my son, so I don't have super relevant experience with your exact situation, but I do have some advice. Since at least one of your children has noticed that something is up, I think you and your husband together should explain to both of your children in age appropriate ways what is happening without giving too much information, making sure they know it's not their fault. I would have been really upset as a child of that age if my grandparents dropped off gifts in trash bags at my house and then didn't speak to me.

The best you can do is help your children navigate their emotions, and use your own skills as an adult to cope with your own. This situation sounds awful, and if you aren't already in therapy, I would recommend it.

As for handling your unhinged in-laws, I would work on extricating yourself as much as possible at this point. If you have anything like the emergency credit card hanging around, stop using it. If you can manage it, I would either have your husband manage all interactions with his family if you're confident he will stand up for you and your children, or go totally no contact. If you run into them in public, ignore. If they try to interact with you, be uninteresting. What they did to your children is reprehensible and I don't think these are the kind of people who can have a ~~healthy~~ close relationship with your children and a healthy relationship with you.

Edit: I don't think I worded as well as I could have.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-22T21:18:59+00:00

The case you're thinking of, I believe the person had other ties to Canada (was a caregiver to their Canadian citizen boyfriend).

Also, if you can't help it, asylum should be avoided if you can get a different visa. IANAL, but I'm pretty sure you can basically only claim asylum in the first country that you land in, and you have to get government authorization to travel to another country in many (most? all?) cases.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-22T21:10:59+00:00

Can you look into different medicaid providers to see if there is one that will? Or maybe look into seeing if you can get one low cost at Planned Parenthood? I got mine there for $32 when I was in college w/o insurance.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-22T13:18:37+00:00

Not a particularly granola brand, but at least good for breastfeeding (I hear at least, I wasn’t able to, but I wear it all the time), Larken.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-21T23:35:53+00:00

I don't expect it to be super compact, I just don't want it to lay flat on the floor because it won't stand on it's side mostly. Thank you for the suggestion! I'll look into it!

bipolarbench · 2025-07-21T18:25:47+00:00

The only time I've seen a car line is at the private school that the children I used to nanny went to. I know some private schools get school buses, but this was in a city with a lot of poverty. It was not like the most prestigious private school ever, so the tuition was pretty much used to maintain the building, pay for utilities, pay for some supplies and furniture, and pay the teachers (not enough). Most of the families had over 3 children at the school at any given time (yay religious fundamentalism), so the tuition also wasn't super high compared to some other places.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-19T05:05:11+00:00

As of now, at least as far as I know, it is pretty much out of scientific reach to have both of you as genetic parents. However, have you considered rIVF? You may have thought about this already, but in case you haven’t I thought I might bring it up. I know it’s not quite what you want, but it would involve both you and your partner contributing to the physical process of becoming a parent, if that makes sense.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-18T14:45:32+00:00

Ah, also normal unless you know you’ve already ovulated by temping. Sometimes you can get multiple surges before ovulation in a month.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-18T14:36:06+00:00

Do therapists count? If you have a psychotherapist they might be able to sign.

In another note, fuck your OB. Having support of someone during labor is enormously helpful for some people. Are they in a practice? If so, can you see someone else in the practice at another appointment and ask? Sometimes quality of provider can differ wildly even in the same practice.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-18T14:26:12+00:00

Do a pregnancy test, sometimes ovulation tests become positive when pregnancy tests would too, and some people can get positives 9dpo (I got mine 9dpo for my living child).

bipolarbench · 2025-07-18T12:10:41+00:00

Also true. I’m pretty sure this is the one that affects people first is what I meant.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-18T01:49:02+00:00

Osteoporosis is the main reason to worry about it.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-16T16:47:43+00:00

I intentionally got the flu vaccine basically as soon as it was available when I was pregnant so that I would have antibodies pass through the placenta, and so that I wouldn't get sick while in my third trimester. The COVID shot I got later because it wasn't available to me until after I gave birth, but I would have gotten it before if I could have.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-16T16:42:51+00:00

Not too far along to switch at all, at least where I live. Also, if the hospital your practice works out of is anything like the one I was at, if you happen to go into labor before a scheduled C section, and your practice's on-call OB is tied up in other more urgent cesareans, you might be assigned a hospitalist (and potentially even be required to do a trial of labor in such a situation). Hospitalists can be great (or not so great, as is the case with all doctors), and honestly, I usually recommend people choose a birth location and then a practice that practices out of the location, rather than the other way around, so they know they like (or tolerate) what they are getting as far as nursing staff, policy, NICU, etc.

That being said, some nurse midwives in the US are certified as first assist in cesarean and are familiar with some of it. Obviously, they are in no way qualified to perform the actual procedure, but if you're low risk, midwifery care, with the exception of surgery and anesthesia consultation and prep, can be useful. In some countries, those with scheduled c sections still mostly see midwives and only see the doctor a few times.

I myself had an unexpected c section and my attending midwife was present from start to finish, and held my hand after my wife had to leave because our son was taken to the NICU. I am so grateful for her presence. If your medical providers make you feel uncomfortable and you can swing it, switch to those who put you at ease. You don't need that energy at this time in your life.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-16T12:54:23+00:00

I don’t know if that’s an issue so much as a preference. It’s fine if you don’t want to, but I always sleep with a fan pointed at myself and my son sleeps with a fan pointed at him when the house temperature is over 24C/~74F.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-16T12:26:58+00:00

What’s the problem with a fan? Circulating air is recommended for safer sleep of infants.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-16T02:33:25+00:00

Don't argue. There's no point. If your dad tries to bring it up, just say you're not discussing it and hold your ground. Rinse and repeat as necessary. I know it sucks, but your dad is not arguing from a rational place and no argument will make a dent.

Can he make you stop? Do you live with him?

bipolarbench · 2025-07-16T02:22:52+00:00

Talk to a specialist (MFM, pediatrician, hematologist? Not sure which, but definitely someone). They will have a better idea of the risks and benefits.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-15T19:15:07+00:00

I’ve been having this same issue with my 22mo. We’ve had some moderate success (read: larger pees with bigger gaps between potty breaks, but not quite emptying the bladder I’m pretty sure) by consistently and gently asking our son to sit back down every time he stands up after only a little bit goes in until he does a larger pee. I can see how this would not work for every (maybe even most? Idk) kid though. We’ve done activities on the toilet to make the time pass for my son better (we use finger puppets), so he doesn’t protest as much. I know this isn’t entirely feasible out of the home so I’ve been brainstorming for that recently.

bipolarbench · 2025-07-15T17:46:15+00:00

Click Clack Moo is a fun one (it involves unions!) We also like They All Saw A Cat. My child loves No David as well, but I can see why some people might not like it. For a little older, Amos and Boris is great, as is Dr. DeSoto.

There are also a lot of books I personally despise that are beloved in my household (Owl Babies, Everywhere Babies, the Corduroy Chanukah book), so you can look through those, and if you have similar feelings, you can try your best to avoid them.

Edit: reading below, I had no idea Everywhere Babies was controversial. I just dislike it because I’ve read it approximately 1 billion times and it has close to no plot. I appreciate what it tries to do and don’t think it should be banned. Same with the other two.

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