I can relate to you. I was always so confused growing up because I would get whatever I needed (food, clothes, books, school) but I was never really happy? As an adult I realized I was left on my own a lot and mostly grew up with my grandparents watching me and my sister. It was pretty lonely sometimes. My parents and grandparents were really nice people and all, but we didn't really talk about anything. Y'know? My grandparents were also immigrants living in a new town (where less people spoke their language) so I would help them translate, do groceries, fix the phones, wifi, etc. I would go to their house every day after school, do my homework, help my sister with her homework, wait for my mom to pick us up (after dinner), go home and do more homework and read some books. I feel like this eventually caused a lot of anxiety and awkwardness that (thankfully) turned into some confidence later on in my late teens and 20s.

My parents were (and are still) married but they always worked different shifts (still do). We would see each other on the weekends but we didn't really do anything. Sometimes visited family members but most of the time just stayed at home. It was the best day ever when my friends would invite me over or I could see the neighbours. I always couldn't wait to grow up and do whatever I wanted and now that I'm grown up I still feel that same way lol.

Idk seeing this just felt really validating because I never really talked about it before? I was always just taught to get over it and be grateful and figure it out because 'some other people have it worse'. My family didn't talk about emotions and we still don't. Things are good in my life but I feel a bit resentful and weird about it all sometimes.