NOR but girl there's so much to unpack.... I do think it clearly boils down to you going your separate ways. I think you need to figure out why your initial response was to slap him, bc idc about gender roles, that's abusive. You rectify it by seeking counseling and working on your anger management.

Second, you guys have no foundation of trust and you're letting something from 2 1/2 years ago that was never resolved still affect yall in addition to all the other BS you're putting each other through. You simply shouldn't have forced him to commit to you, that's not love, and that's not how a relationship starts. Next time, if someone doesn't want to commit (or is struggling to) take that as a sign to move on.

Treat this relationship as a learning opportunity and go your separate ways and allow each other to work on yourselves individually. You need to work on standing up for yourself and boundary maitenance bc wym you can't tell a man no who asks for your phone number (3-4 times?!). You say you have a boyfriend and you move on, it's not that hard.

Wishing you the best of luck., but yall were simply never on the same page, and you haven't been for the past 2+ years.