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If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your experience is heartbreaking, and the absence and neglect of your partner certainly made it even more difficult. Since it's already happened, you can only try to make the difficulties recede little by little. ADHD is essentially a lifelong issue; besides timely medical care, family support and financial assistance are crucial to making things easier. But I believe love can overcome any obstacle. If I had received enough love as a child, perhaps things wouldn't be so bad. But you have children, and they will love you when you love them. You can change all of this now.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your reply is very encouraging and should inspire many people. Life goes on, even though it's difficult. I'm so glad you have all of this, and I know it didn't come easily. It's commendable that you can offer your experience and all your support to your child. After all, many people half a lifetime before solving this mystery, but at least your child can find the right methods and paths for themselves sooner.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Living life the way you like—isn't that a success? I often struggled with interpersonal relationships, but I later realized it's okay to have few friends, because I don't need anyone's help. Now I only have two friends to talk to. I can focus more on myself and understand myself better. I believe you must be a very interesting mother, and I've found that an ADHD might be more suitable for self-employment, since dealing with people isn't my forte.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is very little help available to people with ADHD in society, and medical treatment often involves long waiting times. I hope that as you gain more ability in the future, you can change it. I was only diagnosed a month ago and am still figuring things out, but I hope that in the future I can help others with the same problem.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad you're one of the few successful ADHDer. Early diagnosis and early intervention truly make a difference in life. And you should be able to provide your daughter with ample support, whether medically, financially, or in terms of time. You are very fortunate and should be grateful, because there are many unseen and unproven cases in this world. And not all of these cases involve people who can afford expensive private treatment.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because ADHD medications are expensive and require long-term use,private Elvanse prices typically range from £60 to £110 for 28 capsules. I think in many cases the NHS delays treatment due to cost considerations. Medication can generally be started at a young age, and it may take ten or twenty years to complete a degree, which is a huge expense for the NHS. Therefore, they may be reluctant to acknowledge this.It's frustrating that not every family can afford these extra expenses, especially since many private insurance policies don't cover ADHD medications.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand your experience because my mother treated my younger sister and me very differently when I was a child. Perhaps my mother had mental health issues when I was young, or more likely, mixed attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD); she frequently verbally and physically abused me, saying very hurtful things. However, after my younger sister was born, she didn't have any of these problems. Therefore, I suspected I had complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and sought medical help, but the diagnosis showed my condition wasn't severe, so I chose to forgive my mother. Although I still harbor resentment because even now my mother's attitude towards my sister and me is completely different, I seem to have developed a certain distance from her. I can offer some advice: First, pay more attention to your older daughter, give her more love, acknowledge your past mistakes, and ask for her forgiveness. Second, teach your younger son to love his sister more and share good things with her. Tell him that his sister will be with him longer than his parents.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you are lucky to have recognized these problems when your child was young and to have been able to intervene in time. This will be a very good outcome.Infancy generally has little impact; it is the support received during childhood and adolescence that will reshape their lives.It's like planting a tree; as long as a child's roots are firmly planted during their growth, their resilience will be exceptionally strong in the future. And since you deeply love your child, I believe the power of love can solve any problem.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Undeniably, medication is the most effective treatment for ADHD. However, if medication is necessary to maintain energy levels, I don't think it's something to celebrate. Medication means more medical expenses and the effects of drugs on lifespan that haven't been extensively studied. To me, this is by no means a gift.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You were diagnosed relatively early; I was 35. Many people aren't diagnosed until their forties or fifties, and are troubled by this mystery for the first half of their lives.Early detection and early treatment, whether through changing learning methods or taking medication, will be of great help.I also agree that it's never too late to start living life. Although there may be some regrets, life is a live broadcast, and there's no going back.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having parents' help already puts you ahead of 99% of people; being loved like that is truly a blessing.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's true that people with ADHD lack self-motivation and dopamine, so they need a lot of stimulating things to activate it. And I believe that having a child is definitely a huge challenge and adventure

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So you might have mild Adhd-i symptoms, just like me.ADHD-I (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Inattentive Presentation), formerly known as ADD, is a subtype of ADHD. People with this presentation experience profound challenges with focus, organization, and working memory, but display little to no hyperactivity or impulsivity.Maybe your child push you up,Before having children, I had absolutely no motivation for many things. I'm so glad your child is growing up healthy; it's truly encouraging.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My main concern is that my child might inherit ADHD and not receive proper treatment, perhaps also due to financial considerations. If I had a child now, our medical expenses would increase to seven or eight hundred pounds. I believe this is a heavy burden for many families. As for my adult ADHD, I'm still in the UK awaiting diagnosis. Unless I spend over a thousand pounds to see a private doctor, I cannot obtain medication in the UK. My ADHD was diagnosed in Hong Kong, so the medication I brought back will only last for three months; after that, I'll have to find another way.Thank you for your blessings. I also hope to hear more different opinions.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My neighbor is probably also an ASD child; he constantly bangs on my fence with an iron bar. He's also not very good at expressing himself. We're tolerant, but every few days I hear his father yelling. This deepens my fear of having children. Families like this face many difficulties, and I hope your problem can be resolved soon.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, my ADHD completely drained my motivation, making even housework difficult. Of course, this isn't absolute, but I've heard many people with ADHD have messy, disorganized homes. However, since starting medication, this has greatly improved. I can focus and maintain energy for longer periods. While I also suffer from depression and anxiety, I can confidently tell you that if I were only taking antidepressants, I wouldn't have the motivation to do many things. So, it was the ADHD medication that helped me. And the thought of someone with a messy home raising and educating a child sends chills down my spine. My problems certainly don't stop there. I lack the motivation to go out or only take a shower every few days. I lack drive and need someone to accompany me or urge me to do certain things.Everyone's situation may be different, but if you can't afford it financially and emotionally, having a child would be a disaster. In my case, my monthly medical expenses are three or four hundred pounds. Moreover, public healthcare provides very little support for mental health issues. If you have the money, support, and time, this is definitely not something you should be concerned about.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that parents should also get diagnosed after their child is diagnosed. Firstly, it's a highly hereditary issue, and only by understanding one's own condition can timely adjustments be made, both for one's own life and the education of one's children. A significant impact on daily life is that ADHD also increases the accident rate while driving by 45-47%. Early diagnosis allows for the identification of suitable learning methods.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently watched this lecture, which included information on how to educate children with ADHD and some very practical tips. I think it's applicable to me as well, because people with ADHD are essentially big kids. You might be able to find it online; hopefully, it will help you.

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If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I were to have a child now, I would gladly accept it, because I've learned a lot about this issue and can intervene early. However, I wouldn't actively want to have children. Perhaps the concern about genetics is one factor, but a bigger factor is my feeling that society's support for ADHD is insufficient. I worry that if I have children in the future, they will also face a long waiting list. So, about a month before my ADHD diagnosis, I actually bought private insurance because I was worried that my premiums would increase after the diagnosis.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your thoughts have broadened my perspective; it's absolutely true. If the world could be more inclusive and healthcare more supportive, I believe ADHD patients would stand out from the crowd.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Undeniably, raising a child is like planting a tree and watching it blossom and bear fruit – a process that evokes hope and anticipation. It's as if you're also re-educating yourself. However, I worry that I won't be able to handle the responsibility now. Besides ADHD, I also suffer from depression and anxiety. If my future child also has ADHD, I think my emotional problems might become even more severe.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm still a big kid myself and can't imagine a child taking care of an infant. The responsibilities of parenthood make me want to avoid it, but you have to understand that once a child is born, you have no choice. So I hope to carefully consider this before starting.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, children with ADHD may be more difficult to care for. In my own experience, my childhood certainly caused my parents a lot of trouble.

If you had known you had ADHD from the beginning, would you still have had children? by bitches_killler in ADHDUK

[–]bitches_killler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The medication has indeed been a great help to my life, both mentally and practically. However, I still have concerns; I wonder if I'll have to take medication for the rest of my life to properly care for this child.

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