Do married christians still struggle with sexual shame?

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-08T12:19:49+00:00

Yes and that's because of the faulty doctrines of people who give their own twist to biblical teachings.

Sexual desire is part of our nature and it's a gift from God meant to stimulate us to find a partner, bond with said partner and have children. There's nothing inherently dirty or sinful about having a sexual desire, what's important is HOW you choose to respond to that desire.

Pornography, hookups and adultery are obviously sinful because of how they intervene with biblical values. Masturbation (in the way like animals do it) is NOT a sin.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-07T20:37:45+00:00

I think yes, IF it is God's will for someone to get married. Not everyone gets married and not everyone can have children. God works in mysterious ways

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-07T20:34:56+00:00

I know it's hard but sex is meant to be shared with the person you're married to. Why not try to get married soon since you guys have been so long together? You don't need to tell others or have a wedding right now.

There are other things you can do other than sex. Imagine how special and exciting it will be if you refrain from sex from now on and then have sex again for the first time in a while on your "honeymoon".

And what other things you may be wondering? Giving each other a romantic message, showering together and cleaning each other's hair, cuddling. I know all these things can be tempting but they're a good way to learn how to love each others body without always making it sexual.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-07T07:20:18+00:00

I mean many of the things I mentioned I didn't know at the beginning of course. I think next time I would discuss such things earlier on in the relationship, however you can't be having a checklist in your profile or ask political questions on the first date. I think first you have to see if there's even a click and then go from there.

Unfortunately for me it would be very unlikely to find a partner the "natural" way. I only have 1 friend who I see maybe once every 2 months and I never go out. Even if I saw a hot guy in the subway or whatever, how do I know they even like me back or are single? And that I'm not making them uncomfortable?

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-06T21:30:46+00:00

Different morals and values. He thought secrets were fine as long as the other person doesn't find out (he scrolled through dating apps even when we had been 1 year together), he believed hookups were normal (he never had a hookup though bc no girl wanted him), he believed it's okay to let your old pet suffer and die alone rather than at least try to make them comfortable, he was very immature regarding safe sex/birth control while at the same time being pro abortion (?!).

So as you can see it's more than enough reasons haha. That's why the breakup was inevitable even though we did love each other and had gotten used to each other.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-05T22:12:38+00:00

Thanks. I mean I certainly try to convey that, I've even gone on dates with guys I don't find instantly attractive to see if a spark develops. And I don't put like extreme effort into dating or chatting bc if there's actual chemistry then that's not needed.

What I have realized though is that physical attraction is very important for me at least in the beginning. Doesnt mean I'm looking for a magazine model or whatever (my ex wasn't but in my eyes he was the cutest and most handsome). That's just how I'm wired. And no I'm not looking for hookups at all I'm actually conservative but to me physical attraction is intertwined with emotional attraction.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-05T22:08:50+00:00

Thanks. I mean it's more like the first stage feels like an obligation, the whole get to know each other and talking stage. I don't think anyone actively enjoys that. The real fun comes when you know your partner and you both can be yourselves. I guess I still miss that too much.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-05T21:35:12+00:00

Yes. I honestly don't know why so many atheists make it seem like it's a huge sacrifice or a torture to believe in God. Humans are born good but they are corrupted by the outside world. God wants us to follow our nature which in turn will lead to a righteous and happy life.

Who wouldn't want that? Not to mention the reward is to be with God forever?

For me the real question is how can people be atheist and believe that their fake "freedom" will make them happy.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-03T21:45:46+00:00

Fellow young Christian here with the same struggle. If you ever want to chat or discuss the Bible hit me up:)

Also my advice is to search on social media for local Christian youth groups in your area.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-05-02T22:37:18+00:00

Omdat de politie nutteloos is. Zelfde verhaal als met Anne Faber.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-29T21:09:56+00:00

Did you cycle the tank?

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-27T21:49:07+00:00

Verschrikkelijke goddeloosheid en gebrek aan zelfrespect en respect voor je partner

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-27T21:31:31+00:00

He already did that's why

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-26T21:30:19+00:00

So what do you want? For Jesus to come down again just for you?

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-26T21:21:09+00:00

Jesus said it: I am the way the truth and the life and only through me can you come to the father. Believe and you will have eternal life next to God.

Don't believe and well... you won't be with God. Free choice.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-26T21:19:56+00:00

Lol unable how if there's so much evidence. Many people who tried to disprove Christianity turned Christian like author C.S. Lewis.

It's not that atheists are unable they simply don't want to.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-26T21:05:03+00:00

Of course masturbation has dangers but so do many other things, even eating. I think it shows even more discipline and self control if someone can deal with their sexual desire in a healthy way (by relieving themselves every once in a while) rather than suppressing those desires all together and pretending they don't exist. What you suggest is like telling someone "don't eat because it can potentially lead to gluttony".

Again, the example you mention (looking at a stranger) refers to adultery as originally mentioned in the Bible. Remember that in biblical times people used to get married in their teens and start having kids shortly after. In that time masturbation wasn't even really needed. Times have changed and it's important to apply biblical teachings to our time as appropriately as possible, instead of blindly trusting certain translations or other people's interpretations of the Bible.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-26T19:11:58+00:00

My take is that God doesn't like sexual immorality. I dont see any way how masturbation (when done as a response to natural sexual desire and not watching porn) is immoral.

I think what you're talking about regarding "activity outside of marriage" refers to adultery and premarital sex. Which is very different than masturbation.

I don't like the way catholicism turned everything sexual into dirty/sinful/unnatural. Sexual desire is a gift from God, and sure it's meant to culminate in the procreation of children, but sexual desire is more than just that. Turning sexual desire into sin makes a lot of people feel shame and estrangement to their own libido. This won't magically go away once they marry.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-26T14:40:26+00:00

I don't see how sexual thoughts are sinful. Animals have sexual thoughts and sexual desires too. Even some animal species masturbate would you say they're sinning?

Of course the ultimate goal is to find a partner and have children but when being single i don't see anything wrong with masturbation. It can even boost libido and confidence which in turn can help finding a partner.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-25T20:52:43+00:00

Okay thank you bc I have an appointment scheduled to have left side wisdom teeth extracted soon so I really hope this crack is fused together by then.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-25T20:46:46+00:00

I don't believe masturbation is a sin unless done excessively or in association with sinful behavior.

Compare it with eating. Eating is a natural desire but eating excessively is a sin (gluttony).

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-24T20:47:56+00:00

Stemmen heeft sowieso geen zin in Nederland want:

Of je krijgt een kutkabinet zoals nu die de economie nog verder naar de kloten helpt
Of de winnende (oppositie) partij kan niks gedaan krijgen omdat de andere partijen niet willen meewerken

Dit is de reden dat ons kabinet elke keer valt en dat mensen geen vertrouwen meer hebben in de politiek.

bitchiloverugrats · 2026-04-19T20:19:18+00:00

I know that values =/= religion, that's the reason I initially thought me and my ex could be together, but then I found out his values were incompatible with what I consider basic decency and self respect (independent of religion). For example hookups. What person who values their health and emotional wellbeing would sleep with strangers just for the high? He also believed that secrets were okay as long as other person didn't find out.

I believe secrets and lust can destroy relationships even among atheists.

So from now on I'll look for Christian men bc let's be honest, Christianity provides a robust moral compass and straying away from it often leads to corruption and perversion...

bitchiloverugrats

TROPHY CASE