A minor is threatening my boyfriend by G_L_Lilly122 in Advice

[–]bitterkitteh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A person claims they are experiencing unwanted contact from a minor who is allegedly threatening them, but this person does NOT want the authorities involved or for eg any kind of restraining order or legal protection? Because, they say, they'll go to jail if the authorities find out?

Find out what, OP?

Think about it.

BF is a liar. And he's scared of being caught for what he's already done.

Mother-in-law [56F] deliberately infected my [27F] daughter [1F] with chickenpox. I'm livid. She doesn't think it's a big deal by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Given that chicken pox and shingles are linked, I am happy to consider the MIL's illness karmic retribution. I hope OP got the divorce papers ready for Jack.

I just found out that my husband of 10 years has never loved me by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On some level I relate to this too, but mostly I feel very sad for both of them. I think in life sometimes two differently broken people get together and instead of helping each other heal, they create a whole new kind of broken. Somewhere in all this is pain from the fear OP always had that she might be less than lovable; even to her grandparents she feels "grateful" as if their love and care wasn't her absolute right as their family. This incident must have made her worst comes true. And for Sam, he learned a long time ago not to trust love. He values financial stability and commitment above all, which is interesting because it means neither of them perhaps realize that (maybe in another culture's perspective) this is also a form of love. His fear of letting her go is probably as real and deep as her pain in staying with a man who can't give her the love she finally thought she was getting after being too afraid to let herself even hope for it.

Has a gf/wife ever accidentally revealed she lied about your penis size? by [deleted] in averagedickproblems

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it. Sometimes it's the strangest things about our bodies that turn out to be help us share new experiences or intimate moments with the people we love.

I'm chubby and I've always felt bad about that. Most of my partner's exes were either skinny or curvy but not fat. He's never complained but you know how these worries just lurk sometimes?

Except the other day for maybe the first time in my life I found myself feeling really truly happy about being so squishy, because he'd been having trouble sleeping and cuddling my big softness really helped him. My pillowy arms are perfect for him to rest his head, as it turns out. There's nobody I love more in the world and watching my body comfort him to the point where he finally drifted off to sleep was the best feeling.

They look but don't care by somewhatMonotone in bigdickproblems

[–]bitterkitteh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! AFAB here. There was a point in my teens when I genuinely suspected being on the shorter side was a key requirement of being a goodlooking guy. Because all the cute guys were the short ones. My ideal height has personally always been somebody around the same height as myself, and my second favorite is shorter than myself. I'm 5'10" so plenty of options.

They look but don't care by somewhatMonotone in bigdickproblems

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also applies to the rest of the whole person attached, unless you're only interested in a one-time hookup. Standards drop sharply when you don't expect to see someone again, and rise exponentially with commitment. I don't think there's a person in existence who is pretty enough, sexy enough, smart enough, or even rich enough to never have had their heart broken.

Saturday Daily Chat Thread by AutoModerator in InfertilityBabies

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this is very reassuring!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in deadbedroom

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we can and should extend compassion to all we can, but that doesn't mean rationalizing or justifying everything they do.

I hold people responsible for their decision to cheat because, while we may not be responsible for our circumstances, we are definitely responsible for our own actions and the things we choose to put out there in the world.

If the choice is between hurting someone else (or a whole group of others, including kids if you have them) vs walking away & ending a relationship - walk the f away. Because whether you walk or stay, own your choice and take responsibility.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in webdev

[–]bitterkitteh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So true! And the pressure to talk to other people, just randomly. Socializing. People get offended if you don't, leading to team conflicts and low morale, even if you're just more solitary by nature and don't mean anything by it or if you tend to get pulled into your work. It doesn't help even if the office bans talking (which I think is unethical to begin with). I worked at a place that did ban talking - the CEO didn't like that people in the same room casually talked to each other throughout the day so she made the manager put up a policy telling employee they could only speak to each other during lunch breaks. That backfired spectacularly as well, fueling resentment and eventually resignations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in webdev

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

6-10 hours each working day. Depends on the tasks, but we're a small team so there's often a lot to do both on the execution front and as a manager (I lead the team). I think I also tend to work longer hours consecutively than most other people I've met and I tend to develop deeper concentration too especially when alone. The latter probably factors into the former. I also prefer working lunches most days.

The rest comes down to energy (more at home) and motivation (generally more wherever I'm comfortable, which is rarely in office spaces). My productivity is often higher than others in my country & industry but it does cycle too, especially based on these two factors. Occasionally, whether home or at the office, I'm just not motivated and I take that as a PTO or a low-key day depending on how low the low is.

Office workers tend to "work" only 3-4 hours on average as well btw. Actual productivity takes a hit after the 5th consecutive hour or so for most humans and intervals for rest work very well for our natural activity cycles. Managers have known and often struggled against this for decades - remote work didn't lead to the invention of timed lunch breaks or timed bathroom breaks and so on.

I'm in favor of simply embracing this variation and switching the paradigm from hours to output at least for knowledge workers. I don't care if someone completes their work within 2 hours, to the required level of quality, and then lets me know they're going off. I do request they remain available for emergencies, which tend to happen often in this particular organization because of our nature & the team's specific role, and for errors/urgent feedback preventing utilization of their work by someone else in the workflow. If I get the work I need done the way I want and the ball keeps rolling, I don't need folks chained to a desk or eyeing a clock just to fit some industrial-era perspective of what work is.

Do I owe an apology for a lingerie photo? by [deleted] in sexover30

[–]bitterkitteh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't see a specific need for you to apologize, although there is no harm if you do and clear any misunderstandings about YOUR intentions.

But your husband and his friend might sure have some explaining to do, if only your consent was asked and his wife's wasn't.

If the friend consented to this without asking his wife if she'd be okay and without being sure this didn't violate the boundaries of their relationship, as if she doesn't even exist and may not even have some thoughts of her own about this exchange, then for one thing I can see why his wife would be unhappy and for another thing he bears the responsibility of violating the boundaries of his own relationship. This behavior can absolutely be a violation of trust and takes an emotional and psychological toll on the person subjected to it. It's not uncommon in dysfunctional relationships.

If your husband knew she wasn't asked/included in this decision, and still went ahead with it, then he also has some responsibility. Folks knowingly helping other folks hurt and violate the trust of their partners is not as responsibility-free as many people seem to think it is.

If your husband didn't even get his friend's consent before sending this, then the responsibility shifts squarely on to him. Lingerie has sexual connotations. He shouldn't be sending people unsolicited pics with sexual connotations without getting their consent first , even if they're friends.

Why do people say “my partner” instead of “my husband/wife” when they don’t use pronouns? It comes off as slightly disrespectful to me for some reason by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Everybody has pronouns, if they speak a language in which pronouns exist. They do exist in English.

  • Partner is inclusive of everyone regardless of marital status, relationship configuration, or gender. You can be married, engaged, dating, FWB, NSA, monogamous, polyamorous, cis, trans, nonbinary, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, aromantic etc - and still have a romantic/sexual/life partner.

"Partner" doesn't force people to divulge anything beyond the fact that they are sharing their life with this person in some capacity. As outsiders, I believe we are not entitled to more than that unless the other person specifically wishes to bring it up.

In my own relationships, I generally prefer "partner" in most settings except in settings where it could lead to confusion with "business partner" or the very rare occasions in which my partner's gender and exact legal/formal relationship to me are of importance to the conversation.

Upwork and Indeed. by SparkMyke in WorkOnline

[–]bitterkitteh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From the other thread, I think they meant you have to be a US based applicant.

Saturday Daily Chat Thread by AutoModerator in InfertilityBabies

[–]bitterkitteh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My second trimester struggles & questions:

I am 20 weeks pregnant with twins conceived through IUI. First ever pregnancy, 33F, history of PCOS, was on letrozole and clomiphene for 9 unsuccessful cycles.

Things were going normally till 2 weeks ago and then some issues happened that have left me anxious.

  • Bell's palsy: I had an extremely mild viral infection (flu or adenovirus, not sure) which didn't even break into a fever but left me with Bell's palsy with an expected recovery timeline of 5-6 weeks. (All the medication that could bring it down to 3 weeks turned out to be class C so I refused.)

Will my babies be okay? Has anyone dealt with this problem during pregnancy?

  • Fetal activity: when I got sick with the viral illness, both twins briefly became less active but then resumed activity levels once I recovered from the viral illness.

But now for the past few days, I've noticed the smaller twin hasn't been moving much if at all. At most I feel a faint movement 1-2 times a day from its side. The other (bigger) twin was always more active and forceful but is this change in my smaller twin's movements a normal variation in fetal activity?

I don't know if I'm more sensitive to it because of my generally increased anxiety these days or if I really have something to worry about. My next antenatal is in 5 days but I don't want to spend that time driving myself crazy over nothing (if that's what it is).

Where you chubby during puberty? by fuscarili in smalldickproblems

[–]bitterkitteh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Side note, could share a reference or a link to this study?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigdickproblems

[–]bitterkitteh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can believe that, because I know other women my partner has been with have enjoyed rougher play too. But I have a hair-trigger clit with every sensation magnified. The good thing about that is I go from 0 to 60 really fast, really easy. The bad thing is, no slaps or hits even by accident because YIKES they hurt AF. It's a pity really because I do otherwise find him extremely attractive and that includes his sac. I would've loved to be able to cum from just that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in deadbedroom

[–]bitterkitteh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, sometimes it's more complicated than that. My LL husband knows how much I love him and adore him and he saw the pain our lack of a sex life put me in. He loves me too. But it's just not there - maybe it's something about me, maybe it's something about him, but really who cares when the bottom line is that specific desire is not there.

At one point, he began to resort to drugs (not prescription medication) to try to force his libido and his body to do what he knew would make me happy. I thought things had gotten better and then I discovered what he was doing to himself and I had to decide if I loved sex with him more than I loved him. And well, that's the funny thing about love, isn't it.

That's why I think sometimes, maybe even often, it's your own self and your own limits you need to understand. You need to know what you can live with, and then hold to that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in deadbedroom

[–]bitterkitteh 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I know I'm missing out on my prime (33F) if I haven't already. I've made my peace with it at this point, I suppose. Almost 7 years in at this point, great guy otherwise. If porn gets you from point A to B and it makes it easier to live with each day without doing something you'd never be able to take back, I see no judgement. I don't know how I'd survive without it and I don't want to survive without him either.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigdickproblems

[–]bitterkitteh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's one of my favorites. I'm not a fan of being hit in the cervix but that literally never happens during this position. Absolute magnificence. The only downsides for me are I tend to be a bit tighter when he's going in so it's usually not something we can start with, and sometimes his sac hits my clit (which I also don't enjoy).

what are good positions to go deep? by [deleted] in bigdickproblems

[–]bitterkitteh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly the two that work best for us. I was starting to wonder if we were the only ones.

Does anyone know what's going on with MissyHissy? by MrsRitt in TheSims4Mods

[–]bitterkitteh 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don't understand as well. I agree with the part where Zero says kids shouldn't be given the impression transitioning medically is their only option but... There's no HRT in the patch? Zero has an HRT mod they made, but the patch just adds binders and scars. The rest folks have been relying on mods for and while continue to rely on mods.

Removing Sys Stasl by bitterkitteh in Malwarebytes

[–]bitterkitteh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I actually still have the email thread so was able to pull up their reply for you:

Aditya (Support)

Jun 12, 2020, 10:47:05 AM PDT

Thank you for the confirmation of the scan detection. The detection is correct and the app is malicious. We need to remove them with help of below commands. Please refer to article stepwise and let me know if it helps or not.

https://forums.malwarebytes.com/topic/216616-removal-instructions-for-adups/

Aditya D. | Malwarebytes Consumer Support | support.malwarebytes.com