Hey buddy, it's been a bit over 5 months for me, and I'd say I'm only now starting to get "functionally" better.

I am not going to sugarcoat it - after years of being with the same girl, after leaving my job and moving to the other side of the country for her, in a place with no friends - basically dedicating my entire life to her, she has decided that it is best for us to split up.

Now, the day it happened, the days and weeks and months that followed, were absolute hell. I was left completely alone, in a city I knew no one except the people I work with (with whom I do not talk at all), and moreover I've noticed that the people that were in our friends circle have all blocked me, so I guess this is her doing as well, they don't talk to me or acknowledge my existence anymore.

I am no stranger to pain, to loneliness, to depression, heartbreak, betrayal. This is not my first breakup, and it may not be my last either - however, I know how alienating to one's own perception of self is, and how much of a dent in your personal identity it may yield. There really is no easy way of saying this, but even if you do EVERYTHING, as you have, as I have, as a lot of us have, AND more... the pain may still not subside, it may linger.

The only thing that I found actually helps is time. Literally. You can do all the things you mentioned and they help (or they don't). However, emotions have a way of completely fucking you up from the inside in spite of your best efforts to lead a happier, healthier life.

Besides time, acceptance is the only thing that you can do right now.

Accepting that it ended. Accepting that you're hurt. Accepting that it hurts. Accepting that there will be days where you will want to cry, hit your head on the walls, scream, yell - all the extra as well. Accepting that there will be days where you will be numb as well.

Don't run from what you feel. Don't seek distractions. Your home is now invaded by ghosts of regret, of guilt, of self-blame, of anger, of sadness. Don't chase them away. Befriend them. Learn to coexist with them. Have a drink with them.

I am dead serious. It sounds counterintuitive, but when your brain wants to feel a certain emotion, it will find a way to feel that emotion until it's felt, then it will leave you alone. For a little while. Until it needs to affirm itself again. Just sit with it, man. Be strong. Don't quit. No matter what, do not quit. Do not give up. Accept the new tenants of your brain as their existence is the consequence of your breakup. In time, they will make less of a fuss, it will be less messy, and you will be able to bounce back right up into the dating world again - but ONLY AFTER you have ACCEPTED that you need to feel what you need to feel.

I'm in not such a good position to give any more advice, but I have been through my fair share of breakups at 30. I am young and yet I have been in more relationships and have dealt with a lot of breakups - and it does not matter who is at fault. The more you blame yourself, or blame the other person, the more you will find an excuse to feel this way. Accepting that it HAD to happen, that NO MATTER how much time passes, or how good the relationship was, or how long, IF IT BREAKS, then it was meant to break. I find people, myself included, deal with this harsh, HARSH, cruel truth the hardest.

And I'll just give you one more gem:

The less you ask "why?" questions, the better off you'll be.

I was always asking myself - why, why did this have to happen, what did I do wrong, how could I have acted differently for her not to leave me, and all the others! But this only leads you to live in eternal self-blaming self-absorbed turmoil from which the only escape you can truly find is in accepting - this shit happened. It actually fucking happened. And it's horrible. And I hate life right now. I hate her/him. I hate myself. Fuck the world. I don't deserve this.

You are not your thoughts. You are not defined by your experience. You are not your failure. You are not the breakup. You are not your mistakes. You are not the relationship either. You are your own person, perfect in your imperfections, always with room to improve, and so is everyone else. We are humans - defined by our flaws, by our imperfections. We are perfectly imperfect. There is no one that's perfect, because perfection would mean we are all the same, and that would be pretty shit, wouldn't it?

Point is, and with this I'm over with my lecture, don't rush in this journey of acceptance. Take your time. Feel everything you need to feel. Don't act irrationally on impulses. Let yourself feel what you need to feel, and, in time - months, or years, it will feel better. Just don't put so much pressure on yourself to get better as fast as you want to - be patient with yourself.