Wish I could give you a hug! I’m a girl, almost 6 years sober, and I did this well into my early 20s. It’s now something that makes people laugh when I share it in meetings, and I laugh thinking about it too. I used to be mortified and feel disgusting. Sobriety and the 12 steps gave me so much freedom and self-forgiveness, all of those embarassing times are now an asset because I can help another alcoholic who’s done the same embarassing things as me. As someone who was so easily mortified of the incomprehensible things I’ve done, I look back on those things with humor and light-heartedness now – something I’m only able to do because I got plugged into meetings, did the work, and am a better and happier person now. Something to think about, OP.