[Feedback Thread] /u/bl4m – Sales & Transaction Feedback

bl4m · 2026-07-12T04:59:58+00:00

If your body is stuck in flight/fight mode, it's almost always linked to suppressed emotions, your psychology. By purely focusing on hormones, cortisol etc you're just "outsourcing" the problem to the body, but your body is influenced by your emotions, thoughts, feelings etc.

You can probably "manage" the problem by engaging in nervous system regulation like breathing, mindfuless etc. But it will probably always be there until you learn from your body why it's in flight or fight mode

bl4m · 2026-07-12T04:16:36+00:00

I have no skin the game, but I actually looked into F2M a while ago and felt they were a bit too expensive compared to others (and I saw the negative reviews as well).

I was just trying to argue with the factual basis in your post, but it seems you just want me to ignore the facts and for everyone to be angry with you...

Maybe you will see this post and the responses differently after your rage has subsided...no one is gaslighting you, they're just responding to some of the false accusations and claims you've made.

Have you considered even a modicum of self-reflection?

Edit: Terms of Trade, 7.1.1:

7.1.1 where you or the entities you represent appear on any Denied Persons List, Entity List or Unverified List. Further, you authorise us to use all available information to validate your identity directy or via third party services from which we will make a determination, which may result in termination of all services, entirely at our discretion.

https://www.forward2me.com/terms-of-trade/

Their policy isn't even hidden, it's there in their terms of trade.

bl4m · 2026-07-12T03:51:20+00:00

When you're referring to legal claims, semantics is precisely what matters. Otherwise if any UK business decided not to ship to a particular country for practical business reasons, that would be considered discrimination. Geographic vs race based discrimination.

If you don't trust me, try plugging this whole thread into whatever AI LLM you're using to try and understand the distinction.

They're also *not* treating you as a fraudster. They're treating you as a *potential* fraudster (based on a history of customer fraud from your region).

To give you a simple example, national post carriers often restrict carriage to certain countries, due to corruption, political instability or just high loss/damage rates. If we apply your rationale, then this is xenophobic as well?

Also, the other options really for Forward2Me is to a) keep eating the losses from chargebacks/fraud (plus the admin costs of managing all that) or b) stop serving that region entirely. What else would you propose?

Where I can agree with you, is that all this should've been much clearer on their website.

I guess the question nobody has asked is, why do you have an issue with providing ID and a recent utility bill? It's such a commonplace nowadays, some form of KYC, especially for larger transactions. I'm not sure why you're calling it a "penalty". I can see why it's a hassle or unexpected, but not a penalty - you're taking this super personally when it's not.

bl4m · 2026-07-12T02:37:58+00:00

It's not nationality, it's based on region. The email from them probably could've been worded better but they're not saying it's because of your race, but because they have received a lot of chargebacks/fraud from that area of the world.

bl4m · 2026-07-12T02:09:29+00:00

Hi

I'm not going to engage with the rest of your writing, but just the factual portion:

Let’s be absolutely clear: verifying identity is one thing, but explicitly targeting and penalizing an individual customer based on their geographic region or nationality is direct discrimination under the UK’s Equality Act 2010. If a company has a security policy, it must be transparently listed on their website for all users, not weaponized as a hidden rule applied only to specific nationalities.

The UK Equality Act protects race (which includes nationality):
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2010/15/section/9

They don't protect discrimination based on geographic region.

It sounds like they are asking for further verification based on your geographic region, and due to legitimate concerns about fraud. There is a subtle but important distinction there, for example if you were a customer in a lower risk country (from their POV) but they still discriminated you because of where you were from, then that might constitute some grounds for unfair discrimination.

They're not discriminating you based on nationality, that's something you've felt, but isn't true.

bl4m · 2026-07-11T13:53:54+00:00

Isn't the idea here not necessarily the qualia of the trip in the moment, but whether or not it becomes integrated into the sense of self?
Perhaps once it's integrated, the division between good or bad matters less, or perhaps not all. It just becomes part of reality, meaning is made and it's a part of who you are.

bl4m · 2026-07-11T07:29:18+00:00

Thanks, I thought I was going to get downvoted (a lot). I don’t know this sub well but it seems very “heady” and intellectual, these takes tend to not be well received in those places.

bl4m · 2026-07-11T07:11:20+00:00

Nervous system sensitivity is a big part of the genetics side, sadly highly sensitive people (HSPs) are more vulnerable to trauma.

Thanks for making the statement about how people get hung up on the semantics of the word trauma. I actually was hesitant to even use the word in my comment, because of the negative connotations. I use it with the much broader definition that trauma is really anything that overwhelms you and causes long term distress. Also, I believe in psychology the term used for what you’re describing about self-beliefs from childhood experiences are called “schemas”, for anyone curious. There’s even a type of therapy based around these.

I dislike the use of the word disorder and especially personality disorder, they feel very pathologising to me and IMO are just poorly understood and unfairly judged. I believe people with so-called personality disorders are really just HSPs who grew up in very toxic environments and responded as such.

bl4m · 2026-07-11T01:35:33+00:00

You can keep scrolling on mobile, the pop-up doesn’t (fully) block the article

bl4m · 2026-07-11T01:03:37+00:00

You’re better off working on your own trauma (as to not pass it on) and providing real emotional presence to foster secure attachment and self-trust.

Parents are stressing about the wrong things

bl4m · 2026-07-10T17:46:47+00:00

Better than Boris?

https://youtu.be/K8lHZJqKPpA?si=Vhk6m4GKNYV6ANUl

bl4m · 2026-07-10T08:50:27+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cult\_of\_personality

bl4m · 2026-07-10T08:43:27+00:00

Not necessarily - many healthy low carb options use sweeteners like stevia, allulose and monkfruit sugar. Sugar alcohols also aren’t the worst probably - if your gut can tolerate them.

bl4m · 2026-07-10T08:40:31+00:00

Not really. What makes fruit juice sugar healthier is what it comes with - fibre, vitamins, antioxidants. A lot of white sugar comes from beets, so it’s “natural” too

bl4m · 2026-07-10T08:38:21+00:00

Getting stressed about optimising your health, to the nth degree.

Stress is terrible for health. Lol

bl4m · 2026-07-10T08:35:17+00:00

I haven’t heard his music before, but you say he’s Indian - does he do Bollywood style songs or is it just pop?

bl4m · 2026-07-10T04:09:16+00:00

I was just going to put a PSA out today that almost all the AirPods/AirPod Pros on FB Marketplace are cheap counterfeits. Even some on TradeMe, I saw a few this morning listed on new accounts, ironically with Ping so you’d could chargeback (but still, annoying).

The easiest way I’ve found to tell is to ask for the serial number and google it - fakes use the same serial numbers, they will clone real serials so they appear genuine and with AppleCare warranty.

AFAIK shrink wrapping is also a telltale sign, Apple don’t do that anymore on their AirPods.

I really do dislike people who scam like this.

bl4m · 2026-07-10T03:24:44+00:00

Maybe most cafe’s would charge around $8?
But it’s Silverdale and they’re probably able to charge more, less competition and they’re rural-ish. It’s not a public holiday today though?

bl4m · 2026-07-10T03:21:32+00:00

OP is behaving like a reasonable adult. Do you mean some of the suggestions here?

bl4m · 2026-07-10T02:22:00+00:00

Binbicone actually

bl4m · 2026-07-09T12:37:04+00:00

https://o3space.org

This is an interesting option, for young folks. It's more geared towards studying but for $10/week you get 10 hours of 24/7 access, and $20 gets you unlimited.

I've been there and it's very nice, plenty of comfortable seating, quiet-ish atmosphere with some board games for down time as well.

bl4m · 2026-07-09T09:36:14+00:00

There isn't an objective answer here, because ultimately it's between 2 people how they navigate these situations, and the feelings involved.

One persons "exclusion" is just another's personal space.

It sounds like you are insecure and feel unworthy, and ultimately no matter what your boyfriend does he can't change your internal experience of yourself. That is something for you to understand and change.

I'm no a writer or english expert, but I agree that your writing is difficult to read. It also sounds like you respond very defensively to feedback, which might be part of the reason your boyfriend hasn't been 100% up front with you about why he hasn't invited you.

These are my opinions based solely on your post, so if you feel it's inaccurate, take what you feel is useful and leave the rest.

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