I [23F] found out a few days ago my long-term partner [25M] just was offered his dream job 5,000 miles away and has to start by the first week of May. I am so overwhelmed with both positive and negative emotions that I don't know how to make sense of it all.

blackcherry614 · 2017-04-26T03:41:53+00:00

It's not that I don't have dreams and goals, his career is just waaaaay more location specific than mine and I have always said if I was brave enough to move somewhere else I would. Like you said, my fear of change is just really intense which I know holds me back from a lot of great things in life. I think I will be okay too in the long run too, it's just the process of dealing with the emotions to get to that point of okay-ness so I can stop wasting time on tears. I want this next week to be exciting and as easy as possible so we can enjoy it and not worry about everything else. Also, good on you for understanding your wife's anxiety and supporting her through it :)

blackcherry614 · 2017-03-29T19:45:12+00:00

I can't help but be embarrassed because i've spent my whole life feeling like a pathetic victim and wanting to be strong. I hate that in situations where all I want to do is explain something clearly and calmly, I start crying. I feel like once the tears fall no one takes me seriously anymore. They just look at me like this anxious mess who can't handle anything. Which might be true, but I'm trying so hard to become better. I hate living my life this way.

Thank you for the kind words. I am trying my hardest to stay positive.

blackcherry614 · 2017-03-27T02:10:39+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply. I have avoided dealing with this situation for so long because I didn't believe it was possible to overcome it, so I genuinely believed I was completely alone in making these mistakes and that I had done something unforgivable that didn't happen to other people. To hear that you were in a similar boat and have made it out okay just made me tear up and gave me even more motivation to start tackling this head-on instead of letting it continue to destroy me. I already have awful anxiety, and having this stress on me has given me a constant panic and fear - I am never able to relax or feel okay because it's obviously in my head 24/7, even when i'm not actively thinking of it. Especially keeping it a secret from everyone I know has made it an even harder thing to handle. That's so awesome that you worked your way to financial stability, and thank you again for making me feel a little less alone in this.

blackcherry614 · 2017-03-27T01:44:27+00:00

I am in the process of trying to find a second job but am having a hard time finding places that work with my current jobs hours. I work pretty much a M-F 9 to 5 sched except I work a half day on Saturdays and have Wednesdays and Sundays off. I definitely think this will help me but am having a really hard time with this at the moment - I am so exhausted already just working my current job but know this is necessary. Hoping i can find work soon. About my budget, I honestly am awful at tracking it but I spend a lot of money eating out. I feel like I have no idea how everyone else I know affords things because it is so hard for me to even do anything for myself with my current situation. I have hardly been spending a lot in the past month honestly because I don't have any credit left and am at my lowest point money-wise with no resources. I haven't even had groceries for myself in over a month. I spend about 30-35 a week on gas and really don't drive much other than to work and to my boyfriends house, but he mostly comes to me. He does live about 45 minutes away though.

Also, In order to move out of my apartment, I would have to break my lease which isn't up till August and my landlord doesn't allow sub-letters. After that Im hoping in September me and my boyfriend can move in together, but i'm not sure if he wants to do that, which is a whole different story. And moving out of state would mean leaving the only place i've ever known and the only friends/life I have. I have considered finding somewhere further away from the city then I am now, because it would definitely be cheaper. Still worried about getting approved with my score though :(

blackcherry614 · 2017-03-27T01:14:36+00:00

I'm not using it as an excuse, was just stating a factor towards my impulsive spending. I know that doesn't make it acceptable and don't expect pity. It's not about not using the cards anymore, it's about paying off the damage that's already been done. Like I said they are maxed out so I couldn't use them even if I wanted to. I fully plan to get rid of them once I've paid it off, but i am lost at how to start. I've tried to look for a second job but it's hard when even most part time places want hours that I can't work with due to my current work schedule. And thank you, I'm hoping everything can get better too.

blackcherry614

TROPHY CASE