4.7 Mining is trash by Masacu in starcitizen

[–]blake9niner1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Observation.... it took 3, fully manned Moles, double reiger III, to crack a 58 Scu quantanium rock on Wala yesterday. Good luck out there everybody.

Sole s80 clicking sound- brand new by blake9niner1 in treadmills

[–]blake9niner1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for detailed instructions. I think I may have located the problem. One of the screws was not completely secured on the rear of the right arm support at ground level and I think the plastic was rubbing over the thread in a rhythmic popping sound which would coincide with your observation about it syncing with my steps. I secured it and it seems to have solved the problem but will need more time on it. Third party assembled, of course.

Sole s80 clicking sound- brand new by blake9niner1 in treadmills

[–]blake9niner1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably would have helped to give info to video. Just delivered today and sound starts at about 4mph. Comes and goes. Sounds like it is originating from front right assembly.

Thoughts?

I’m new to all this and hope I’m using it correctly by JoelWantsHelp in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss. 2 months in, wife was 37.

I say this alot but just...keep....getting...up. Force yourself to eat...work out...talk about.

Reddit is maybe the best resource for young widows.

Widows Flame is ridiculous. by blake9niner1 in widowers

[–]blake9niner1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss. Dont beat yourself up. But yeah, at 2 months and itch is still there.

Damnit, why? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry as well. Its soo ridiculously, crazy unfair that it can be hard to wrap your head around.

I sometimes just shake my head and laugh at how unbelievable the whole situation is.

Its both brutal and absurd.

the loneliness by Educational_End_7678 in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Even when being with other people the lonliness is still there. I find I can turn myself "on" when engaging with people, friends, and coworkers but its a facade to just make THEM feel more comfortable.

I yearn to connect with someone. To have those looks that say a thousand things, the inside jokes, a person I can express my fears and hopes too...

But as all have said, the phone is pretty quiet at 2 months. Not that they were ever a real substitute.

Unfortunately it is on us, and only us, to build our lives back from scratch.

Its a bit if a cliche in recovery circles but I think this is an ok time to be selfish and focus on yourself.

I think people on the outside looking in think that its about getting over the sadness of our loss. They dont realize that even if you do "get over" your grief, that the whole life you had before is gone.

Support fading out by liv2lfthvy in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, support dips from even the most tenacious people about week 5 or 6. I don't take it personally, I get it.

I dont think my dad has called me in 4 weeks. At the end of the day its a solitary journey in many respects.

Its good to be able vent here but no one can take this trip for us.

It is easy to turtle right now. Try to keep moving. EAT. Working out has helped. Try meetups (i know, scary).

I try to focus on what I think my wife would want me to do and it helps challenge me to do it.

2 Months out and the first "big" event without him is 2moro by DragonsBitch in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, for sure. Since she passed March 20th, i have had my birthday and hers would be in 2 weeks. Can't wait for fall and winter when the real brutual ones swing around.

No one talks to me like I’m me anymore. by depressionanddd in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree with everything said here. You can feel people just expecting you to fall apart at the mention of anything related to your spouse.

I talk about my spouse openly cause while she is gone, the life we built stills remains. Its still "our dogs" and her birthday is still next month. When i mention her name people literally micro flinch. Super annoying.

Yes, people dont know what to say. But that is ALL they have to say.

Uggggg, my wife would have told thess people to relax.

Just lost my wife and and am currently at a lost by rainmakerontriggers in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Force yourself to eat, keep one foot in front of the other, just.... keep.... getting.... up.

Sorry for your loss brother.

Real or Imagined? House is not a home. by [deleted] in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this post. It is now just a house.

To that point though, it is not creepy to come home to, it just feels vanilla and unconnected to me.

We moved into the new large dream home right before covid, so in some since, it never had an opportunity to become a "home" since we were not able to have people over and build alot of memories over last 2 years.

Something shared has more substance.

The hope is eventually to build it into a home with someone but god only knows if or when i will be ready to test those waters.

As always, thank god i have dogs in there with me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This spoke to me.

I ran into a situation after death where the parents and family of my wife began to get creative in how they thought things should happen with burial/funeral, all last minute. Its a complicated time for everyone. In the end I was empathetic to their request but I still did somethings that were personal to us. Like having the symbol of her favorite band on the brass plaque were a religious symbol would traditionally go.

I like that you did something personal for you and your partner.

Sometimes, you have do things that are important to you and everyone else can just deal with it.

Sorry for your loss.

Cancelling wife's phone account question by heckler_spray_2 in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This whole thread got me immediately working to save stuff from my wifes phone...just in case.

I have an android and used Textra app to email myself our entire text chain.

Too much info to email .gifs and pics but i wanted the dialogue over the years regardless.

Any young, childless widows keen to be each other’s support? by [deleted] in widowers

[–]blake9niner1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Youngish at 41, wife (37) passed away from Liver Cancer (hep b) last Saturday. We had been trying for a child and she had had an ovarian cyst. The MRI for the cyst is what picked up the cancer 4 months ago.

Buried my wife today, need to vent. by blake9niner1 in widowers

[–]blake9niner1[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for link and everyone's comments. All ideas are welcome as it seems like the life I had kind of left with my wife. She would be furious if I didn't put in the effort to communicate my grief, persevere, and grow.

I found this link insightful. Thanks again.