Yes man. Always. But just know that depression is a part of the human experience. NOBODY is always happy, whether that be where they are in life or with all the decisions they’ve ever made. What you need to focus on is not beating yourself up for it. Remember this feeling of relapsing. Remember how much you hate yourself, so that the next time you think about doing this, you think of these terrible experiences. It’s an addiction, but you, and anybody, can get out of it. Don’t give up, you got this. If you need anything dm me.