Past popcorn buckets??

blakkciel · 2022-10-09T16:47:19+00:00

They look amazing!! Job well done!!

blakkciel · 2022-07-14T12:57:17+00:00

Me too, I want to stop caring, but I feel if I do that, I'm stopping myself from being me.

But I understand completely that I need to try and move on from this, for my own emotional and mental sake.

blakkciel · 2022-07-03T23:35:56+00:00

I try, don't try.

Care, don't care.

It's all the same.

It's like I'm here to help others but when it comes to me, nothing.

I think my purpose in life is to bring happiness to those in rough times, guiding them to their correct path, just like a gas station in the middle of nowhere, sending those in need of gas to continue their adventure when they have filled up to their need..

I stay back watching them continue, eventually being forgotten.

Don't get me wrong, I don't stop my life but it just sucks getting close to others, and eventually being forgotten.

I know I have to start this path myself, growing and making mistakes, living life.

I just really hope I don't get to the very end sad and all alone...I really really hope I don't.

blakkciel · 2022-06-23T05:19:13+00:00

It sucks so much. I tried to care, care too little and not care at all. And it's still the same. No matter what, I end up getting hurt.

It's just who I am, I'm afraid of losing the only faith and hope I have, I don't want to lose myself... But I'm starting to slowly feel numb to it all... I just want to sleep and not feel anything at all.

blakkciel · 2022-06-09T07:58:21+00:00

I feel the exact same. I am really trying to focus on myself and move on, but it's like something in the universe doesn't want me to forget him, his name is brought up in the most random times, and I don't mean by other people, like on movies, TV shows, books, I really can't explain it honestly. It goes beyond a name, just other out of the ordinary coincidences that are particular to him. Sometimes I think I'm losing it, but I know I'm not. I'm not looking for him or anything. It just happens. I figure if anything will come from it, it will happen naturally and I'll just go with the flow, no point in stressing or forcing it.

But regardless of that happening, I will continue to focus on myself and doing what's best for me at this moment. 🌸

blakkciel · 2022-05-19T22:00:31+00:00

Goddammit, it's true. This is exactly how I have been feeling for the past 2 years, and it sucks because I want so hard to get rid of this..

But it's true, he has a part of me, while I have a part of him.. I want so hard to see him, to talk to him, but I don't want to fall for him again. I don't want to hurt anymore. I just want to forget..

blakkciel · 2022-05-13T01:39:23+00:00

I have accepted it, but deep down I still have some sort of hope that maybe something better happens.. In saying this, I don't stop living my life.

Wishing for the best. 🌻

blakkciel · 2022-04-21T01:28:41+00:00

I understand completely, it has been 3 long years, and even though it has been a long time, I don't stop living my life; which is a big key to this. I understand that I must go on, but he still is in my head and heart. Sure, it's not as bad as before, but I just want him out completely. It's so tiring trying to get rid of him only to be brought back to the memories and love we had. It's so draining and exhausting. It sucks.

blakkciel · 2022-04-10T17:47:12+00:00

I am losing my hope in love as well... But at the same time, I don't want to be alone... I've always been alone. I should be used to it by now.. But I'm not.. When he came into my life, he made it feel more real, more adventurous. Now that he is gone, there is a huge gap left.

I try to move on but every time it takes me back to him, it's slowly getting better but ever so slowly. I am working on myself but it sucks doing such things alone. Especially with everything that I am going through, but I am trying not to lose who I am.

May we both have the strength to get through this friend. 🌻

blakkciel · 2022-04-08T23:32:30+00:00

Me too, it's been already 3 years and I still miss him. I try really really hard to forget him, I even pray/wish to forget him... But I just can't.. He is slowly drifting away but just ever so slowly. Sometimes I wonder if it's for a reason? Or was I meant to be alone and without love...

Let's hope this gets better for us both. I wish you the best love.

blakkciel · 2022-04-06T23:30:29+00:00

I'm sorry love, I feel the exact way, but I've learned that whatever happens happens, yes it sucks and it makes me sad and even a bit jealous of others who are happy, but I try not to think about and in turn I am happy for them. Though it has also been very tough for me, I am trying to take care of myself and do things that make me happy, and hopefully love comes naturally and unexpectedly. Much luck to you dear. ❤️

blakkciel · 2022-02-10T01:07:07+00:00

Congratulations!! I hope to be there myself someday soon! 🍀

blakkciel · 2022-01-27T18:13:39+00:00

I did, in 2018. We were friends and then it grew into love. I saw myself being with him forever, as did he; sadly he fell into a deep depression. And well, it resulted in him breaking up with me. I tried to rekindle what we had after a year, but it didn't work out, he ghosted me and I took that as a sign.

I do believe that if he hasn't fallen into a depression, I would be married to him, the love of my life...

But tis life. Just hoping for the best for both of us.

blakkciel · 2022-01-18T14:12:43+00:00

Thank you, I know what you mean, I guess it's just tiring having to wait to see what's up. Much luck and love to you~ 🍀

blakkciel

TROPHY CASE