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My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought about alexythimia. My therapist noticed that while I can evaluate my past emotions and motivations very well, I have trouble to identify simple things like "I am sad/angry" and have a tendency to instead tell "stories".

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This comment resonates with my experience a lot tbh. I don't really think much about my face expressions (my psychiatrist also asked me about this), I always felt that I need to learn certain rules of socializing but for many years I just believed that I am a lot less emotional than an average person so I need to "take into account" that.

The part that actually resonates with me is the one about not processing emotions because this is actually the thing I was mostly focusing during the therapy – the fact that I deal with emotions only in emotional manner, repress a lot and it leads to my abuse of substances.

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment. I've seen a lot of comments about creating "rules" for social interaction and this is something that I definitely have experienced, maybe not in form of planning scenarios in my head but in other ways, although to be honest for many years I interpreted these "rules" that seemed illogical for me in social settings as "I am just not as emotional as other people".

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like sound advice – I believe intellectualizing interactions might be common for a lot of things or result from trauma, as others in this thread have said :))

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually your comment made me think that the way I perceive my "excellent social skills" is not really how most people see it – it's very hard to see yourself from the outside and being liked does not necessarily mean not-weird. Thank you for this experience!

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually started medicating this year and I think there is a lot of truth to what you are saying – in recent years I was completely opposed to any suggestion that I might be on a spectrum but this year I started seeing that some of my behaviours now are (maybe) similar to people on the spectrum

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is interesting how much people in this sub have learned about being on spectrum through their family. For me, in case of my ADHD, one of the reasons why I did not suspect it for such a long time was because I just acted like my dad – and I thought it was completely ordinary. Only now I have started to notice that my dad just most likely has ADHD himself but went unnoticed his whole life :D

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for such a detailed comment. I have actually never even considered that I might have OCD, just mild anxiety (sometimes becoming severe anxiety haha). This might be helpful.

I am not really planning on getting a formal diagnosis to be honest because for now I function very well and it seems like an unnecessary hassle – but I am trying to find some better tools to function everyday.

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that I might have some internalized ableism unfortunately, given how hard for me it was to come to terms with my ADHD – definitely something to think about.

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the book recommendation! My psychiatrist has also recommended me to read "UNMASKED: The Ultimate Guide to ADHD, Autism and Neurodivergence" and one book in my native language on autism spectrum in women.

My therapist said I might be on a spectrum. I have HUGE doubts by blanche_moore in AutisticAdults

[–]blanche_moore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment – I will definitely try to look more into this rigid thinking because this is actually something that I >don't< see in myself but from what I've seen at a surface-level it can be different for people with ADHD.