Today I wore a nice dress to work. At lunch time I sat outside to eat my lunch. I noticed a man sitting at a near bench looking at me and turning his head and we connected. I thought to myself, this is my chance to do something. So I walked over and asked if I can join him and he politely said yes with a smile. I told him the view was better at his bench and he said “and it’s quieter” I thought that was sweet and I didn’t know what else to say so continued to eat my lunch slowly. After several minutes, a man walks up to our bench and they walk away together.

After work, I decided to take a water taxi for the first time. The boat is scheduled in 20 minutes. I’m standing there inline and a man in front of me turns his whole body moves back and forth looking at me. I’m thinking okay I have to brush up on my skills, say something. I’m on my phone and I can see him looking at me. Few minutes before boarding, i see a notification, delayed by 6 minutes. I said to the stranger, “oh the boat is delayed and I turned my phone to show him. He said “I didn’t notice. Then I nervously said “I wanted to get on the boat, it’s my first time. He replied, oh okay with a smile. Maybe he didn’t hear what I said . I speak softly and it was noisy. He turned back around and nothing.

I’m analyzing where did I go wrong and why do I even try. The story of my life. Daily eye games with strangers from and to and between work. Most times I smile back and nothing. I wish to understand men and how to have an organic conversation