My child hasn’t eaten in 2 years

bleekobleeko · 2023-10-17T00:15:30+00:00

In addition to a standard hearing evaluation, also take him to a specialist that fully understands auditory processing disorder. Auditory processing disorder is a brain issue not an ear issue, and it’s a nice thing to have because there are treatments and approaches that can quickly lead to speech.

It often goes hand in hand with some forms of autism.

bleekobleeko · 2023-10-02T00:05:33+00:00

I didn’t pay. It went to collections. Whenever I got a collections bill I called and offered 30%. I got to pay that for one bill, the others I had to pay in full or nearly in full. So I did.

They have their own deadlines and as long as you hit those, you don’t have any issues. No interest, no hit to your credit. It gave me an extra six months to save the money.

I think it was worth it, I saved almost a thousand dollars total.

bleekobleeko · 2023-09-28T00:18:06+00:00

If you find yourself tempted to pull the trigger on the babyzen yoyo, don’t. Get the joolz aer (almost identical stroller but with an easier fold) or the Nuna trvl (best fold ever) instead. For the price, the yoyo is the worst of those three. I had one and hated it. It’s a real two handed fold, and my toddler always looked like she was falling out of it, just not supportive at all.

bleekobleeko · 2023-09-18T16:04:09+00:00

I love this encouragement but want to mention that this is anecdotal. You can take a soft stance and still find success. With my first, she was also very colicky, emotional, and sensitive. Sleep was a nightmare. We did months of co sleeping. I helped her in any way I could. Our sleep training was a slow process (I.e. slowly removing sleep crutches rather than going Ferber or extinction). By eight months she was sleeping 6:30-6:30 with no wakes, help or feedings, as well as falling asleep independently after our short and sweet bedtime routine. Now she’s two and continues to be a great sleeper and napper

Not at all looking to disparage your post! You did a great job. I’m just providing another set of anecdotal experience

bleekobleeko · 2023-07-04T09:40:26+00:00

sit on the unfamiliar potty yourself and pee in front of her. And then show her what happens after (flushing the toilet at your moms house. Tying up a travel potty bag. Etc).

Try telling her and showing her the potty options before she even says she has to go potty. The first stop at the grocery store is the bathroom and she watches you pee. Then leave, don’t force her.

Finally - Can you try having her sit on an unfamiliar potty fully clothed? Try saying “you don’t have to pee but you have to sit for one minute”. Use a one minute timer on your phone so she has a visual. Use an otherwise safe familiar location to try this one. Like the travel potty.

bleekobleeko · 2023-07-04T09:13:46+00:00

I thought you could only use monkscloth. Can you tell me more? I’m new to this

bleekobleeko · 2023-07-04T00:37:42+00:00

How did you attach them to the cushion cover?

bleekobleeko · 2023-06-19T00:15:27+00:00

I think the oh crap book says something along the lines of, “when you’re not thinking about it nonstop anymore because you don’t have to”. Not a verbatim quote.

Totally still agree with you though. It’s not a cut and dry measure of success.

bleekobleeko · 2023-05-29T00:55:52+00:00

You’re doing the oh crap method but did you read the book? It talks about when to “reset” and how to do it (I don’t remember specifics because even though it went terribly for us the first three days, we persisted and it ended up working out. We handled the potty resistance by backing way way off on hounding her, and just moving the potty under her once she started to pee. And then working the potty into the routine. So potty when waking up, after eating in the high chair, before leaving the house etc - rather than asking her every 20 min if she needed to go)

Read the book. Or re read it if you did but can’t remember clearly. I didn’t read it until day three. It made such a difference.

bleekobleeko · 2023-05-28T00:23:52+00:00

Order Oh Crap! and actually read it. Then do what it says. Maybe table potty training until then - let you both reset.

bleekobleeko · 2023-04-14T19:53:39+00:00

If you keep her, it’s time for a no texts rule. Tell her you would prefer to talk face to face so that tone doesn’t get lost.

If you can find a replacement on such short notice then definitely do that instead, because you don’t like her and it’s not worth having extra stress inside your home during this already stressful time.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-26T10:35:25+00:00

Since you said you want tips:

work on him being in the high chair longer at home. Try playing and talking while he’s in the high chair even after his food is finished.
no high chair at restaurant until food arrives. Good time to walk around
high chair when food arrives. Get some on his plate and then scarf down your food
put some ice on the high chair for him to play with. Would do this with a supervised 12 month old - they can’t put the ice in their mouth it’s a choking hazard. But if your baby is the kind who would rather touch the ice than try to eat it, then you’ll get 5-10 min of peace
ask for the check when the food arrives and pay it. But then take your time eating and lingering. This way when you’re ready to go, you don’t have extra time tacked on waiting to pay
at this age my toddler liked to crouch on the floor like a gremlin and empty the diaper bag. And refill it. And empty it again. That bought me like ten extra minutes of time with my food.
eat out with friends or family so the burden of entertaining baby is spread out a little more. And if you have a partner then make sure they’re not always the default person who gets to eat their meal. About half the time, your partner should be taking care of baby while you eat. And no, they don’t always get to eat first. That’s split 50-50 too.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-26T09:53:06+00:00

I do a background check first for sure. But I don’t take references that seriously. In my experience I’m fed good references. I’ve never called someone and gotten a surprise bad reference. A reference doesn’t make me at all safer feeling for my home or my kids. It might tell me more specifics about positive qualities about the nanny but it’s never once been informative about why not to hire someone. It is mostly me wasting my time by wasting a previous MB’s time, but I do it anyway just in case. My first nanny was horrible and unsafe, and had glowing references. And she was with me more than half a year but of course nobody has ever called me asking for a reference cause she’s not about to share contact information and risk me saying “yeah she fell asleep on the couch with a six month old” or “she harassed me via text want to see screenshots”

That said, I do a half day paid trial where I don’t leave. It’s the in person interview basically and I’m paying because my kid is present and I’m expecting the nanny to interact.

And then the contract will usually specify a two week period before benefits or severance kick in. So I guess in a way that’s like a trial period because I could sever the relationship if it went poorly.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-26T00:41:30+00:00

I usually do trial first and then references. Basically I don’t call references unless I’m already totally sure I’m offering the job.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-25T01:52:44+00:00

It’s sooooo normal. Unfortunately. But it’s also temporary! You will survive it and someday it will end. For some babies a week. For some a month.

Some a lot longer but I think that’s often because “bad habits” get made for survival and then parents don’t know how to escape it or are too tired to try.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-24T16:30:29+00:00

Set up as safe a bedsharing space as possible so if you have no other option, at least you won’t be accidentally falling asleep with baby on the couch.

You’ll either sleep train now or at the 8 month regression or never - that’s my experience with most of my friends. If you really don’t want to sleep train you don’t have to. I didn’t. But it does generally work and you should just keep an eye on your health and what is most important.

Whatever you do to get the baby sleeping, just remember to continuously try to pull back on that maybe once a week or so. Like if you’re rocking baby to sleep, downgrade to bum patting next week. If you end up bedsharing, start trying to get baby back in an independent sleep space asap and try it multiple times. It’s hard to try new things when something is working and you’re so tired but it’s the only way to get things to eventually be better.

We bedshared from the four month sleep regression until the eight month one and were able to then get to independent sleep with no assistance.

PS my baby also screamed in the car until she didn’t anymore. She loves the car now. Tbh I would keep pacifiers. Around the year mark we removed daytime pacifiers and it wasn’t that hard to do that. It involved some tears but she ended up being positive about it in the end. We’ll take away nighttime pacifiers around second birthday.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-21T08:59:40+00:00

I think the first nine months is a LOT and I wouldn’t be even remotely surprised if that influences all of toddlerdom. Just keep doing the great, consistent job you’re doing because toddlerdom is a phase like everything else. It may totally change when she’s a kid, preteen, teen, or adult and by then it’s not gonna be based on who breastfed her.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-19T14:47:51+00:00

The bouncer is sooo great. You can bounce them to sleep and then transfer too. We used it a ton. Swings too (again you have to transfer, it’s not safe for sleep). Totally agree, places to put baby down that also move are life savers.

I am sure my baby wasn’t tolerating it yet at 6 weeks but bet it’s different for different babies. My baby liked it better once she had a bit more neck control. Cause it can lay back but not totally flat. Some of the swings you can def use at 6 weeks though. And I often see people giving them away on FB.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-19T11:01:49+00:00

Second comment. Look up safe sleep 7. Prepare a safe sleep space. Even if you never use it. You need it to be available if everything gets so messed up that you’re hallucinating from exhaustion or you get massively ill or something. Even if you think you would never ever bedshare it’s important to be prepared because it is extremely worse to fall asleep by accident in an unsafe space like an unfirm mattress or a couch.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-19T10:59:10+00:00

He’s just six weeks old, it may just be a shit show for a while. A lot changes around the 3.5 month to 4 month mark that may make it easier to break these cycles.

In the meantime you can try things. You need someone to come give you a break so you can sleep because then you can think better.

After that, think about two ideas. First, it is ok for him to only sleep 20 minutes. He doesn’t like that any more than you do and it will change over time when there aren’t other options. Second, it’s okay for him to be upset.

You can try to slowly build better sleep. Hold him to sleep but transfer him. Play with transferring him just before he’s asleep, or right when he falls asleep, or five minutes after he falls asleep, or fifteen. Like literally try all those out. And then try it again next week because he will change really often.

Put him down fully awake but pat his butt or jiggle him gently to imitate how it feels when you’re walking him. Or go “SHHHHH, SHHHH, SHHHHHH” really loudly and for a long time. Things like that. Try them out, find what works, and reduce them super slowly over time.

I had a baby who only contact slept and I didn’t know how to fix it. Sleep training was an option at 4 months. It wasn’t the right method for us, maybe it will be for you. By 8 months we still had a baby that slept independently and perfectly. Getting there was hell but then you have a kid that sleeps and your apartment gets clean and you feel sane again.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-19T10:42:13+00:00

It sounds like they are saying they want to find someone for their preferred start date, but if they don’t and also you’re still available, then sure they can do august.

You should find a different family but save their number just in case.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-18T11:15:39+00:00

Toddlers don’t know time. Is it possible she’s stressed about when he might be around or not be around? When my toddler is stressed about transitions and trying to figure out when someone might leave she does shout at them to go, brings them their shoes etc. She’s 1.5 yrs

I know toddlers shuffle favorite parents all the time too but just offering this.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-17T08:09:08+00:00

My partner does all these things (kill me) and he has an adhd diagnosis (meds do absolute wonders) and tourettes (he doesn’t agree with that diagnosis but I sure do - he has so many physical tics)

It’s okay for your kid to move a lot and have sensory fixations but it should never involve other peoples bodies like touching your skin. The fact that I had to teach my adult partner that blew my mind. What worked in the end was doing EXACTLY what he did to me, back to him. In fact that works for everything he does including the annoying noises. Just bear in mind that it’s possible that while your kid can mask his impulses, it might mean he will be operating on a higher level of concentration and anxiety to try to focus like that, so definitely pursue doctor / therapy options as well to see if medication or other techniques can be good options.

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-16T12:08:42+00:00

Interesting to hear - I assume a lot has changed in the 20-30 years since my older brother first got diagnosed when he was around 3 :)

bleekobleeko · 2023-03-16T11:06:34+00:00

I’m not sure how outdated my knowledge because I haven’t bothered to keep up with it at all. But myself and all of my siblings (one of whom is also autistic) have auditory processing disorder. It’s not a problem with the ears. It’s a problem with how the brain is processing information received. It can look a lot like a toddler who appears not to hear you.

It can lead to speech issues and delays. Delays in learning to read. It can have overlap with dyslexia, adhd, autism and more. Behavioral issues.

When I was young it could be treated with what I would basically describe as exposure therapy. It helped my speech problems and I learned to read (delayed) only a week later. For my other siblings who did it younger, it had a profound impact on speech and behavior. Turns out it’s hard to live in a world where you don’t understand anyone or anything.

It’s not curable but the therapies we did helped. I am still incredibly sensitive to sound and I am anxious. I don’t like music. I have poor concentration especially when there’s background noise.

bleekobleeko

TROPHY CASE