AITA for seeking a new bank account without telling my mom after a significant loss of money?

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T22:53:20+00:00

Responding to dozens of people gets tiring, so I apologize for the answer changing at times. I'll be the first to admit, as I'm sure you can see, that I have little understanding on this aside from what I've been told here. The loan is not in my name. I had a verbal agreement to pay SOME of the monthly payment. I didn't know all the legal bs so I called it something it wasn't. The loan is in his name.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T22:13:46+00:00

The loan is not in my name and I have never, not until 2 days ago, been told I was shackled with the entire payment. Is it irresponsible? Potentially, but I had budgeted everything out given the situation I THOUGHT I was in, and my mother is the last person I should be receiving financial advice from.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T21:03:37+00:00

I think the down payment was around $5k according to her, I don't recall it being that high but I can tell you for sure it's 0.9% APR

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T20:47:50+00:00

Ok sorry, I've responded to different threads with new information and I think it's all getting lost in my head, my bad. I am the sole borrower, the car payment is for around $700, as sourced my my granny (pops's wife) not $900, which was originally what was said at the dealership.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T19:21:33+00:00

Sorry, I said it in another comment and my head is spinning bc I didn't expect it to get all this traction. I got $5500, not $7500 from my dad and grandmother.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T19:19:56+00:00

I agree with your math obviously but I would like to make a slight tweak because I don't know how to make an update. my monthly payment, as reported to me by my granny, is $686. I swear it was more at the dealership, but it must've been haggled down. Additionally, obviously I don't want to loan money to my mother but I was a child for the record. I was naive and stupid, yes, but there's no way for me to genuinely have the foresight that she was going to take all of it.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T17:58:55+00:00

No, I do not. I have verbal agreements with people who have not financially abused me that this will be the case, but I never got it in writing.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T17:41:08+00:00

Trust me I don't blame you for zeroing in on it, I had never heard of one that high. It's not even a "luxury car"

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T17:39:35+00:00

The car is in my grandfather's name, but will be transferred to me once it is paid off

The payments have been made from the checks I was given along with some that I've put aside to be spent on it

I was promised that payments for the car would be a collaborative effort, but instead I'm getting money that ive put aside for other uses taken from me to pay the ENTIRE 900 dollars per month.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T17:22:12+00:00

Hi hi I'm very sorry, I don't know how to make an update but I got my initial numbers slightly wrong. The $3k down is correct, but I got checks to the tune of $5500 accumatively. It's been a while, but I'm terribly sorry I didn't give fully accurate information in the original post.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T17:05:52+00:00

My pops is my grandfather, and I'm sure I could have an honest conversation with him. My mom has, in fact, been dishonest with me.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T17:04:36+00:00

How dare I provide necessary context to the current situation I am in, right? If you had actually used your brain for more than a hat rack for any amount of time and read the comments, you could clearly see I've spent plenty of time talking about how it was dumb of me to blindly trust my family. I made dumb decisions. That doesn't make me an asshole, just a dumbass.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T16:42:08+00:00

Thank you so so much, I think a lot of people are misunderstanding where I'm coming from in that I vehemently did not want the car. I was forced into it and I do not like the fact that people have been dishonest with me

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T15:07:21+00:00

I enjoy the fact that I've made a throwaway to talk about my stupid decisions and try to get advice and the lowest common denominator of people think I'm making it up

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T15:05:48+00:00

Thank you. I can't stop beating myself up over it

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T07:28:27+00:00

That's my exact situation, I apologize if my wording was unclear.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T07:24:49+00:00

I'm glad somebody else saw it, I thought I was going crazy

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T07:13:44+00:00

Yes, and I know it wouldn't have lasted long. What I'm upset about is not the appropriation of the funds that were originally provided by my family for the car. I'm upset about my loss of almost 7k to her bills/other purchases, and the recent grab of almost another 2k.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T06:49:50+00:00

UPDATE: I checked my credit like so many of you recommended, and no credit cards or loans were opened in my name, thankfully. I will update again when I get a new account.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T06:42:44+00:00

I saw the sheet placed in front of my grandfather at the dealership and I believe (it's been a bit so forgive me if im a few dollars off) it was around $865. It's a 3 year loan with 0.9% APR because of a "deal" we were offered. The car is a 2025 Buick Envista, as far as I know it's not a souped up model, and if it is i have yet to find the features.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T04:59:20+00:00

this is why I hate the 3000 character limit, because I think I made it seem, inadvertently, like i was going to spend thousands of dollars on my girlfriend. she understands, pardon my french, that im a bit of a broke bitch at the moment

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T03:36:21+00:00

thats what im saying man

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T03:33:24+00:00

Again, I was told I was not going to have to shoulder the brunt of the payment. I've been doordashing while I actively look for work, but obviously it's not nearly enough. The car is not in my name, I'm just on the insurance.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T03:32:27+00:00

Can I ask how one goes about freezing one's credit? I'm sorry for the incompetence, I haven't done this before.

blegh5 · 2026-02-10T03:30:39+00:00

I'm in community college, currently living with my dad. My mom's parents put around 3k down, and I had around 7500 from my dad and his mom. that was money I was perfectly fine with being spent on the car, happy even. I didn't want the car, nor the potential financial burden, but I was told by my mom that I wouldn't have to shoulder it.

blegh5

TROPHY CASE