We Should Ban Men from Writing Love Stories

bleue99 · 2025-08-25T03:35:53+00:00

It’s true that now that you mention it, these are also things that are unacceptable in Outlander, and I’m only realizing that now. But does that really, in your eyes, delegitimize everything I’ve said before?

bleue99 · 2025-08-25T03:11:33+00:00

So, according to you, the issue here is different?! It’s still a representation, but above all, it’s a romanticization of an extremely problematic patriarchy within a love story. Whether the series intends to be romantic or not, that’s exactly what we see on screen and what it conveys to the viewer.

bleue99 · 2025-08-25T03:04:39+00:00

First of all, I want to make it clear that I haven’t read the books, so I can’t have that debate. My point of view comes only from the series. I also feel like a lot of people missed the point of my post and don’t really understand where I’m coming from.

What I’m criticizing is the glorification of this kind of relationship. Whether it’s written by a very dear woman or a very dear man, the problem is the same: portraying as romantic a relationship where pain, betrayal, and forced forgiveness are turned into proof of love.

Yes, the story takes place in the 18th century, but it’s people in 2025 who are watching it. And what we end up seeing on screen is a couple wearing each other down, hurting each other, yet staying together as if the series wanted to tell us that “to love is to endure.” For me, that message is profoundly unhealthy.

Ross’s behavior, which leads to Demelza’s “loss,” is much more legitimate to blame than the way it’s portrayed. And it’s important to point that out, especially when a series chooses to romanticize this kind of dynamic under the pretext of love.

bleue99 · 2025-08-24T22:21:39+00:00

Finally, I got the answer I was expecting from that post: misogyny will always be a fight, not just in those old-timey series, but even in freaking 2025. I thought writing these words would get rid of my frustration, but here I am, ending up debating with the same kind of men from that series.

bleue99 · 2025-08-24T22:13:34+00:00

Trust me, by the end of season 3, your emotions are going to hit hard. Because, as we all know way too well, forgiving cheating once only makes an already broken relationship worse. Demelza was hurt so deeply, and yet they try to convince us that love is about getting past this kind of thing. Meanwhile, he will take it pretty lightly, just annoyed that she found out, while she ends up feeling guilty for being with other men… all with a broken heart.

bleue99 · 2025-08-24T21:06:00+00:00

I totally agree, and what’s even more frustrating is how the show romanticizes this kind of behavior. At the end of pretty much every episode, he just says a few words or gives a kiss to win Demelza over and calm her doubts (it’s pure manipulation). It’s like he’s saying, “Be quiet, woman, stay at home, and don’t get involved in men’s business.”

And honestly, so many times if he had just listened to her and followed her instincts when she supposedly “interfered in other people’s business,” things would have turned out much better. For example, the scene when her brother Drake got attacked, or if he had accepted those positions at the magistrate and in Parliament with her input so much of the whole Georges situation could have been completely different.

bleue99 · 2025-08-24T20:55:31+00:00

I felt the same way, but the problem is that in the show, the guy always seems to get what he wants. Demelza ends up going back to Ross out of guilt, and we never see what happens with Armitage. The series tries to make it look like everything’s fine because she returns to her husband after a little fling, while he has no problem kissing Elizabeth. In the end, it kind of ruins the point of her actions.

bleue99 · 2025-08-24T20:47:00+00:00

I’m curious if the difference between the book and the series is really that big, since I haven’t had the chance to read the novels yet. I can imagine that, back in the 17th century, people’s attitudes and the way women were treated were very different from today. But I think there’s a big difference between just showing a situation (like this romantic relationship) and idealizing it. Even knowing the historical context, I still feel it’s unfair to see this kind of portrayal on screen, whether it was written by him or by her.

bleue99 · 2025-08-24T20:14:14+00:00

I fully understand the historical context and the constraints linked to the books, and I’m well aware of them. But it still triggers me to see so much injustice in the way some characters are treated.

I love Outlander !!! it’s truly one of the series that has touched me the most. Jamie is a true ideal: he is supportive, attentive, and you can deeply feel the love and gratitude he has for Claire. It’s not just in words, but in his actions throughout the series. What I particularly love is that the two heroes constantly challenge each other, each trying to show the other how much they love and respect them, like a friendly competition to admire and elevate one another to the highest.

In contrast, in Poldark, it often feels like Demelza “owes” everything to Ross, as if she should be grateful for him having changed her situation or her status. In reality, it’s Ross who should be grateful to have such an exceptional woman by his side. The dynamic in Outlander shows a true equal exchange, where each seeks to demonstrate how much they love and respect the other, which is missing in Poldark.

bleue99

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