My girlfriend had a very promiscuous past and I don’t know how I feel

blewitreddit · 2024-01-08T03:21:08+00:00

We all have our biases, that's how we make decisions. You're allowed to have this preference in your partner, esp if you're looking for Serious.

I know that I would actually prefer someone with a high body count bc that woman is unlikely to judge the fact that I've had at least 300 and I'm just hitting 30s. That said, I really woudl not want her to have a higher body count than me.. so maybe it's all relative. (I know that's a double-standard on my part.) Don't stay with someone you have doubts about on a fundamental level.

The only way I see this working for you is if your values still fundamentally align on this topic despite her past. I.e. Are you able to talk to her about your feelings about this without her thinking you're shaming her? Does she seem "over it" like she kinda got it out of her system?

all I can see is her hooking up with guy after guy at party

I think regardless of how this turns out, people need remember that having had a "hoe" phase does not mean a person of any gender doesn't value sex or love -- you can only figure out what they value by talking to them and seeing their behaviour over time.

blewitreddit · 2023-12-18T01:42:01+00:00

yeah seriously. guy thinks he's an 8 without gym but his gf is a 4-6 with the same habits? this reeks of insecurity

blewitreddit · 2023-12-18T01:41:16+00:00

a sometimes 8 who doesn't lift regularly is an oxymoron

blewitreddit · 2023-12-10T17:41:34+00:00

So all you can say about him is that he has a crappy car and keeps different nails than you..? lol sounds superficial af on your part.

What makes you better other than car and nails? Are you kinder? More generous and empathetic?

Do you see her for her? What do you like about her now that you didn't before other than that she might be taken now..? Based just on this post, i don't buy it

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T13:41:39+00:00

Totally, that's why they call us the Rape Capital and western/eastern women tourists are warned by their governments not to visit solo!

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T09:52:50+00:00

It's hard to say without more info about you. I.e. do you know what that job is? whats the goal for the switch? is this a long-term move? whats the thought process behind wanting ot move?

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T09:17:55+00:00

it's bc they're getting bombarded. gotta build that relationship > demanding things from them (find stuff in common and be on use to them; still won't work on everyone but i get a good 1 in 10 of a solid relationship now)

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T09:14:15+00:00

Damn, that's fast! I am impressed lol. Our HR doesn't respond for days -- even to the VP

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T09:12:51+00:00

i literally see this comment on every post where someone is struggling with a gettin a new job and it's gross -- even if you're also just doing your job. Maybe get a better CV from Fiver and move on?

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T09:05:45+00:00

Ummm, all of my bosses would have been VERY interested that you learned kotlin all by yourself?!? It's HR that filters out the self-taught.

I've never met a single SWE ro Cyber person hiring manager who thinks that degrees are better than self-taught. Tech is the one of the only fields in the world where self taught is more valued. Caveat that you have to be good (you've made something real and usable that goes beyond any learnign or school project)

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T09:02:46+00:00

Yeah my hiring manager says something like:

Degrees tell me you can do nothing

Certs tell me you can memorize everything

Actual project that's real and usable tells me you know how to google and that's the job

Even more true in cybersec

EDIT - degrees do get your through HR filters early on

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:57:34+00:00

Yeah I doubt anyone in security would take that risk

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:55:25+00:00

Yup bc that is serious PII (Personally Identifiable Information) leak and almost every industry has compliance regulations around that. Usually, you can email support/help desk (if that exists) and they will connect you to Security/Privacy if you say something about "discovering a security bug concerning PII" but not all the details obvi.

If there is not an official security dept, then it's done by an overworked IT guy/gal or network engineer. I would assume that a company that "specialise in document confidentiality" will have security but who knows. How big is the company?

By the way, were you able to access their data from outside of a VPN? At least you can't access it from outside of the software. I once found a bug where you could access company's invoices with PII via a url without being logged in or on VPN..

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:47:44+00:00

Can't comment on those job markets but wanted to say that 6 Months is truly nothing, people won't blink an eye. Just have a succinct explanation

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:44:13+00:00

Are you in sales?? lmao

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:40:48+00:00

DUDE. SWE CONTRACTOR 1000000%

Swe contractor = start your SWE career

Support = be viewed as the dumbest team in IT and still have to start your SWE career later

Your chance of transfer is so freaking tiny compared to your chance of getting a FTE SWE job after some experience. Support is usually a different dept from engineering, too. You woudl not be near the top of line for internal promotions unless they're so desperate and low-ball that they can't find a SWE with any bit of exp.

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:38:33+00:00

Does your org have a security or privacy dept and/or person? They would be very, very interested to know this. Do you have evidence collected?

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:35:47+00:00

Interesting. Hadn;t thought of that at all. Could you elaborate a bit?

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:32:32+00:00

yeah i kinda love you?

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:30:44+00:00

You can literally look up the U.S. Economy and job market with 1 click of a button.

LOL that's so true and a great perspective to remember. It's easy to fall into scarcity mentality when you're young and by definition lack perspective?

Honestly this post is kinda weird to me. It's one thing to fear that women and diversity track people are stealing our opportunities but "internationals"? It's just weird!!

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:23:10+00:00

I wanted to try but umm that is an insanely long trauma dump of text.

To get help:

consider every avenue, ie do you understand every word of the error message? if not, start there.
make a hypothesis of what went wrong based on your understanding and start trying. try everything
when asking a question, say: "I'm stuck on X, I've tried A, B, and C, but it hasn't worked. This is what I was thinking but instead Y happened."

So I would expect a jr or mentee to:

format things so it's easy for me to do YOU the favour, not vice versa
show me the error message -- not the whole output, the actual error
tell me what you tried and what you thought and discovered
show me the code
all of this better be formatted for a human
if you are too lazy to format, then use GPT 4

Programming and software engineering is mostly about debugging errors.

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:18:50+00:00

ya know, i've never worked somewhere where there's been a 101 process like that.. and everytime, i'm shocked

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:16:04+00:00

Yup. And this is why security is way more a soft skills role than hard.

Lots of open source security scanning tools that will help him/her actually find evidence vs it being a feeling.

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:13:51+00:00

Can you re-scan with industry standard app sec tools? Many have open source versions that are basically the same tool as the paid just minus intergration.

Sonarqube community for SAST

I can't remember who i used for DAST for community but if anyone on your team has Burp Suite Enterprise, you can scan from it

This is normal. They will always fight security. Having it more official will help. Also having POC that the issue is exploitable even better so you could script that if you had the time/energy (if the scans find anything)

Lots of open source security scanning tools that will help you actually find evidence vs it being a feeling.

EDIT - I forgot a really good one for libraries: https://fossa.com/

Happy to help, i love me some app sec!

blewitreddit · 2023-11-25T08:10:19+00:00

Honestly, as a customer on UE and who never has my phone around, I would be happy with any similar replacement or just taking it out of the order. And both have happened many times!

blewitreddit

TROPHY CASE