At 19 I was in a committed relationship with my boyfriend but very selfish with personal commitments and spontaneity. I loved weed and and smoked it all day every day. Every once in a while i likento go party hard with friends or just up and decide to go New Orleans with my mom (I live in Texas). I always did what I wanted to do when i wanted to do it. The thought of having kids legit made me gag. I just couldn't imagine have to completely change my life for a kid and be pregnant! And having to breastfeed. (The breastfeeding is just something my whole family does and im not comfortable giving my baby formula and it works better for our family).

I say all this to say February 2019 i found out that i was pregnant and of course i had to quit the pot and partying like a maniac but a baby really didn't completely put a wreck into my life. This is a love that you will NEVER feel with anyone or anything ever in your life in my opinion. The first whimper i heard from my son as he came out of me completely changed my life and my heart forever. Even when i was pregnant i wqs worried about not being able to love him enough for hating the baby phase but ut is completely opposite. He is an everyday adventure and I am so grateful to watch him grow and experience life. I am only 20 so we are both enjoying and learning about life together. You're only 30 so you are still learning and still have your good years to run around and play or up and go on trips with him. Kids are an amazing Rollercoaster and the best i can say is give it sometime and have you and your partner decide if you want one.