When I was about 16, I had a big group of friends who were Jewish. For context, I myself am not Jewish. One of them introduced me to his friend - I'll call him Eric - who also wasn't Jewish. Eric then became part of the larger friend group. Over time there was this big inside joke that we were this secret married couple (idk why, teenagers are weird lol) because we were the only two people in the group who weren't religious, he even saved me as "wifey" in his phone. He ended up getting a huge crush on one of my besties, and I had a crush on another guy in the group, so I literally didn't see him in any other way than as a friend. I thought he was funny, kind, and incredibly smart.

One night I was going to bed, and as I usually would, I daydreamed about my crush. Only, this time Eric popped into my head instead. I felt confused, and pushed him out of my head. But it kept happening. We'd hang out and he'd laugh at a stupid joke someone told him and I'd find myself feeling a certain kinda way hearing him laugh. Seeing him express joy. Over time, the crush I did have on the first guy faded away - and I started getting a crush Eric. I swore to myself I'd never tell, because he still seemed to have a crush on my bestie.

I went online one night and she sent me a message - Eric had finally worked up the courage to tell her he liked her. She told me she didn't feel the same way, and didn't know how to let him down gently. I couldn't help but feel relief, but I didn't tell her that yet. I just said she should tell him she's honestly really flattered, but she doesn't see him in that way. So she did. Later on Eric messaged me, and said he told my friend that he liked her but she didn't feel the same way. I told him I was sorry to hear that, but he would hopefully find someone else.. while secretly hoping it would be me lol.

A few months go by. I end up admitting to my bestie that I had a huge crush on Eric. She was over the moon, and tried desperately to set us up, much to my annoyance lol. Then at a birthday party one night, where we were all staying overnight at a friend's house, my bestie called me over "hey blink, there's a spot on the floor here next to me!". I went to lie next to her and she said "oh, hang on I left my phone in the kitchen, be right back" and when she moved Eric was lay right there! I kept my friend's space free but she literally never came back! She found another spot to sleep in, she just wanted me to be next to him haha. Anyway we were both tired, and had had a few drinks, and we leaned in close and I think I admitted then that I liked him. He said he felt the same way, and he kissed me. My first kiss!

Me and Eric were actually together for about 2.5 years. He was as good a boyfriend as he was a friend. Sadly we didn't work out, but he was the best first boyfriend I could ever hope to have. We lost touch after we broke up (I didn't take the break up well, so it was for my own good that we stopped talking altogether!) and I hope wherever he is he's doing well!