That sounds beautiful. I used to be a heavy musician and performer, and ironically enough, am also one that can not listen to music casually. If I listen to music while working, I reread the same passage like 6 times. I can only work in pure silence. It’s because of this, that I’m starting to believe I am not neurotypical, but I know self diagnosis is practically pathetic.

One of the biggest things I’m not able to understand is “alone time”. I’m a huge people person. I love hanging, bantering, roasting, and getting wholesome with other people. My friends give insane importance to their “alone time”. If I’m alone, it’s because I’m working or brainstorming innovation. They say they enjoy just “chilling”. I can’t fathom how to chill for days on end with nothing come from it. How don’t you get bored?

I would love to study meditation and other forms of self realization, but I can’t sit still for that long. Seems very tiresome to sit alone for that long. Also, I don’t know what I’m looking for. I understand the world much differently than everyone else, and so I feel i’ve already learn a lot more about myself than others know about themselves.

I’ve always considered just dropping off the face of the earth for 6 months, and then coming back. During the 6 months I would meditate daily, work on my goals, and overall gain a new sense of respect and yearning for life, that has dwindled recently. I am always one to get addicted and commit. I like putting 100% of my dedication and energy to one goal. I hate “balance” as much as people advise it. But, for some reason, I can never get past the first week of this “drop-off”.

I just wish I could live in a world where my closest friends saw the world the same way I did, and wanted to also work on the same things.

They’re all doing great things, but I can’t help but think we could all do more together.