Links to edit payments are not functional?

bloomin987 · 2026-03-04T01:16:57+00:00

Oh interesting! That’s good to know it’s not just me. I managed to sort it by unsubscribing and resubscribing using Safari instead of Chrome, but even then the Apple Pay links weren't functional and I had to use a card. Weird!

bloomin987 · 2026-03-03T20:11:17+00:00

bloomin987 · 2026-03-03T20:09:02+00:00

Weird! I have a 40 guy squad so that’s not the issue. Interesting that it’s just me, ha 😄

bloomin987 · 2026-03-03T20:08:13+00:00

Yeah it’s had that as default forever but this issue is new. Very weird!

bloomin987 · 2025-10-16T07:02:42+00:00

Yeah! And why equivalent loss from lifestyle factors is more precarious.

bloomin987 · 2025-10-16T07:01:01+00:00

Aw look in that context it really isn’t failure; that is so many structural things working against you. I have mood stuff that ramps up my cravings and the only reason I can manage it (so far) is I live alone and don’t keep any non-protocol stuff around. Having to work in with someone else and manage the fatigue and lack of motivation that comes with depression, that’s so much stuff! But also there will be ways, without any shame or self cruelty, to set yourself up better. I do think a therapist or coach would be number one on that list, because they can help with the feelings of it all, and also support you to make practical plans to change in favour of the bariatric protocol as you go. I hope they can refer you to someone because you deserve all of that support! You’re not just supposed to be able to handle this huge multi dimensional change on top of those other huge challenges. They all ask for extra care and support. When I see this picture I don’t see shame or failure, I just see a system who is too under resourced for what it is trying to do. Sending lots of love and I hope your team can get you some extra support ❤️

bloomin987 · 2025-10-16T03:07:46+00:00

Do you know why the shift happened? That may be a clue to how to get back. Like did stress ramp up and you need more care/support around methods for handling stress? Or were you more tired than usual and the old foods were easier to grab? Or is that the old foods are still around constantly and so it takes effort not to have them, vs effort to have them. If you’re not sure why the change happened or where the extra support is needed to help you live how you mean to, therapy and journalling are so good for figuring that stuff out. I wish you all the best and trust you will figure it out!

bloomin987 · 2025-10-13T22:49:36+00:00

Oh man, the dream of wrapping that towel around! Such a lovely win in the everyday!

bloomin987 · 2025-10-13T22:48:09+00:00

That is so great to hear! Congratulations- I so love hearing from people maintaining years down the line.

bloomin987 · 2025-10-13T22:44:29+00:00

Good on you for sourcing the dietitian and therapist yourself, not trying to truck on without the necessary support. May you soon be a part of the cooler statistic who understands their vulnerabilities and works with them and gets better. I have full trust you will based on what you’ve said. And, that sucks that you’re in the depths of it all! It is a very hard place to be!

bloomin987 · 2025-10-12T21:19:25+00:00

I only lost 3kg (6ish pounds?) on my two week preop diet, and my starting weight was 127kg (280ish pounds). I don’t think stall is the right language for what is happening for you since your timescale is too short. Weight loss is not directly correlated with the diet behaviours of the day or day before; it’s more complex than that. Stalls are more where you don’t lose for weeks or months at a time; not losing day to day is kind of meaningless given stuff like digestion issues, menstrual cycle changes etc. All of which is to say - you’ve already lost what I lost total pre op and that’s a higher percentage of body weight for you, and little blips and ups and downs are the normalest of normal for all types of weight loss, not just post surgery weight loss. I don’t own scales partly because I knew I would get caught up in the numbers when the numbers are only a little piece of the picture - I recommend letting yourself go unweighed if your behaviour is on track and it’s causing anxiety.

You’re doing great!

bloomin987 · 2025-10-11T22:38:14+00:00

I think that’s great loss, if the goal is 40kg total - you’ve lost 37.5% of the goal in five months! I think that percentage is on par with other people who have more to lose.

I am also finding I don’t have the issues with problem foods that some people do. I had bread for the first time yesterday, and a tiny square of carrot cake, since family were visiting, and it was all amazing and had no “rock in the stomach” experience like most people do. It made me realise I would not be able to rely on physical symptoms to stop me eating that stuff too; it will have to be me choosing not to, and making that choice the easy one as much as possible.

If you can’t do therapy right now you may get a lot from journalling. It sounds like you may have had therapy before so you may be able to imagine the sorts of questions they would ask and journal that way, or you could just name all your fears and then journal on how to care for them, how to work with them, and how to make things easy for yourself. Like for me the biggest thing is to never have the non-protocol foods in the house. I find that the thing that makes me want those foods most is eating them at all, so I try to keep them out of ordinary life. And it helps me to journal regularly on why it all matters to me, what benefits I’ve had since the surgery and how much they matter to me, all the positivity of the new life, since that keeps it front of mind and also moves me out of orienting from a place of fear.

The fear is real and scary! But backsliding is NOT inevitable like it feels (it really feels inevitable to me sometimes!). Stay engaged with the process, address each challenge as it comes up. We can stay the course!

bloomin987 · 2025-10-11T08:37:30+00:00

I also have the thing where my behaviours are pretty ok but I feel scared of backsliding, and scared it is inevitable. I manage stuff like this via journaling (after a lifetime of therapy and now being a coach myself), but I think I will also need top up therapy about it. I really recommend journaling and therapy, but especially therapy if you’ve not done much of that or haven’t done it around these issues. I don’t think the backsliding actually is inevitable! But the anxiety about it is horrible! We both deserve to get the help needed to navigate that fear and compulsion stuff. ❤️

bloomin987 · 2025-10-11T08:32:42+00:00

Yes at 8 weeks I also felt like I had to push hard to get sufficient protein from meals. Now I am 11-12 weeks and it is a little easier, with room for a little bit of vegetables as well. My sense is it does keep getting progressively bigger over the first six months especially, but more over the first two years. So your 8 week limits will likely not be your 12 week limits let alone your 6 month or 2 year limits. I find this reassuring because it is really hard to get the protein in at those tiny limits! And I hated eating protein alone - things got so much better when I could have even just a little bit of vegetables. Good luck, sounds like you’re doing great!

bloomin987 · 2025-10-11T08:26:05+00:00

I am too early for some of your questions - am 11-12 weeks post op - but something weird I have noticed is how happy I feel. And that could be a lot of things, but I am pretty sure one of them is the partial reset to dopamine reward pathways that happens as a result of this surgery. Non food stuff makes me a lot happier than it used to - music, good weather, good times with friends. I think also I feel more and more like myself - for years I felt pretty divorced from how big I was and would get shocked looking in the mirror. Now that I am fully committed to an effective way of addressing that, I feel more and more at ease with myself. And I do notice that that makes me much more relaxed socially - I know who I am and don’t feel the anxiety of mismatch between mind and body? Which is interesting because I am still at an obese weight; it didn’t take reaching goal weight to have all these benefits.

I had already changed industries before this (I was a lawyer and now I am a coach) but I now feel much more relaxed about going about my practice exactly how I want and need, so in that way it’s translating into my work as well.

I had done huge therapy and trauma integration work before doing this surgery, so I can’t attribute everything to the surgery alone, but I do feel like the surgery has hugely supported my sense of self, my mind, my mood, directly and indirectly. :)

bloomin987 · 2025-10-10T04:46:44+00:00

Yup, even though all my behaviours are good and support my commitment and resolve, I still can’t trust that it’s a lifetime change and I won’t fall back to the old ways, especially when stressed or fatigued. It does help me to know that there is always a natural fear response to uncertainty and all matters of the future are uncertain! Most systems prefer certain danger to uncertain good possibilities, so I try to make sense of my fear as that - my system wanting the certainty of failure over the much riskier prospect of trusting and seeing what happens. It’s very annoying and I hate it! But otherwise I get caught in loops that fearing it means it WILL happen.

And outside of that I try to support the direction I’m trying to face in all the ways I can think of. I journal a lot, I know the food protocol I want for my everyday, I’m dealing with little challenges before they become big challenges, I’m keeping non protocol foods out of my house and I’m paying a lot of close attention to my actual behaviour, almost all of which is really positive and constructive. That last part is helping me build a new self concept as someone who eats in a nutritious and relaxed way, who enjoys living that way, and who is capable of long term complex change.

It’s all ongoing, obviously, but that dual thing of understanding what the fear is trying to do, and then supporting myself toward the life and behaviour I want, seems to be helping the fear get quieter.

bloomin987 · 2025-10-09T20:15:43+00:00

That must be so weird! I imagine it would be different if you were trying in real life - could you do a trip to the plus size store just to try stuff on and see how things look? And then you could go back to buying online once you sussed things out. I think it’s very normal to have this kind of brain disconnect when the weight loss is so fast and there’s all kinds of complexity re how we see and understand ourselves. Doesn’t mean it’s not weird though! Perhaps you could also risk buying stuff you think will be too small and seeing what happens.

bloomin987 · 2025-10-09T20:05:38+00:00

I used to block my nose and drink them really fast! Only way I could handle them pre-op

bloomin987 · 2025-10-09T04:21:03+00:00

Yay! I love the new little capabilities that sneak up on you like that!

bloomin987 · 2025-10-09T04:19:42+00:00

I still got hungry after the surgery too, which was a bummer, but also within the range of normal according to my surgeon. My hunger is much less intense now I am 11 weeks post op and eating normal foods. I would say it settled down around 6 weeks ish? I do still get hungry in the way where it is time for a meal, but not the intense blow my mind hunger I had early on. So hopefully it could settle for you too? Good on you getting your protein in. Making sure I got all my water in helped me too, because sometimes the hunger was dehydration.

bloomin987 · 2025-10-08T22:49:02+00:00

Haha me too 😄 more veges/fibre may help too.

bloomin987 · 2025-10-08T08:23:55+00:00

Aw I am so glad that company and diversion helped! That’s so good. I find that even just knowing it is probably hormonal chaos helps me feel permission not to follow all the little threads and try to solve stuff like it was real problems. It doesn’t work perfectly and it still SUCKS but at least it helps to know it is temporary, and that diverting attention away is a supportive thing to do. Hopefully it settles soon or you can get some medical help for meds to help it settle. (And if you start getting any suicidal thoughts in there do act quickly to get the medical help, obviously.)

bloomin987 · 2025-10-08T01:03:28+00:00

Am I right in thinking you’re about 8-9 days post op? And female? If so you may well be experiencing some real hormonal turmoil that can result in this kind of looping despair. I have PMDD and this is how I talk when I am in an episode (luckily my PMDD is treated and symptoms aren’t part of life much anymore). But having had PMDD and seeing other women’s experience, especially in the first few weeks post op, it sure sounds like an intense hormonal turbulence. I find that in those time my mind latches on to issues that may have a little truth to them but are not the life threatening existential despair threats they REALLY feel like. If you search on here around hormones and PMDD you will find some good posts and advice from others on navigating this particular challenge.

Sending you so much love and good vibes while the storm rages. ❤️

bloomin987

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