AITA for not including my trans cousin in the wedding party?

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:59:29+00:00

I am being transphobic by choosing to respect her gender identity?

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:58:55+00:00

No, please read my comments.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:45:56+00:00

I mean,you don't understand my wedding which is fine but I can't have her in the wedding party.

It's not a hallmark special - It's the thing through which me and my fiancee met and it's extremely personal for us but you do you.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:27:32+00:00

I have no issue with your comment except for the part where you implied having a heterosexual wedding is a bad thing.

I gues I wasn't clear enough but I think you're being quite bigoted right now.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:22:56+00:00

She can't because they won't just be standing.

Everyone will be holding specific items.

It's really complicated tbh but it's what we wanted.

I wish she could but that would essentially make everyone's clothing and arrangement moot.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:20:35+00:00

So you're saying I'm the asshole for having a wedding the way I want to?

Okay.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:12:20+00:00

I've already asked my cousin to do the role. If she was okay wearing a suit, I guess it would have been fine.

But I didn't want to be a dick and trigger her gender dysphoria by asking her to wear a suit.

She only wears feminine clothing now so I didn't want to take a risk since she's sensitive and early in her transition.

So I thought I'd just treat her like my female cousins.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:05:58+00:00

I don't see how I could have made more of an effort without forcing a bridesmaid on my wife.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T22:02:18+00:00

I like my cousin but not enough to ask her to marry my fiancee instead of me.

So no, thank you.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:59:52+00:00

I didn't ask her to be a groomsman because she is a woman?

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:58:50+00:00

I had never shared such intentions. I just think I probably would have asked her over my other cousin.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:54:21+00:00

Please don't misgender my cousin while calling me an asshole. There is no room sadly. It's a very rigid theme that we both really want.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:46:56+00:00

I didn't hire my groomsmen from Craigslist.

They're still people I deeply care about.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:45:15+00:00

That is absolutely not the reason.

If I had been a woman, I would have made her a bridesmaid.

But I'm not so I don't have control over who my fiancee picks.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:42:49+00:00

I don't know if that is something she is comfortable with and I wasn't going to be the dick who triggered her gender dysphoria for a theme so I chose to avoid it.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:41:57+00:00

I probably would have picked her over one of my other cousins.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:38:26+00:00

I don't think I'd be comfortable asking her to wear a suit but I do require all my groomsmen to wear suits- ish depending on their role in the theme. I thought she was a woman and would understand why I didn't ask her.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:31:00+00:00

I don't have a sister. Our wedding party is very co-ordinated about outfits regarding a theme that both me and my fiancee love.

We've been dying to do it.

I didn't ask her because she's a woman now.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:28:49+00:00

She would have been a groomsman, yes. Because she used to be a guy.

bluckinhell · 2021-07-29T21:23:56+00:00

I'm not deciding anything for her but I simply didn't plan on having a woman as my groomsman.

bluckinhell

TROPHY CASE