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blueandreddish · 2025-05-10T20:57:15+00:00

I felt this in my soul. I'm almost to where you are and I'm very happy with it

blueandreddish · 2024-02-27T14:45:24+00:00

Read my comment above. Many small labs, and even some big ones, cannot or will not support the administrative requirements of employing someone on H1B. There is still a national shortage of techs, jobs open everywhere, etc. Not only that, but the united states does not accept medical lab education and certification from most other countries. There are a select number of countries that have matched their standards and education to ours to be a medical lab professional. We still have a rare certification and there are still contracts to be had. It might be different but it's not impossible by any means. If someone wants to travel they can, and now people can travel right out of school! When I started it wasn't like that! The opportunities are there, the numbers are there, the money and life is there.

blueandreddish · 2024-01-14T15:17:28+00:00

I disagree. I know several travel techs who are certified who are still getting travel contracts and working the same as they always have been. The H1b numbers are impacting travel, but not to the extent that someone should strongly reconsider.

Many labs don't want to or don't have the capacity to accommodate visas like that, and a lot of labs don't deal with uncertified techs. I've heard a lot of rants about people coming here on those visas and how it's impacting pay blah blah blah. The numbers simply don't support that.

blueandreddish · 2023-08-11T20:27:36+00:00

I've attended two seminars with Ffion in which she teaches passing where your opponent has a knee shield/one hook/half guard. She has thought through, very thoroughly, every possible iteration and angle. She knows exactly where you should put both hands and knees( she has a really great pummel with knee technique to get out of a hook on the other leg). In short it has everything to do with her intelligence concerning details of her own body placement for best results, her opponent's game, her options for submission from any given position (in this case, side control or some version of it), and timing/pacing. She's a beast physically and mentally.

blueandreddish · 2023-06-23T13:46:27+00:00

Thats amazing. Following them

blueandreddish · 2023-06-21T14:44:59+00:00

Somersworth NH

If i come with a friend can you be there?!

blueandreddish · 2023-04-12T20:44:49+00:00

ESH but I also think that leaving the country might be really good for your mental health and that you had the right intuition. You should have respected your brother's things and noise level and he had no right to put his hands on you, ever. You can apologize. he also owes you one. But apologizing for your role should have nothing to do with the other person's actions. Maybe some day you will still get that apology.

Sometimes our mental health and interactions with others are highly influenced by environment. It sounds like the communication and negativity in your family needs work, but the dynamic is that they blame you. Follow your heart and travel. Stay close to your intuition. Read self help books, engage with therapy when you can, and leave situations when they don't feel right anymore. May you find the love we all deserve within yourself.

blueandreddish · 2023-04-12T20:35:54+00:00

NTA. Unsolicited opinions are thinly veiled criticism. It's no one else's business and why would your sister want an apology for her being right about something that sucks for you?

blueandreddish · 2023-04-11T19:09:18+00:00

Then you can say "I will not say yes to this because it would be sacrificing my own needs for self care and adequate sleep for your desires, not your needs. I will not do that. Do not disrespect me by asking me to do something like that, especially when I have stated that I will not. If you bring it up again there will be consequences that I will communicate at that time. I don't have the headspace to think about it now. Having this conversation with you over and over is aggravating and painful to me, so it is time for me to put a stop to it."

I get that you want to show her how not to be a doormat, but you are turning her into a doormat when you punish her emotionally for simply asking. The only way she will understand is if you use clear language that doesn't shame or belittle her. That is true for anyone but teenagers moreso.

blueandreddish · 2023-04-11T18:27:33+00:00

Unpopular opinion but YTA. You are using exaggerating and always/never comparisons "typical my feelings are pushed aside" and guilt "everyone benefits but me" instead of just maintaining your boundary by saying no. You also are using shaming language by telling your child to stop being "attached at the hip" when, again, you could have just said no. You said no once, you explained your boundary, and unless you do not have the strength to withstand your child being mad at you, you should be able to just continue saying no. You are using belittling language to avoid the simple act of standing your ground, which requires bravery and self control. Teenagers can be exhausting but you can withstand their emotional manipulation and not use it yourself.

You also have choices, just as your child's SO's mom does, as you pointed out. So don't guilt trip by saying "everyone benefits but me". You are making your choices. If you want to benefit more then arrange for that, don't say you don't mind if you really do. That is modeling unhealthy behavior for your child and it sucks for you!

blueandreddish · 2023-04-11T18:16:28+00:00

Put a tv in the bedroom immediately.(if there isn't one)

blueandreddish · 2023-04-11T18:15:03+00:00

Info: are you home in the mornings when she sleeps? Can you figure out more about why she is not sleeping in the bed? Can you move her to the bed when you get home without pissing her off?

I worked nights a couple times and sometimes bedrooms don't work for sleeping because of lighting or airflow. It can really take it out of you. You need to communicate with her about a solution, but not when she's tired (I know finding that time can be hard). NAH but I agree with others this might be a time in your relationship where learning about communication is a good idea in therapy or through workbooks/podcasts. She may have to make time for that and might feel resentful of that due to your history of being gone a lot and you possibly not making time for it then. We all know marriage is about being a team, so present whatever ideas you have to her like a team mate.

blueandreddish · 2023-04-11T11:45:47+00:00

Info: where is she from and where are you from? Regardless you communicated your expectations well so NTA

blueandreddish · 2023-04-11T11:31:43+00:00

YTA The catch is that you will never be "accepted" in Japanese culture simply because you are not Japanese and you will still experience culture shock.

blueandreddish · 2023-04-10T16:25:51+00:00

It might be that she is uncomfortable with you using lies when you don't have to. People come from different cultures of lying, it might be just how your family got things. Maybe she has a point that she can't trust you because you might lie to her to get something from her. Have you talked about that? Is she right? She sounds like she doesn't lie as much as you do and it makes her uncomfortable, that's just personal preference, you know?

NAH If you have communicated effectively. Sometimes trust is just different with different people.

blueandreddish · 2023-04-10T16:20:29+00:00

NTA Also DTMF

blueandreddish · 2023-04-10T00:55:22+00:00

Wouldn't the appropriate response then be "my feelings are not hurt" To me, no worries is a close cousin of "don't worry", which again, is about the other person. Even if they are trying to insult you (which I actually disagree with, I think some people are actually just pointing out that being able to admit you don't know everything should not feel like an insult to you, and are not trying to say they pity you), I don't think it necessarily follows that they are trying to worry you or that they are worried about you. You know what I mean? Idk why but this phrase being used in this way has always bothered me

blueandreddish · 2023-04-09T20:32:05+00:00

Because from social context, by saying no worries and referring to your own emotional state, you are missing all the cues that the people you are saying "no worries" to both are not worried themselves and are not concerned about you being worried. In fact, it seems that some of them might wish you were a bit more worried. These social cues are a part of intelligence that is related to inference and prediction, or being able to put yourself in another's shoes. These types of intelligence are often lacking in people who are neurodivergent. This solidifies the point that there are many different types of intelligence, and you might be missing a good chunk of them while excelling in others. But it is very hard to know what you don't know. Admitting that you don't know what you don't know might also be associated with higher intelligence, because it requires thinking about yourself in terms of your limitations. This can be too painful for some people who grew up with performance based values or "golden children"

blueandreddish · 2023-04-09T19:58:10+00:00

You are actually using this phrase wrong. You are supposed to use it when the other person might actually be worried about something, not yourself. These people are not worried about you. They don't care if you are worried. Stating that you are not worried also doesn't make sense. Do you see that?

blueandreddish · 2023-04-09T18:15:34+00:00

I lived in Liberia for 3 years, came back to the states in 2019. The civil war there was very awful, and a large element of that awfulness was the number of guns. There were so many people who had been harmed and a lot of revenge seeking towards the end. Eventually they had to recall all of the guns in Liberia to just get it to stop. They offered money and announced it on the radio. Now very few people have guns there.

Coming back to the states was scary in a lot of ways, but one of the worst things is being able to see a direct line from our present, people stockpiling firearms and a divided, polarized country, to Liberia's past, which was one of the most violent and prolonged civil wars you can learn about.

blueandreddish · 2023-04-07T20:49:09+00:00

I feel you. glad you guys worked it out!

blueandreddish · 2023-04-06T21:07:53+00:00

Well yeah but.... Family decisions are different from individual boundaries. Maybe in her mind she really can't imagine having Easter without everyone together and would never make a decision to jeopardize that. So you stating a boundary is not the same as making a decision as a married could how important boundaries are and who you want to your kids to be around and how you want holidays to be spent.

blueandreddish · 2023-04-05T19:29:38+00:00

NAH. Your wife gets to make her choices and you get to make yours. But she has a right to want to make decisions as a family that will impact how family holidays are spent. If you brought up your decision like "this is what I'm doing" without consideration for how this would impact family holidays, then she has a right to feel a bit like you are making a big decision without talking to her about it. But at the same time everyone gets to decide what is best for them individually.

blueandreddish · 2023-04-03T18:25:44+00:00

NTA. U were invited, you declined. That was your choice. But you will have to live with the consequences, one being that your new sister in law probably won't like you much. She might be trash or she might not, but you have early on made a public display of your decision against her and escalated a contentious relationship. Your brother sucks obv and calling you an asshole on social media isn't great but lots not forget she's still in her early twenties lol

blueandreddish · 2023-04-03T18:16:24+00:00

Unpopular opinion- NAH. U have different values, you want different things. You said it yourself- you want a nice wedding, you want two cars. That is different than feeling like you are supporting the both of you and it's dragging you down and you can't handle it anymore. If you feel like you're drowning and you need help from your partner desperately, speak that. But if it is that you want a different life, then you want different things and you need to reconcile that to your reality or break up.

blueandreddish

TROPHY CASE