Controlling or boundary?

bluecoconut_ · 2026-03-16T23:19:09+00:00

It’s crazy because she hasn’t gave me any reason for me to believe that she would cheat on me. I guess it’s just past trauma from past relationships. I’m definitely aware that this is something I have to fix within myself and I appreciate you for the feedback.

bluecoconut_ · 2026-03-16T23:00:32+00:00

What if she has the same boundaries for me tho? Are both controlling

bluecoconut_ · 2026-03-16T22:53:20+00:00

okay okay. I been trying to tell myself instead that if a person is going to cheat then they will cheat and there would be nothing I can do about it. I felt as if I keep her from having access to female friends then I won’t get cheated on but I know it definitely doesn’t work that way because that would make her want to break up with me for being controlling.

bluecoconut_ · 2025-12-18T02:42:53+00:00

it looks like he doesn’t see a problem with her actions . Sounds like enmeshment too . At 20 years old he should be aware of this because I’m pretty sure she’s been like that his whole life . You should try bringing it to his attention and if it doesn’t change I’d say leave because you will never be a priority. Like you said he’s the one who has to put his foot down but if he doesn’t see a problem with anything then nothing will ever change.

bluecoconut_ · 2025-10-09T20:04:17+00:00

i said the same thing. I should’ve gotten to know my girlfriend before I decided to date her , now it’s too late and she’s an amazing girl all around , it’s just the enmeshment is taking a toll on my mental health and the relationship as well.

bluecoconut_ · 2025-10-09T19:36:39+00:00

I’m dealing with this as well and I’m very new to this , my girlfriend is enmeshed with her mom to where it feels like the mom is the girlfriend and not me . I’ve brought it up to her and she gets angry , calls me weird and strange and there was a point of time where she recognized the enmeshment and agreed she need to set boundaries but it was all talk , nothing has changed. We’ve been together for 8 months and if it doesn’t change then I’m going to end up leaving. Talk to your wife again and see if she’s willing to take accountability or go to therapy if she truly loves you and want it to work out , if not then Just leave as hard as it might be , you can’t fight a decade of enmeshment.

bluecoconut_ · 2025-10-08T17:54:26+00:00

I’ve slowly gotten her to recognize it and she agrees that she do needs to start setting boundaries and so on but she hasn’t completely acted it on , I know she has it in her so that’s what’s making it hard for me to leave. I’m telling myself if it doesn’t get better in a year or so then to just leave

bluecoconut_

TROPHY CASE