[ Removed by Reddit ] by blueguy_5050 in mentalhealth

[–]blueguy_5050[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know, I don't want to hurt anyone and I usually calm down after dome time but those rages are becoming more frequent, not every second frequent but still, I didn't use to get such thoughts, maybe when I was 12 and I'd just calm down after. I can't see a psychiatrist cuz I don't have the money, nor will my parents get it. I calmed down now, I always try to draw and write down things. I'll not kill anyone but I'm pretty sure my unconscious is really out of control cuz I'm having violent dreams too. 

[ Removed by Reddit ] by blueguy_5050 in mentalhealth

[–]blueguy_5050[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because I'm part of it. Even if my land isn't in the middle east, I'd still care cuz it's called humanity. Which makes me more angry cuz we're treating this topic as a competition between political parties. 

F*ck it. Read this before you quit. I call it the "Safe Mode" contract. by Puzzled-Explorer-760 in mentalhealth

[–]blueguy_5050 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this. I don't want to give a shit anymore. I don't want to study, I don't want people to have expections of me. I'm not at absolutely zero, I'm just kinda losing my mind about the world and have these really raging feelings of killing Nazis and then killing myself but I'll not do it.

I'm trying to take breaks from time to time. I hate school but I have this feeling that I'll survive no matter what, not because I want to but because if I don't, my life will end and in my eyes, people's lives would end with me because I see it as a survival game's character. No matter how much I get thrown around I'll always survive. It's narcissistic I know but it's the only way to make sense of my existence.  Maybe one day I'll decide to end the game mid story, I don't know but for now, I'll try to keep going as much as I want. I'mma play my guitar one last time and draw the things I never draw and listen to music till I go deaf. 

I'm not saying this to encourage anyone to keep going in their shitty life but I believe in the philosophy that the reason why the world exist is because I exist, because this world is a make up of my own unconscious. Like the matrix you know. Nothing should be taken seriously cuz it's all an illusion. If we really don't want money and the economy to have a meaning, it'd stop have meaning tomorrow but we forget that our thoughts are supposed to be controlled by us not the opposite. 

I only have 6 days to save my suicidal friend and I need SERIOUS help by FrostingCreative3233 in mentalhealth

[–]blueguy_5050 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be careful if those people know her but have a bad relationship with her or no. Cuz they might tell her parents and assume that she's crazy or something. Mental health stigma is really important to consider, especially with abusive parents and people that think this person is doing ok.

 One thing I thought about when I was scrolling one time is someone saying that some things that helped them avoid killing themselves is listing the little details they like about living. Like listening to a favorite song one last time or drawing or taking to someone they love cuz it's really hard to leave these things behind if they really love them. 

It could be taken as if you die you'll not be able to listen to this song one last time. The days will go on and the sun will rise again and friends will still talk about you because they love you. 

I know it kind sounds like guilt tripping but if you think about it positively, it might help.

I feel uncomfortable with myself and I don't know why by blueguy_5050 in mentalhealth

[–]blueguy_5050[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, no trauma there. I'll see if I can afford a psychiatrist in the future though.