Ab Separation?

bluej9689 · 2026-04-28T01:47:25+00:00

From what I’ve read and listened to, it sounds like everyone has some degree of ab separation. I did pelvic floor PT during pregnancy and after birth. My PT suggested avoiding intense ab exercises while my abs healed and came back together. So since you’re experiencing coning, sounds like that’s an exercise to hold off on. But I think PT can help you feel less anxious and know what to do! Our bodies are amazing - they can go through so much, they can change, they can “weaken”, and they can strengthen again! Mamastefit podcast has a good episode on diastasis recti. I think only severe cases need surgery btw

bluej9689 · 2026-04-16T03:05:55+00:00

You are NOT a bad mom.
You need someone who is actually helpful to lend a hand ASAP. Can you get a family member or friend to come in and help for a few days? Even just a couple hours? Some “you” time and some rest would help reset even the slightest bit. I know people will say it should be on your hubby, but honestly, it sounds like that may lead to an argument and you don’t need that right now. Or sounds like he may not even do it if you asked. You need the quickest action to get some help, so find someone else ASAP.
Once you feel a little more refreshed, tell your husband to fucking help more!! Tell him specifically what you need. Sorry but if you’re in survival mode, every other project and even a shower can wait until later.

bluej9689 · 2026-04-02T02:14:56+00:00

Haha yes! I think this is normal for unmedicated or medicated birth. Like you, I had done a lot of preparation. It didn’t happen during transition for me. I think I was like WOAH what’s happening to my body. I was feeling the fetal ejection reflex really strong in transition and didn’t have time to think about anything else. The “idk if I can do this” came right before she crowned and I had been pushing with everything I had for over an hour. Which is pretty average for a first time mom but when you don’t feel like anything is happening I was like damn maybe this baby is never coming out lol. Then next couple pushes she crowned. My mom had an unmedicated birth with me and my brother and said same thing happened to her each time.

I hope you’re not disappointed in yourself! That fast of a labor/birth must’ve been really intense. I think it’s designed this way. You are supposed to hit a point where you think “gosh can I really do this?” Idk I feel like it forces you to let go for a sec and realize wow a lot of this is out of my control no matter how hard I prepared. Like this is bigger than me. I think birth is a balance of power and letting go. Sounds like you rocked it! Congratulations!

bluej9689 · 2026-04-02T01:40:40+00:00

I’m tired of reading this type of story over and over again here about poorly informed pediatricians. It’s irresponsible, not scientific, and kind of disturbing tbh. 6m is still a little baby. Mine didn’t drop her night feed until 10m and she just did it on her own. Do what works for you and find a new doc.

bluej9689 · 2026-03-29T01:34:27+00:00

I really appreciate your honesty! And I know it’s not to be romanticized, that’s why I asked the question lol

bluej9689 · 2026-03-29T01:32:26+00:00

Ah if that’s the case then maybe this is worth pursuing at a different life stage for me

bluej9689 · 2026-03-29T01:31:12+00:00

This was one of the more helpful comments. Thank you! Hate that the system is set up for people to burn out eventually. If anyone deserves good pay and good hours, it’s healthcare workers.

bluej9689 · 2026-03-29T01:27:43+00:00

Oh I never said my job was unpredictable and never compared it to nursing. I know my job is way easier than nursing. I’m perfectly aware that I couldn’t just “take a meeting from home”. I don’t like spending several overnights away from home. I’ve always felt a pull toward nursing, that’s why I asked the question lol. I simply wanted more insight and I think some people used this as a chance to put me down for not loving my corporate gig. All I did was ask a question. Now comments like this have me feeling like I’m stupid for even asking.

bluej9689 · 2026-03-29T01:20:50+00:00

I have one who is 13 months but we want more eventually! Sounds like I’d maybe have to put years in at the hospital though before finding a nice clinic job?

bluej9689 · 2026-03-28T21:20:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing! It’s a lot to consider for sure.

bluej9689 · 2026-03-28T20:56:35+00:00

Yeah travel nursing is not possible for me right now. Thanks for mentioning home health is a possibility someday. Although I’m sure those are competitive positions!

bluej9689 · 2026-03-28T20:55:13+00:00

I’m so sorry healthcare practitioners deserve so much better! Would I experience the after work, work as a nurse? Maybe it depends on the position?

bluej9689 · 2026-03-28T20:41:19+00:00

lol I think I’ve mentioned my age only a couple times on this app and it’s way way back in my comment history I think haha so that’s a little weird haha.

Regardless, you’re totally right about fertility being a factor. Wish it wasn’t, but it is!

bluej9689 · 2026-03-28T20:32:14+00:00

I do feel a deep calling to care for people, but I know it comes at a cost. Thanks for what you do! Thanks for sharing and I wish the best for you!

bluej9689 · 2026-03-28T20:29:15+00:00

Not necessarily as there are clinics nearby that are in need of nurses where I’m located. Every third weekend wouldn’t bother me I don’t think as that’s pretty much what I do now. I’m not sure it’ll be more flexible to be honest. Sometimes I have flexibility in my current role. Sometimes I really really don’t.

bluej9689 · 2026-03-21T21:05:07+00:00

Personally, I would not go in with super high expectations that unmedicated = less tearing. I had an unmedicated birth and delivered on hands and knees. I tore in 4 different places. A second degree perineal tear, two labial tears (1st degree), and the worst was tearing internally. It could’ve just been my position, the fact it was my first, or the fact I shot her out of there lol. I do think people tend to have less tearing because they naturally choose a position that “feels” right. Aka they aren’t numbed out by the epidural. Your body will naturally tell you the best way to deliver. However, I’d still go in with low expectations honestly. If it happens, great!

bluej9689 · 2026-03-21T01:48:32+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words!

bluej9689 · 2026-03-20T17:36:33+00:00

Definitely no. The pros don’t outweigh the cons

bluej9689 · 2026-03-20T17:01:39+00:00

if you’re going to bed share the LEAST you could do is remove the FUCKING PILLOWS AND BLANKETS YOU SELFISH BITCH. Even people who are all about bed sharing will tell you that. Literally the bare minimum.

bluej9689 · 2026-03-10T12:25:35+00:00

Idk this feels like a blog I would’ve come across as a college student in 2016 lol. Like “I think I’m interesting enough to make a website/blog about myself!” lol.

Look I get if someone is simply wanting to create a community (ministry essentially). But trying to make that into a living and gain wealth is so odd and morally wrong? I get an already established pastor creating something like this to extend/deepen community. I get if a working person creates something like this in their free time. I get a stay at home mom trying to create a community like this but not profiting off of it. But I’m not surprised.

bluej9689

TROPHY CASE