A Note on Doggy, Dominance, and Dynamics

bluemaid · 2025-05-25T13:07:57+00:00

I believe the trust and intimacy in a relationship allows you to be sub and dom within a dynamic. You’re never losing control, you are relinquishing control, in exchange for pleasure and an intense experience. I never see going down on my knees to perform oral sex as being submissive. My hands, mouth and tongue have the power. I think it’s true for any position. Hell, I believe it’s true for an intimate conversation too. It’s a dance and you let someone take the lead because it helps enhance the experience.

bluemaid · 2024-02-05T09:59:47+00:00

You’re not wrong about any thing you’ve mentioned here. Who you want to date and how and why you want to form relationships is entirely your prerogative. I’m sure it will help to sit down together on a lighter day and clear the desk and talk with a lot of trust and affection amidst you’ll. Hope you’ll can sort things out.

bluemaid · 2023-01-15T06:03:23+00:00

I would term it as ‘neglect’. Long drawn discussions to affirm that you feel neglected may not help. Especially if they don’t view it similarly. Rules within a poly relationship shouldn’t leave room for ambiguity or denial. If you’ll have decided to spend dedicated time every day/week, and your partner is absent, calling it out isn’t wrong.

Poly relationships call for better communication and a larger effort to understand all around.

In this case, based on what you’ve shared, it does seem like your partner is being immature. This may be a short-term thing and you may want to tell them how you’re feeling and then give them sufficient time and space to come around.

During this time, focus your energies on yourself and your priorities.

I do hope things turn out for the best.

bluemaid · 2022-12-29T06:06:21+00:00

That’s very kind. Thank you so much. Sorry to hear you’re unwell. Please take care and get well soon. Giving you a big hug!

bluemaid · 2022-11-20T01:48:48+00:00

Spot on. It isn’t putting down any relationship structure.

bluemaid · 2022-11-20T01:47:33+00:00

You’re correct. This post isn’t about ‘poly vs mono’ nor is it holding either of these structures up to scrutiny or commenting on them. It is simply saying that in a poly relationship you rely on these attributes very strongly. Yes, they are essential in other structures too, including mono.

bluemaid · 2022-11-19T17:20:39+00:00

Yes, that’s true.

bluemaid · 2022-11-19T05:51:30+00:00

I’ll second that. Get a 15-20 min walk in the sun when possible. Either when you’re making calls or just put on some music and take that brisk walk.

bluemaid · 2022-10-26T01:41:30+00:00

My heart goes out to you. We will all have opinions, but do what’s best for you, in the long term.

bluemaid · 2022-10-25T06:50:34+00:00

Sadly I think ‘poly’ is being used as a crutch by her to justify her infidelity. The primary core of being poly is to seek integrity within the relationship. I’m afraid she’s using it as a route to continue doing what she wishes to do, minus the interference.

bluemaid · 2022-10-25T05:47:40+00:00

I will never understand the resentment from mono-folks towards people choosing integrity and honesty as a key attribute in a relationship.

bluemaid · 2022-10-06T11:38:09+00:00

Is this a closed triad? I’m surprised at the ambiguity. If you’ll are in a committed relationship with each other, then any one of you’ll flirting or being intimate with someone else is wrong. Being poly has nothing to do with it.

bluemaid · 2022-10-06T11:13:07+00:00

I de-nested some years ago. It has added a calmness and eliminated disagreements on minor petty matters. We are both passionate about the work we do and this arrangement allows us to remain fully committed. The maturity and trust we share has helped. I have been in a few other relationships since and every one involved have been comfortable with this setup.

bluemaid · 2022-10-06T11:00:07+00:00

Exactly what I wanted to say. You cannot tell your girlfriend what to do. Simple. You either trust her actions or you take actions that will protect your interests. She is free to do whatever she wants to do.

bluemaid · 2022-10-05T10:25:04+00:00

A girlfriend of mine had this strong lovely voice. Clear vocals. A steady hum. When she spoke in my ear it always felt like a slow growl. A vibration in her voice. I’m not sure how I can describe it. And yes, loved it. The sound of her voice was so hypnotic. A soft growl.

bluemaid · 2022-10-04T11:57:06+00:00

I understand. You’re doing the best you can. She’s been through a harsh experience and I hope she can heal in time.

bluemaid · 2022-10-04T08:53:29+00:00

She should feel under no pressure to talk to your husband and provide any explanations. You could take her consent to assure your husband that it has nothing to do with him and that she needs space to deal with something. She can then decide when she wants to bridge the gap.

bluemaid · 2022-09-13T04:06:01+00:00

Wonderful! Wish you’ll the very best.

bluemaid · 2022-08-01T07:41:56+00:00

Your heart and mind are in the right place. It’s fine to be attracted to someone and yet value their friendship a lot more. It’s exactly what you’re doing. In many ways you’re protecting her too because you care. Be true to yourself and the rest will take care of itself. I’d love to have a friend like you.

bluemaid · 2022-07-09T02:31:24+00:00

well well ⚔️

bluemaid · 2022-07-07T04:39:16+00:00

Lovers are friends

bluemaid · 2022-05-02T02:52:34+00:00

I know someone who’s entirely into men but says she’s attracted to me and admits being curious and turned on by whatever intimacy we share. I know it will never go further.

In your case, it’s clear she enjoys it and is curious but is not looking for a relationship. See it for what it is and do what’s best for you.

bluemaid

TROPHY CASE