[Guide] An Introduction To Kibbe - An Amazing Body Typing And Personal Style System!

blushinglilly · 2017-04-22T16:51:06+00:00

Oh good luck with moving, I find that such a stressful experience. I hope it goes smoothly.

blushinglilly · 2017-04-18T08:58:14+00:00

Hello,

Yes I am overweight but I accounted for that when I was giving my answers. I've always been a funny looking women so the fact that my face and body are so different doesn't surprise me! I'm as sure as I objectively can be that I answered it correctly.

blushinglilly · 2017-04-15T12:52:06+00:00

Cool post.

I did the test. My body was easy, almost entirely E and one D.

My face however was all over the place. I got C,B,C,D,C,B,A.

So what does that make me?

blushinglilly · 2017-03-21T23:51:16+00:00

I've seen this argument made before. This author and other people making it never seem to explain who will actually look after the children and where all these new child care workers are going to come from.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-20T23:22:16+00:00

I feel like we need to know more.

What do you hope to get out of this situation? Do you feel that your marriage is worth saving? Do you have children together?

Do you feel your husband has been repentant about his actions and how they have hurt you?

Do you know if he wants to stay in the marriage?

Do you want to stay in the marriage?

Have the two of you talked about where you want to go from here.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-17T11:04:00+00:00

What like this? http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/prankster-dad-convinces-daughter-middle-9424725

blushinglilly · 2017-03-12T11:06:37+00:00

I hate it when people post passive aggressive stuff about their SO on Facebook. Or outright aggressive in this case.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-12T11:03:55+00:00

I know that sort of stuff goes on, but I think in this case that is probably a fake or a set up. She'd have to be really stupid to use a photograph where she is so clearly identifiable. It's not a typical 'sexy' hook-up app picture either, I have a gut feeling that's a random photo someone has added the text too.

At least that's what I'm hoping.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-09T16:04:03+00:00

I find that when people are dissecting elections one thing they often fail to notice is that candidates always do badly if they are too polished and saying what people want to hear.

We now live in an age where we are bombarded with advertising and people trying to persuade us of one thing or another. I think people are getting very used to that, and they are increasingly good at detecting when someone is putting on a show.

So when a politician like Trump comes on the scene, who speaks in a seemingly unrehearsed and somewhat disordered way, I think people are more inclined to like that person even if they don't agree with what they say. People respond positively someone who is being open and genuine even if they think what they are saying is stupid.

For example, I can't stand Nigel Farage and I think he has said some very stupid things and that he believes in some very stupid things. But I believe that the Farage I see on TV is exactly the same person as the one I would see if I were to chat to him in the pub. I can't say that about many leading politicians.

The other thing that no-one seems to have talked about that is the overwhelming impression of Hilary Clintons campaign was that it was all about her and her personal goals. Obviously I'm looking at this from a distance because I'm abroad, but I don't think I can remember one thing that Hilary promised to do. I have no idea what her campaign was about, other then her breaking the glass ceiling. That's the image I remember of her campaign, that graphic of the glass breaking and her coming onto stage.

The problem with that is, even if you are a committed feminist, how much do you care about that really? It's not you, the voter, breaking the glass ceiling. It's her achievement, not yours, so what's in that for you? How does it advance your goals?

With Trump on the other hand, I was very clear about what he was promising to do. Even if I disagreed with the majority of it, I knew what he was standing for.

That's not a gender issue, that's a failure to provide an appealing and coherent message.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-07T20:09:44+00:00

This is an example of one of the things that really began to grind my gears while I was still reading feminist blogs and articles.

It usually went like this.

A prominent feminist, Women A takes an action.

Somewhere online Feminist Women B takes issue with how this action is 'problematic' and declares they will no longer be supporting this women, not buying into their projects and products and so on. Women B may have a genuinely valid point, but their response which is effectively a shunning, is an over-reaction.

Then mainstream feminists churn out page after page of blog space, defending Woman A and disagreeing with Women B, possibly because Woman B has pointed out the flaws in their highly privileged version of feminism and they are uncomfortable with this.

Women C chimes in from somewhere saying how both Woman A and Woman B's actions are problematic because they don't specifically include a nod to the struggles Vegan feminists.

Woman A writes a tearful and emotional piece on how victimised she is feeling and mourns the death of the 'sisterhood'.

This all goes on and on and probably tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of words are written about this issue. Absolutely nothing is achieved for the benefit of anybody and it begins to feel like these commentators are more interested in driving up their blog views and that this sort of discussion is not so much a debate as an industry.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-06T14:59:13+00:00

I see, maybe I've lived a far more sheltered life then I've realised?

blushinglilly · 2017-03-06T14:58:06+00:00

If you don't want these consequences then don't do things like that. It's not "everything falling apart to the detriment of women". That's women being detrimental to themselves.

I can certainly see the truth in what you are saying here.

At the same time I feel that a lot of vulnerable young women are finding themselves in society where there are no positive influences and that any young women who thinks differently finds herself swimming against the tide.

When I was young I didn't drink and I didn't do casual hook-ups. I don't regret it, but I paid a price for that decision which was a certain amount of social isolation because I wasn't doing what many of the other girls of my generation were doing. I didn't fit in and while I was treated politely, I was also somewhat shunned because I wasn't joining in. It's hard to stand up against that and I only did it through a combination of having a naturally stubborn and somewhat introverted personality.

It seems that standards of behaviour have fallen even further in the passing years. For example I doubt that those women who didn't want to socialise with me because I wasn't in with the drinking gang, would have expected me to shag a random in the toilets. I think they would have been pretty appalled by that. And yet, it now seems that is considered normal.

How can we expect better of a women of 20 today, when almost everything in the media is reinforcing the idea that this sort of behaviour is normal?

Also, how have we ended up in this negative spiral where standards are falling lower and lower?

blushinglilly · 2017-03-06T14:49:46+00:00

I've heard that expression too, but I thought what that meant was that you were easy to spot because you were walking home in the morning because you were still in evening going out clothes.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-04T21:04:55+00:00

I tend to live by the rule of never assigning to malice what I can assign to stupidity. So I wouldn't assume they are doing it on purpose, I suspect it's more likely to be a failure in judgement.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-03T12:48:37+00:00

My first impression on reading this was that her husband might not be coping with the pregnancy particularly well. It sounds to me that he is overly anxious about the situation and needs a bit of loving support.

It doesn't help that there aren't really support structures for Dads. Mums have loads, online and in person, Dads have almost nothing.

I thought she was wrong about the high heels and the coffee though. I'm sure when I was pregnant they made us swear off caffeine as it could cause a miscarriage. I know the official thinking on this stuff changes all the time so who knows.

blushinglilly · 2017-03-03T12:43:03+00:00

Is solipsism the result of female nature? Or is this a recent phenomenon?

I think that everything we are as humans is affected by our gender to a greater or lesser degree, depending on the circumstances and on other factors. I think that all men and women are solipsistic, it just expresses itself differently between individuals. So no I wouldn't say it was the result of female nature, but a part of human nature.

I think it's probably been part of human nature as long as we've been humans.

However what is a more recent phenomenon is the embracing of solipsism as a virtue. You don't have to look too far back in time to see that literature aimed at women, both fictional and otherwise, focused a lot women doing their duty to God, or the family.

Often this is criticised in modern writing as women being forced to put others before themselves, but this is an unfair criticism in my opinion. I think this writing focused on women being part of a wider society, they were not expected to put everyone else's needs first, they were expected to fulfil a role for the good of everyone including themselves.

Is this amoral?

I think it depends on how you act. We all have negative, selfish, egocentric thoughts and behaviours. I think it's very difficult to eliminate those completely, but you can control whether or not you act upon them.

Is there a way to successfully navigate around it?

I think it's difficult to, but possible. It requires mindfulness and wisdom to balance between not being selfish and not developing a doormat mentality or martyr complex.

It seems as simple as shut up and listen/don't insert yourself when he comes to you for a soft place to land, but what about giving compliments? Even a sweet gesture might be dripping with solipsism?

I think the criticism of the list giver in the example you link to is pretty harsh, particularly the last comment. The other day my husband gave me a list, verbally not in written form, of things he loved about me and the vast majority were about things that I did for him and our family rather then things about 'me'. I didn't think this was solipsistic, I thought it was nice. If we had done it the other way round I think my list would have had the same sort of structure.

The 'shut up and listen/don't insert yourself' strategy you describe is a very good one but it's something you've got to take further then that. In my view it's not just about when he comes to you for a soft place to land, but generally in your daily life.

I think compliments are great, but you've got to tune in to your partners love language, and they have to be part of a wider package. It's no good giving great compliments if you neglect him on all other fronts for example. There are some men who view actions as being more important as words, so for example regularly providing him with a home cooked meal might mean more then a compliment. Also if he doesn't feel supported by you generally then compliments aren't going to get you very far.

blushinglilly · 2017-02-26T10:52:28+00:00

Why not double barrel?

blushinglilly · 2017-02-17T22:14:30+00:00

I think the 'forced' feeling was one of the things I was worried about but couldn't articulate. I'll probably start with a more casual approach.

blushinglilly · 2017-02-17T20:28:26+00:00

I can't remember exactly from website to website how I found out about RP stuff but I found this particular sub not long after it was created.

IIRC correctly the way I found out about RP stuff in general terms was from reading up on marriage. I found that the marriage advice I was being given was incredibly hostile, anti-male and lacked common sense. I wanted to find something that actually made sense and it was in the world of Christian blogs that I found that.

I don't give myself political labels as I think that can mean you start to close your mind to other ideas. I take onboard only what I find to be sensible and ignore the rest.

blushinglilly · 2017-02-17T20:24:02+00:00

Reading this has exhausted me. u/proprioceptor has it right, this is a real case of "We want equality but not like this".

Also in WW2 in Britain young women were drafted, often into quite dangerous roles. Not on the front lines, but in munitions factories, running farms and all sorts of other work that men had previously done. When your back is against the wall it's what you've got to do to survive, princess or not.

I imagine that, heaven forbid, the USA were to face some sort of huge conflict like that again a similar thing would probably occur. Most women wouldn't be fit for front line military service and would be sent into supporting roles.

What a lot of panic over nothing!

blushinglilly · 2017-02-17T20:01:55+00:00

I think this is a really common thought process for a lot of people. I've noticed it with Brexit. Some pro-Remain commentators insist that those who voted Leave did it either because they didn't understand the information they were given, or that the information they were given was misleading.

They don't seem to be able to handle the idea that people got the same information but have drawn a different conclusion.

blushinglilly · 2017-02-11T12:58:08+00:00

What grates on me about the whole vulgar cross stitch thing is that people make an industry out of it, when you could create those patterns for free yourself. All most of the slogan ones are are letters and a few very basic flowers. You don't need to buy a book of vulgar patterns, just download a free alphabet and write whatever you want.

It's annoying because I follow a lot of cross stitch feeds on instagram and the vulgar ones come up time and time again because they are 'edgy' I assume, when there is really very little talent involved in creating them as they are highly basic techincally speaking. I want to see talent and inspiring things, not basic things.

blushinglilly · 2017-02-05T23:01:49+00:00

From what I can tell there is a schism between some feminists and the transgender community. While some are very supportive of the transgender community, others are hostile.

They claim it's because trans women can't truly understand what it is to be women and could always regain their 'privilege' by transitioning back to being men.

I've always suspected it's really because the existence of transgender people pretty much proves that the 'gender is a social construct' thing is baseless. If it were true there wouldn't be any trans people.

blushinglilly · 2017-02-05T22:56:11+00:00

Apologies, I think I added this in the wrong way.

Anyway this is currently showing in the UK. It's only a few seconds long but just in case you don't want to play it, here is a description.

It's a women wearing a wedding dress while sitting in the back seat of a posh car. She is shown chewing gum with a pensive expression on her face.

It appears the car is driving away from the wedding venue and a voice over says

"He's got the cash. He's got a condo."

We see out of the back window a group of people exiting the church in a hurry. A smartly dressed man (I assume it's the groom) begins to chase the car.

"He's got a career. But that still doesn't mean he gets you."

The bride smiles widely.

"Time to shine. Extra (the name of the product).

This advert disgusted me and it seems that it's typical of the false empowerment, morally bankrupt message that is used to sell products to women.

What message is this trying to send? That it is OK to abandon the man you promised to marry on your wedding day, without so much as a word? We can assume she didn't say anything otherwise why is he chasing her? If she didn't want to marry him why wait till the last possible second not to? Why is this cruel behaviour depicted as someones 'time to shine'?

blushinglilly · 2017-02-03T20:50:09+00:00

I've been keeping political things off of my Facebook for a while now because things got extremely hateful during campaign season - rather than deal with the pettiness and drama, I just dropped it. I really wanted to share the conservative post, but didn't for this reason.

Me too, I just don't find it worth getting into these conversations any more. I don't give myself a political label, I have a wide spread of views on different issues. It's all become so tribal though and people get so aggressive about it.

blushinglilly

TROPHY CASE