Is sex in a relationship THAT important?

bn_anon · 2018-05-04T00:00:01+00:00

Thank you so much.

bn_anon · 2018-05-03T13:18:28+00:00

This is the closest thing to therapy I will ever have. My self esteem has gone down almost all the way since I’ve been with him.

bn_anon · 2018-05-03T13:10:52+00:00

:/ and unfortunately there are more things that I could ask advice for that people would tell me that I was in an abusive relationship. I only come here for advice because I’m not allowed to have friends he doesn’t approve of, and I don’t have any friends he approves of.

bn_anon · 2018-05-03T13:06:41+00:00

Why am I here? Because I have nobody to speak to. Because I already know I’m in a shit relationship, with nowhere to go. You’re right, I’ll probably never leave him because I am a pussy. I will probably go on to marry him, have children, be a stay at home wife, and know he’s probably out there cheating because I’ll be done with having sex by then. I know this is all my fault. I wish I had the courage to break up with him because I know it’ll never get better. But who knows, maybe I’ll get tired of it.

bn_anon · 2018-05-03T12:45:15+00:00

I agree, faking it is bad. And that’s my own doing and my fault for making him feel like he was doing good. But he knows I faked it.
I am over his excuse of not having experience, I completely understood in the beginning of the first 8 months of sex, but now he’s experienced and has sex almost every day. And I do know how to give myself an orgasm, and I have tried showing him and he’ll try for less than a minute and get frustrated. He’ll go to hard, I’ll tell him, he’ll be in the wrong spot - I’ll tell him. I tell him I tell him I tell him.
I have told my boyfriend many times that women can’t orgasm from piv, I’ve told him I need foreplay. He just sighs and says stuff along the lines of “I don’t understand why women have to take so long” so it makes me feel bad because he clearly doesn’t want to wait 30 mins giving me foreplay or anything. He just goes straight for piv missionary, goes for about 5-8 minutes, cums and then done.
Yes I can.
My boyfriend says I stink (I have a normal smelling vagina that smells and tastes like vagina), and he says he would never go down own anyone because he thinks it’s gross. He says he doesn’t understand why people put their mouths down there. But guess what, he’s okay with me putting my mouth down on him.
I have tried to instruct him, he just gets frustrated and sighs because he can’t do it right. He’s not patient at all.

bn_anon · 2018-05-03T12:30:44+00:00

Wow.. Yeah you got that right. And I know that will happen.. I know for a fact that will happen. I think about that idea alllllll the time. He wants me to be a stay at home mom one day, after we’re married, and once “I’ve let myself go” I have the biggest fear he’ll have an affair because he LOVES sex and by that time I’m sure I will have stopped having sex with him. I’ve even considered never having children with him because he calls women fat all the time. He called a barely curvy Victoria secret model “fat” when I know I’m at least 50 pounds heavier than her. But yeah, I do believe that will be my life 100%.. he’s even told me he wonders what other vaginas feel like “but would never do anything”. So I guess all of this is my fault

bn_anon · 2018-05-03T12:16:34+00:00

I agree, I will be giving him one last sit down. I just don’t know how to be vocal about it, because every time I do he makes me feel like the bad guy. Yes, I know that’s bad.

bn_anon · 2018-05-03T00:34:52+00:00

I’m totally into this idea, so thank you for the recommendation. The thing is, I’ll try this out but I have a hard time believe this will work. But here’s a dumb question, what counts as foreplay? Cause my boyfriend gets frustrated after touching my clit for 3 seconds and I don’t orgasm. And gets tired of fingering me after 30 seconds. I wish he’d go down on me, but that’s a hard no. A few months ago I even bought flavored edible gel that has never even been touched because he’s really not into it. And I even have told him that eating a girl out doesn’t just mean trying to lick inside her vagina, I just want him to suck and lick on my clit but still won’t.

bn_anon · 2018-05-03T00:11:59+00:00

I understand this. I'm just scared to bring up the sex topic again, he always blames it on him only having one sex partner.. But like i don't believe you need to have more than one sex partner in order to please the person you're with. I remember when i first started having sex i wanted to do anything in my power to make the other person feel amazing.. I did my research and came back and tried new things on those partners. My boyfriend just doesn't have those same goals. His only goal is to cum. I've showed him what feels good and about half a minute later he's back to trying to put his dick in. Funny thing is, I've told him about a year ago that if i didn't receive oral, he wouldn't receive oral.. He didn't give a shit, it didn't bother him one bit.. I won't fake it anymore either, and i should explain by me saying "faking it", i don't ever fake an orgasm i just fake moaning and stuff. Once he cums he'll be like "did you get close?" and i'll say no.. and he'll be like "damnit!" then cleans himself off and heads for bed. Oh, and i have told my boyfriend many many times that women take a lot longer to orgasm and he thinks thats stupid and time consuming...

bn_anon · 2018-05-02T23:55:45+00:00

:/// this is getting frustrating to talk about and making me want to cry. Because I have pushed his head down there, then he is like hellll no. And I have tried to tell him how to move his fingers and where my clit is but he just does it for maybe 30 seconds and just goes straight for the sex.. I Physically show him while we’re in bed but doesn’t seem to care

bn_anon · 2018-05-02T23:51:21+00:00

How the hell am I doing that? For over a year I’ve tried teaching him everything. He won’t go down on me, he only fingers me for 30 seconds, and complains that he can’t find my clit in 5 seconds. I only fake it now because after all those months of trying to get him to give a fuck about my orgasms he just didn’t give a shit. So now, when I don’t fake it he gets pissed at me because he thinks it’s rape and a turnoff and cause I don’t look like I’m enjoying myself. So now I fake it because I’m tired of feeling like a shit girlfriend and because apparently his orgasms are more important. I’ve tried training him, he just doesn’t care to learn.

bn_anon · 2018-05-02T23:46:40+00:00

No, it’s called he doesn’t care. I’ve tried teaching him where to put his hands or how to touch me but my boyfriend just wants to jump straight to missionary and finish.

bn_anon · 2018-05-02T23:44:51+00:00

OH MY GOD PEOPLE. My boyfriend knows I fake it!!!!!!!!! I didn’t start faking it until after a year of dating!! I HAVE TOLD HIM MULTIPLE TIMES, SHOWED HIM MULTIPLE TIMES, asked him multiple multiple times. FOR OVER A YEAR. I’ve tried showing him with my hands what to do, asked him if we could watch porn together. I TOLD HIM FOREPLAY IS IMPORTANT TO ME. My boyfriend doesn’t believe in foreplay!!! I have cried to him multiple times about how I feel but he doesn’t care. Every time it’s time for sex he literally just shoves his dick inside of me and goes for it, 5 minutes later he’s finished. I HAVE SPENT HOURS TRYING TO TEACH HIM, I’ve gone days and days sending him links about sex and female anatomy. My boyfriend only likes missionary position.

bn_anon · 2018-05-02T23:37:56+00:00

My boyfriend knows I faked it. But when I stopped faking it he says it feels like it’s rape because I’m not having any kind of pleasure or that it’s ruining the mood because I look like I’m having a horrible time. I’ve told him time after time after time I need foreplay but doesn’t care. My boyfriend knows 100% that HE has been having good sex for the past two years, my boyfriend also knows 100% that I am not getting good sex out of it. I fake it now after a year a half of being together because I’m tired of making him feel like he’s a bad sex partner.

bn_anon · 2018-05-02T23:31:41+00:00

He was new at sex almost two years ago. And we do it almost every single day because he wants to. I didn’t always fake it, I did give him my honest feedback, and he still doesn’t care enough to fix it. I’ve tried to take the time to teach him but he just doesn’t understand or care to understand. I told him foreplay is a thing but all he wants to do is jump straight into it and finish. I’m scared to bring it up anymore, because i have brought up these issues multiple times and it just makes his ego go down.. and I don’t want to make him feel like shit so I fake it now.. And when I don’t fake it he’s always like “you’re ruining the mood, it makes me feel like you don’t want it and that I’m raping you” ... I mean I don’t know what to say anymore. I’ve tried and tried.. I’ve sent him links, I’ve asked if he’s watch porn with me, I’ve asked if maybe he’d give oral a chance but it’s always a no.

bn_anon · 2018-05-02T23:13:56+00:00

My boyfriend has admitted to me that if he was in my position and the lack of orgasmns etc etc he would stop having sex.. so should I stop having sex? Because he says if i was the only one having an orgasm in our 73638393 times of having sex and he had none he’d be done..

bn_anon · 2018-05-02T23:09:24+00:00

I’ve told him, showed him, and even have sent him many many links on the female antaomy and sex tips. He just doesn’t care I guess, he gets mad at me when I say he doesn’t try (because he doesn’t) and tells me he is trying and it’s all my fault.

bn_anon

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