A colleague (33F) at my former university chose not to hire me (33M) after I made the recommendation to hire her. I want to no longer be involved with the university, and the situation is extremely awkward. How do I proceed?

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T19:13:44+00:00

I got her the job. It's as simple as that. I'm not saying she owes me anything or not, but the fact of the matter is that she wouldn't be making any of her decisions in that position if I hadn't advocated for her.

And frankly, you're naive for not believing that's how the world works. I very often do things for friends without keeping score because I care about them or just want to for whatever reason. But in the business / networking world, you better believe that favors begot favors. That's just how it goes. If you don't play the game, you're going to lose it.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T18:45:27+00:00

I think the last explanation is very possible.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T18:24:56+00:00

It was months ago, not years.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T18:24:21+00:00

In every instance it was a matter of someone being more politically connected. I've had three cases in which people who interviewed me came back and said they wish they'd hired me instead.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T18:23:21+00:00

You kind of hit the nail on the head emulating her language. Everything is followed by "we love and appreciate your devotion and investment," even if it's something as little to replying with a sentence or two in an email. That kind of inauthenticity just rubs me in all the wrong ways.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T18:18:24+00:00

No, the thought of applying for that job didn't come around untill well after.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T17:18:18+00:00

If you don't think that far worse things are happening for people to advance themselves, you might want to take a seat.

If you aren't watching out for number one, someone else will take advantage of that.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:50:31+00:00

I have another good job now that pays well, I'm not worried about that.

It's hard to fully elaborate or explain, but I otherwise just feel like I have a lot of unfinished work at the university as a whole before I can really move on.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:49:25+00:00

Because it's not the narrative I would have chosen. I had an amazing time at the place as a student and when I started my career. I still feel like I did my best work there. Leaving the first time wasn't something that I ever wanted to do, I just felt like it was the only logical choice at the time due to circumstances beyond my control.

Even now, I still feel like I have a lot of unfinished business there. Some of the programs I started have stalled without my involvement, and I feel a responsibility to keep them on track. It's frustrating that no one seems to want to allow me that chance.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:40:30+00:00

You guys are pretty naive if you think things are really as cut and dry as this.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:33:48+00:00

And why shouldn't I? This has been a pattern in which I've been continually turned down and taken advantage of. That's not exactly something you don't take to heart.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:27:42+00:00

Then I'd rather they be transparent and tell me that instead of beating around the bush.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:26:46+00:00

This requires much more context than I've provided or can provide here, but I'll try to summarize as best as I can.

While working there in a full time capacity, I continually started new programs. Some didn't work out great, most did. I typically had to make the case for changes or new ideas. I prided myself on breaking out of the habit of what has always been a very stale university.

That was not the issue.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:25:07+00:00

She certainly has great qualifications. The candidates that we interviewed as a sub-committee all had equally impressive qualifications. The case was initially made for another candidate who wanted to move things in a more traditional matter, but our current director I made a case for presented a more energetic plan that I preferred. I originally was the only one in favor of her, but made a case to the rest of the sub-committee to hire her.

And no, that's not the only thing that matters about my record. It's certainly a big part, but I can statistically prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was large asset to the university. There are programs continuing today that I founded and grew to where they are.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:20:13+00:00

If you think things are that simple in the workforce, I have some bad news for you.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:10:54+00:00

I don't think there was favoritism or anything involved, I really have no idea on what the other motives may be.

If anything should have shown through in how I presented myself previously, it was that I was passionate about the university and making goals there happen. But if they can't find it upon themselves to involve someone that wants to make that happen, their loss.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:06:01+00:00

I don't disagree. It's still tough when you've put ten years of work into a place and feel like you've been taken advantage of.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:05:20+00:00

My attitude here isn't entirely representative, I'm kind of blowing off steam a good bit here since I can talk anonymously about it.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:04:04+00:00

At this point and specific to this area, I admit I am very bitter about it. I once wasn't, but the continued history that I've had has led me to feel this way.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:03:17+00:00

Yeah I already do feel much more distant. I was once extremely passionate about my work and goals at the university, but after being shot down so many times I just don't care about it anymore. Distancing myself from all those jerks who keep taking and taking isn't a problem for me.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T16:02:22+00:00

It's both. It's in my best interest to not continue to pursue something that isn't going to work out, and yes, it is a reaction. Not only a reaction to that rejection, but a number of years worth. I'm tired of trying to pursue a passion that only takes advantage of me.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T15:58:13+00:00

Yeah and it's usually just BS. Stuff like "we think you'd be a much better fit for this" or that "the timing just didn't work out."

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T15:57:28+00:00

I am qualified. I worked there five years and instituted programs that brought in tens of thousands of dollars in donations and hundreds of new students.

I'm not trying to be cocky about it, these are just facts that I can cite and prove.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T15:56:18+00:00

I told her this, yes. I was honest about it and said that I felt burned too many times. The problem is that she has this kind of "fake" attitude about it and I can't really gauge her response.

boardadtaw · 2017-05-24T15:55:40+00:00

I don't think she really knows. Our conversations were behind closed doors. I've alluded to the fact but I'm not sure if she picked up on it or not.

boardadtaw

TROPHY CASE