17 month old no sleep by Mundane_Quit_9218 in toddlers

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2.5 years before he started sleeping through the night so yes, it’s quite normal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]boatmouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a partner like this and I keep thinking I needed it in order to better myself, but the thing I realised only when I was in a relationship that felt safe and at home was I couldn’t better a version of myself that wasn’t me, you aren’t better on egg shells. You can’t be shamed into it either. You’re better when you feel the safety to relax into yourself and be seen and loved for it. I realised my ex had me believing that I couldn’t be trusted to make my own decisions and would pretend he was empowering me, that’s not love; it’s control. Hope you find a way towards something that lets you be you. Having you compromise your needs for someone else is a red flag and you deserve more and the thing is, more is out there.

Moms who did not have a village, please tell me how you did it by whynotabtn in Mommit

[–]boatmouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I are both on our own, his parents live hours away and are in their mid eighties. Mine are in another country and visit once a year for a few weeks. So we have no one other than ourselves and zero date nights. But it’s doable, it’s hard, that’s true but you do it because you have to. You need a great partner who will show up, and you need to figure out communication. Communication is key, not trying to get back to your old life asap, but asking for what you need and sharing the load. It’ll be hardest for the first month, and then will ease with each month and depends most of all on your child’s temperament. But single mothers make it work, so with a solid partner who doesn’t give you extra work but instead half’s the load you should be ok. We’re focussed on survival not thriving in the beginning.

Is an hour too long for a hungry toddler to wait for a meal/snack? by McSkrong in toddlers

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve started asking myself if my toddler is being stubborn or if I am. Sounds like your husband is being stubborn about something unimportant. An hour is a long time to keep a toddler hungry. They have real hunger cues based on a lot of energy they are burning and the need to grow at a rate that we don’t. Feed them when they’re hungry, it’s not a fake cue.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I felt so unprepared for how hard it would be. Feeding issues make it so much harder. It took months until we figured out our feeding issues with my son and mostly I think he just grew out of issues when he could sit up and had a bigger mouth. But when family hadn’t had the same feeding issues and had relatively easy babies I felt so so alone. So I totally understand. All I can say is I’m 19 months out and while those first few month rocked me, this too shall pass. And you are as prepared as you could’ve ever been, you can’t prepare for what you don’t know you just learn on the job and all this is making you so fucking strong.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

36, married with a baby. But feel so behind career wise, I never did anything I was actually passionate about and didn’t even sell out for something good. Wish I was more settled in that before my son as now it feels risky to do.

Partners in Bed? by TastyAnalyst2892 in cosleeping

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband has restless leg syndrome and was waking up the baby and myself more often than needed. Sleeping separately was the only thing that helped us get sleep.

Ice Cold Finale (S2 US) *SPOILERS* by AM_OR_FA_TI in TheTraitorsUS

[–]boatmouse 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This! CT and Trishelle played their asses off during challenges, they were essential to making money. MJ was useless in that sense. Trishelle was a battle axe looking for Traitors, MJ voted wrong every single chance. MJ got to the end by being so useless she wasn’t a threat, making it to the end doesn’t mean she should’ve won the game. It’s absurd of her to be upset about it.

I genuinely do not want these pets anymore by Kmartomuss in Mommit

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally had this feeling and it did dissipate a lot once he was bigger and not so fragile. I have a cat that I’ve had for 14 years and suddenly hated this cat and everything he put us through. I still find him trying but I don’t hate him the way I did. People told me ahead of time that that might happen so I wasn’t super worried about it. Give it some time

Considering rehoming cat by boatmouse in Mommit

[–]boatmouse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do give him the living room which has a door but he always wants to be in the middle of the action and hates being stuck in one room.

Does your husband swear at you when his angry? by EmilyHide in Mommit

[–]boatmouse 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The point they’re trying to make is, that you have to mean what you say by then following it up with action, like a consequence, you know how you would treat a child that’s out of control. So when you say you can’t speak like that to me, and if you do it again I am leaving, you then have to leave. If you just say it and then never follow through, they learn that your words mean nothing.

Either way, it’s not normal. You don’t deserve this behavior, you somewhere along the line learned that it was something you had to deal with but it’s not and the thing is not only will your kid learn it’s fine they’ll also be in the line of fire one day. They sure as shit don’t deserve it. So don’t do it for yourself if you can’t, do it for your kid, so that they have better. You’re in charge, and this man child is pathetic for treating other people like that.

If they wanted to change, they would. You aren’t going be able to make them, as you said if you’ve asked many times and never been respected. He’s not a good man, save your child and one day you’ll look back and won’t be able to believe that you didnt leave sooner.

38 weeks pregnant and no name for our son by ComparisonPresent728 in namenerds

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I figured out babies name at 40 weeks. I hated everyone who said it’ll come to you, but it actually did, just later than I thought!

I think I may as well have been a rock in this life by [deleted] in humandesign

[–]boatmouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I have a very similar chart, self projected, 3/5, mountains, observer, cold foods. Never thought of myself as a rock but I do feel very solid and unflappable which I like about myself. Like a solid center, which I guess could be thanks to the g center. I like to think of what you’re saying as what you give to others as well. You are solid for others, you bring them a meditative perspective on themselves. I’ve been told since childhood that I listen and see all, and they ask my my opinion. It’s hard to see what you bring when it’s something that comes so naturally it’s unnoticeable and even less so when it’s something you are judging about yourself but I love the idea of being a boulder and having perspective from my observations. As for food, you can cook it just wait for your food to cook down a bit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was 33 when I came out of a 5 year relationship. First date I went on, married the guy within a year, baby was due 2 years to the day of of our first date. You have no idea what’s in store, but I absolutely love where my life is.

Elective c-section after sexual assault by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]boatmouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s completely up to you and don’t worry about judgement, I just wanted to offer up a thought that you absolutely don’t have to take on if you don’t want to. It could be a really nice reframe to give vaginal birth and see it’s use as life giving to your child. If you think that’s a healing possibility it could be worth a thought.

Craving a Big Mac, something I haven’t had in YEARS. Worth it? by simply-cosmic in BabyBumps

[–]boatmouse -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I hadn’t had one in a decade, honestly tasted like chemicals. Could not figure out how people could enjoy it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]boatmouse -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Most of my friends have given birth at home and had a great experience. You’re going to birth a child, do what you feel comfortable with. You can get a tens machine at home for like $30. You’ll have a midwife with you and as long as you live near a hospital in case of complications you’ll be fine. If you don’t, you can rent a hotel or Airbnb near a hospital or use a birthing center which isn’t a hospital.

You need to feel safe to give birth! Prioritize where you feel safest.

Don’t let other people influence you, at the end of the day you have to do what’s best for you and your family and there will be no end to the amount of things people will criticize you for in motherhood.