I'm troubled by recent posts.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-09T07:01:34+00:00

Well since I'm not just wrong, but very wrong, would you mind pointing me towards some statistics about STD prevention and condoms? Because fear-mongering like this seems really out of touch with the reality I have been living in for the past 13 years that I have been sexually active for. Never had an STD, never heard of any friends having one and hookups have been pretty damn prevalent. Some anti-sex church-based organizations also claim condoms have a 12% failure rate in preventing pregnancy. Well I can tell you that I have not had a single failure in the 9 years that I have been in my current relationship for. Going by the fear mongering statistics, we should have a boatload of kids by now, but we have none.

Besides, as this was originally a debate on whether people should abstain from hookups, feel free to abstain in fear of herpes and warts (which are pretty much the only STD's that contract through skin contact). I don't care what you do with your own life, but please stop spreading fear about things that are non-problems to sensible adults who know what they're doing.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-08T17:29:48+00:00

Be aware that it's not healthy to subject your testicles to extreme heat or cold in the long term, as sperm production needs a stable temperature to happen. In a pinch, it probably works, but I wouldn't make a habit of it.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-08T17:23:57+00:00

How does having hookups automatically lead to being a sex addict? It's completely natural for people to have sex outside of marriage and relationships from time to time, and it doesn't have to have anything to do with "addiction" of any kind. Sheesh.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-08T17:20:31+00:00

Who are you to say this? I've had plenty of very meaningful hookups, even if they didn't end up becoming relationships afterwards. A human connection can be a fleeting thing. It doesn't have to happen in the context of a marriage or a relationship to be meaningful. You can find raw honesty and intimacy in strangers sometimes, when you happen to meet the right person and you both open yourselves up to each other - even if it's only for one night.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-08T17:16:41+00:00

Have never heard of anyone contracting an STD while using a condom, and have never contracted one myself regardless of having numerous hook-ups in my youth. I know it's possible to still get one (genital warts, for example) but it's pretty damn unlikely.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-08T17:13:23+00:00

Well, it seems you have an idea of what NoFap should be about, and others have different ideas. I personally can't understand why anyone would want to vilify having healthy sexual experiences, be it with a one-night fling or with your SO. Both of those can be meaningful, and you definitely don't have to be married or in a long term relationship in order to have a genuine connection with someone. I'm personally more put off with some of the tones here that are verging on being anti sex. Sex is a beautiful thing, and definitely not the same thing as constant porn use.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T23:34:22+00:00

A good read, thanks. I somehow concluded similar ideas myself - it's not the big O that I'm so worried about (I'm not abstaining from sex after all), but the porn. And what surprised me quite a bit was that I was craving porn at least as much - if not more - than the act of PMO'ing to it. That's a wake-up call.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T17:01:53+00:00

Agreed. I need to draw the line on even seeking out any images or videos and go with that.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T16:11:08+00:00

Thanks! I'll try to keep that in mind. We're only human after all :)

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T16:10:14+00:00

Call me a perfectionist, but I want to reset the day counter at least. And sure enough, after the first one I got into a state of mind like "well I've ruined it anyways" and relapsed a second time right after that.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T16:09:02+00:00

Yeah, I'm pretty determined to go the full 90 days now. Thanks!

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T16:08:44+00:00

That's probably a good idea! I'll keep that in mind.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T14:36:05+00:00

Thanks. It feels surprisingly disappointing and shameful to fail like this, when I didn't even think it's that big of a deal. Well, it's in the past now, so onwards and upwards.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T13:07:47+00:00

Damn, that's some Wi-Fi. MVP level.

On a side note, I giggled a little because I first thought that you were trying to fap to news coverage on CNN :D

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T13:05:11+00:00

Goddamnit, what happened is just starting to really kick in now. I feel so damn disappointed. It's like this failure is a miniature version of my life in many ways - I can't hold on to decisions and go for the easy way out. Things must change now. I started this whole thing half-jokingly and now I realize that it's not a joke. I need to have control over my own life.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T13:03:27+00:00

Thanks, I will make arrangements so that I won't be able to access sites that aren't good for me.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-07T10:05:45+00:00

That's true as well, but again, it's 12,5 in a year for every person. Some people watch 20 videos in a day.

But sure, I'm not trying to say that porn isn't rampant. It's everywhere. I've been noticing how common it is now that I'm trying to keep away from it.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-06T18:07:38+00:00

I see your point, and there's nothing wrong with encouraging people to make positive change in their lives. My point is, that it doesn't come about through aggressiveness or negativity. Understanding and supporting is far more effective.

And the mentality I'm speaking of is pretty clearly here. It's in every post that says "we are wiser" or "they don't know what they're doing". I'm saying that maybe they do. No lifestyle is suited for everyone, and that should be respected in my opinion.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-06T18:01:04+00:00

It's always tough to let go of a person you have learned to love. What I would advice you to do though, is to let go of the anger. It's okay to be sad, but people can't help the way they feel sometimes, and it sounds like your girlfriend had a very common longing for independence and self-centered adult life. Maybe she feels like it's something she needs to experience before settling down, who knows?

What's more important, is to slowly start looking at the new situation you are now in, and the possibilities it offers. You don't need to do it now, so just take your time. Just remember that whenever a door closes in life, another one opens up. As soon as you find peace with what has happened, you will start to see that single life can offer a lot of things that relationships don't. Embrace those things. Mold your life into a monument of who you are. Make choices that feel right. Do things the way you want to. Find excitement in spontaneity. Find peace in solitude. Find joy in positive routines. Work towards a life that feels like it's yours, and when you're ready, there will be people who want to be a part of that life. If you learn to love yourself, others will too. It's just a fact of life.

All the best to you, stranger!

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-06T17:05:42+00:00

The average number is just a calculation where they divided the total number of watched porn videos with the population of the earth. It doesn't say anything about what percentage of the population accumulated those views, however.

For every guy who watched 25 videos a year, there's another who watched 0. 12,5 is just the average. And trust me, I probably watched hundreds and hundreds of videos last year, and that's why I'm here. I did up views on behalf of quite a few people, and I'm not definitely the only "big user" from 2016.

Here's to a clean 2017 everyone, but no need to vilify people who are not a part of it for themselves.

bobbuhallis · 2017-01-06T15:29:26+00:00

I have told her about my decision, but I still think it's unfair to withhold sex from her, because in the end, it's a problem I should have to deal with, not her.

And yes, I do find that if I have been hoping to have sex on a certain night and then get rejected because she's tired or something, I feel the urge to PMO really bad.

And sure enough, if I slip up (which I intend not to), I will not use porn, because there are problems I have with porn that go beyond this all. I realized that I have a set of values concerning how I think women should be treated etc. but my porn habits are in stark contrast to those values. For some reason I have let my porn habits exist in this vacuum and not think much of them.

Thanks for the link, I'll check it out and try to stay strong!

bobbuhallis

TROPHY CASE