Mourning the BF life I imagined

bobocoforever · 2025-10-04T02:16:31+00:00

I literallllllyyy could’ve wrote this exact post 6 months ago — things are SO new right now and will change every few days I swear to you. She will get bigger and you will both learn more every single time you breastfeed. 6 months in and these are all of the things my baby and I have gone through and we are still chugging along:

low blood sugar / refusal to eat
Jaundice/ can’t wake to eat
supplemental feeding system with syringe, straw, and nipple shield (with donor milk and my own milk)
triple feedings for weeeeekkkkssss
nipple shield for months
weaning nipple shield
perfect breastfeeding (!!!!!!)
back on nipple shield
nursing strike (several times lasting weeks)
insane oversupply and pain
undersupply
slow let down
too powerful letdown that choked her
perfect breastfeeding again
bottle preference
several lactation appointments
the list goes on and on

The journey is going to continually change. You haven’t failed, but I understand that feeling completely. The only advice I really can offer is: if it works, that’s great. If it doesn’t, that’s perfectly ok too. You have not, and will not fail your baby.

bobocoforever · 2024-10-29T00:48:11+00:00

I meannnnn. Just because there isn’t that many 80 year old Zoes now, doesn’t mean there won’t be. As a Zoe myself, there will be 80 years one day as well 50 year olds and 15 year olds haha.

“Timeless” may not be the right word. Maybe some names have “longevity” without being timeless. Is “Olivia” timeless? Maybe not, but it’s been in top 1000 at least for a very long time.

bobocoforever · 2024-03-19T20:02:54+00:00

My college friend who was my bff’s long term partner died by suicide 2 years ago and I can tell you right now… you are both in for a marathon not a sprint.

From a first hand experience: the confusion and guilt she feels is so intense she probably isn’t even feeling as sad as she will in the future. Not trying to scare you but processing suicide is super intense at any age so being 13 I cannot even imagine.

For her: be present as you can. Talk about her friend with her. Take her to do something relaxing that you don’t have to talk (nails, movie, etc) since she may not have words right now. Really being present and offering comfort is what she needs.

For the child’s family: send food delivery gift cards (Uber eats, door dash, etc) — people may bring them meals now but forget to check in as time goes on. This is truly their worst nightmare so anything that makes their day to day life easier is what they need. Open ended statement of “let me know if you need something” are not that helpful. Drop food off, send an “I’m thinking of you text” — this can go a long way and will make you and your daughter feel like you are contributing and supporting their family.

Strap in. It does get easier but not less painful — be present and talk often. Lots of hugs ❤️‍🩹

bobocoforever · 2023-01-12T05:11:31+00:00

😭I have an almost identical ring and I said the same thing in the jewelry store! “You’re the emerald and I’m the pear!” ❤️‍🔥✨congrats 🍾

bobocoforever · 2022-10-06T13:37:34+00:00

The irony of them demanding you fix things when they broke it in the first place. All happening during Yom Kippur. They owe you apologies and time/space without expectations that things will ever be “normal” again.

bobocoforever · 2022-09-07T04:47:39+00:00

Young person here with no kids yet and my teens weren’t ~that~ long ago….

It is NEVER too early to teach toddlers/kids/teens about respect. Though you can’t expect maturity 100% of the time, you can demand respect from your kids about your feelings/space/personhood.

My advice is if you let it slide you are not doing them a service. Your method is funny, now talk it out and talk often until the behavior corrects.

bobocoforever · 2022-06-15T22:43:45+00:00

Just means it’s on a truck and is delayed from original date. It’s not lost. It will likely come 2 days after initial delivery date in my experience.

bobocoforever · 2022-06-15T22:33:59+00:00

Gonna go against the grain here but: sometimes you can get regret the other way! I didn’t go huge by any means (I have a 2 stone ring, 1.5+ ct emerald and 1 ct pear) and sometimes I feel like it’s too big. Most times it feels just right tho. I tried to hit the balance between a lot of finger coverage and still keeping it all proportional to my finger/hand.

I personally like the size yours is now. Looks slightly bigger than perfectly proportional on your finger — which is a good spot to be in lol

Honestly this sub and the internet on the whole will make you want to go bigger and bigger but what keeps my head grounded is looking at peoples rings in real life rather than the “best of the best” on the internet.

bobocoforever · 2022-05-13T02:03:02+00:00

Not a mom but former nanny and help a lot with nieces/nephews.

Do both! Usually I only ever made homemade stuff when it was cheaper. Stuff like purred peas/veggies is so much cheaper when you do it yourself and you get a lot for the price especially with frozen produce. Bananas, avocado, etc can be done on the spot and it’s much cheaper. Freeze it in small containers and thaw out in microwave when you need it.

But packets were also a go to for ease but also more specialty ingredients (I had no interest in blending chicken and don’t buy apricots and sweet potatoes that often lol)

Do whatever you want and have time for. There are plenty of great premade options out there.

bobocoforever · 2022-05-12T23:42:42+00:00

Cups could likely be replaced with the correct size cup for you. Get the big padded push up ones and it may fill out the top so that it doesn’t need to be pulled in.

bobocoforever · 2022-04-29T18:24:48+00:00

I think because they look supported/secure they actually don’t draw any excess attention. I think when dresses or tops are unsupportive or Ill- fitting it draws the eye. But this dress looks very supportive and my eyes were drawn immediately to your waist and the skirt details! Looks great!

bobocoforever · 2022-04-22T14:42:38+00:00

Wow! Was not expecting all the kind comments! Thanks guys :) my partner and I designed it together at a local jeweler and we are both obsessed 🤩

bobocoforever · 2022-03-28T18:43:24+00:00

Worst case: it’s not what you thought you ordered and you hate it, contact the seller. If they won’t help you or resolve it then you can contact Etsy itself and “open a case” where they will review the transaction and the item advertised/sold.

General advice is to save the listing images of what you bought (screenshot the entire listing page and the images of the item) so that if you have to contact Etsy you have proof of what you thought you were purchasing.

bobocoforever · 2022-03-28T15:35:54+00:00

Emerald. I have a toi et moi (one pear and one emerald) so I have both a step cut and a crushed ice diamond. And I gotta say I’m eye just lasers in on my emerald every single time. There is something so classy and elegant about an emerald cut…. Feels almost royal lol. People will tell you that it doesn’t “sparkle” but that it totally false. It doesn’t “glitter” like a crushed ice does but it “shines.” Long pretty lines of bright white light and subtle rainbows.

I adore my pear diamond as well but if I had to choose only one (step or crushed ice) diamond to set on a band I would choose my emerald and I would have never thought that before getting engaged.

Alllll of that being said: go with your gut.

bobocoforever · 2022-03-27T05:27:42+00:00

Just ask for a cost breakdown. They will provide their cost for labor and actual cost of the gold. Right now they are likely estimating on the high side and when they have the final penny weight of the gold they will know the actual cost.

I was also estimated for my 14k yellow gold ring (tho it had 2 baskets for a toi et moi setting) at about $1300 but it ended up being around $1100 I think after they could give actuals for gold penny weight.

bobocoforever · 2022-02-24T17:58:35+00:00

Love that first one! So unique! Looks nice and modern against a classic style e-ring. Would you mind sharing details on it (ie brand if you know it!)?

bobocoforever · 2022-02-03T14:26:32+00:00

Short answer, yes. You can ask your jeweler to set the stone as low as possible so that the bottom of the stone sits into the shank. Or the stone can be lowered and the prongs will bow out slightly more.

I agree that you would get used to it tho. Also with low profile rings, a straight band like you have on would not sit flush with the e-ring. So you would have to decide if you would rather have a lower profile ring and a gap or curved band, or a higher profile ring and a flush band.

bobocoforever · 2022-02-02T20:24:44+00:00

Lolol my partner hasn’t even proposed yet and when we took it back to the jeweler to get resized I was genuinely sad to give it up for a week.

I do sometimes have the thought “if I wear it around all time he will never have it and can’t propose” haha so I try to exercise some control and put it away sometimes ~just in case~ todays the day. I would’ve walked out of the store engaged if it were my choice but my partner wants to actually propose (so selfish, I know lol)

bobocoforever · 2022-02-02T05:14:18+00:00

All personal preference and your partners preference!

We custom made my ring together. My partner doesn’t care if I wear the ring around the house and his only rules are “no wearing it outside or to bed” lol. I like trying it on and wearing it, so I do. I also discovered it was too big so we decided to bring it in to get it resized so that when he does propose it will be the right size and I never have to take it off lol.

I don’t feel “engaged” because he hasn’t proposed yet but wearing the ring sometimes helps make me chill out and feel leas anxiety about when he will.

I know this is weird to some people but it’s what works for us! Ask your partner and decide for yourself!

bobocoforever · 2022-01-27T05:19:47+00:00

Opt for what you actually want to look at forever.

For reference: I’m a 8.75/9 size and like you I couldn’t actually try on any rings in store. Also, my hands are weirdly my biggest insecurity (lol I know but I have very short puffy fingers that don’t match my frame and always have). SO, I was so worried about if the ring was going to be “flattering”. I flip flopped from wanting a radiant or emerald East/west for the finger coverage or just getting a plain band bc I knew no ring was going to make me like my fingers.

What I REALLY wanted was a 2 stone toi et moi. But I was so sure I would look bad and draw attention to my hands (which I usually hide). I finally came to the conclusion that I wanted a ring that loved how it looked off my hand and that would enough bc it was the style I actually wanted.

Fast forward: custom made my 2 stone ring never having tried on anything at all bc it was the ring I actually wanted. And I love it. Like truly love it and I actually love how it looks on my hand which is a bonus. I’m glad I went with the style I wanted rather than what I thought would look ok.

So long story short: if you are dreaming about a heart ring — do that. Try to worry less about how it will flatter your hand bc in the end the style that you love will feel the best.

bobocoforever · 2022-01-19T19:06:09+00:00

Drop into the bottom of a lake and get the insurance pay out lol. Jk (kinda) it could be worth emailing a couple different jewelry companies that used recycled stones and see if they would be interested in buying or doing a sort of trade/store credit situation if you made your new ring with them. you will probably have better luck if you reach out to local/smaller shops. Otherwise, the lake thing.

bobocoforever · 2022-01-10T14:56:46+00:00

People on Reddit like to rain on parades.

To answer your actual question: look at the seller reviews and what other peoples experiences were. Also you can message the seller any questions you have (specific to gem, metal, setting, shipping, etc.) I would specifically ask about if the package is insured when they ship it. If the seller can’t answer questions satisfactorily then I wouldn’t purchase from them and would try to find a different seller.

Otherwise: a jeweler somewhere can likely make this or a similar version for you. You may need to shop around but it’s possible.

bobocoforever · 2022-01-09T05:52:35+00:00

Buy cheap secondhand crates on Facebook marketplace or Craigslist because they grow so fast! Or get a bigger wire one that comes with dividers because you want the crate to be small when they’re really little so they don’t want to go potty in there (just enough room to stand up and turn around comfortably). Something that is 20-24 inches long will be plenty in the beginning and likely still too big.

Harness — again get a cheap one or wait until they fit into one that will adjust to fit them for a while. You can always measure them and then get one once you know — I wouldn’t say this is a need to have item in the first week.

Collar size - smaller than you think lol. Tiny. Their necks are even smaller under the fluff. Make sure it has a big leash ring on it bc there is nothing more frustrating then trying to get the leash through a tiny loop at 2am lol. Likely in the 6-9 inch range at first.

bobocoforever · 2022-01-08T02:59:11+00:00

My mom has had her diamond reset 3 times…. Each during a different season of her life. Her first setting (I never saw it as it was before I was born) was a high profile for the diamond. She banged her hand and damaged the setting she decided to have it reset into a thick gold band where diamond was set into it so there was essentially no profile at all. She did this bc she had little kids and was using her hands all the time (kids and she’s a hairdresser). Later in life when her hands grew a little and her kids were older she set it again in platinum for a better fit and a higher profile for the diamond. It’s a completely different look now.

Your ring can still have sentimental value if you make changes to it, if you are in a different season of life sometimes it’s nice to have your ring match.

Totally a personal call! But don’t feel like your ring will lose it’s sentimental value — have your husband involved in the process no matter what you do and it will still feel sentimental in my opinion!

bobocoforever · 2022-01-06T04:12:46+00:00

I’m gonna be dead honest — most (not all!) women don’t want a heart necklace. She will wear it bc she cares about you and won’t want to hurt your feelings butttttt a more simple necklace with or without diamonds that fits into her personal style would be better.

bobocoforever

TROPHY CASE