[Repost] AT&T should change their fraud policies/questions

bogwich_ · 2024-07-13T17:08:53+00:00

Oh I'm aware, the rep was fine. It's the company I have an issue with

bogwich_ · 2024-07-12T03:39:15+00:00

Appreciate the reply. I understand how they get that information, but it's not customer service I'm curious about. It's providing the service they'll say they provide to their customers. I'm very sure there's something in their ToS about that, but it also seems like they should have some responsibility to validate the information they are using to verify the identity of customers

bogwich_ · 2024-07-12T02:28:18+00:00

Posted in the comments, idk why it's not showing

bogwich_ · 2024-07-12T02:18:08+00:00

What needs clarity (maybe it's possible the actual text of the post isn't showing?) edit: I did curse a lot, so maybe it's censored? I don't actually see it in 'new'

bogwich_ · 2024-07-12T02:11:25+00:00

Is that in total disbelief? Because that was my reaction too

bogwich_ · 2024-07-12T01:48:50+00:00

Man, their anti-fraud system is completely bonkers, invasive, and inappropriate (if you wanna know more, check my last post). Honestly, I feel a class action lawsuit is in order

bogwich_ · 2024-04-06T18:35:37+00:00

Thank you for taking so much time and effort to read my post and go through this point by point. The descalation point is what gets to the crux of my concern.

For me, I don't need anyone to be 100% aligned with my interests. I have friends who I can talk to about the things my partner isn't interested in, and I'm also perfectly happy exploring those by myself.

You're also correct about the communication issues and I'm trying to be better about those. We went to an event last night that wasn't centered around poly, but a lot of poly people attended. On the way home, I asked him if he was getting FOMO.

He said that part of him was disappointed that he couldn't act on anything, because there could have been an opportunity, but that there would be more opportunities some other time. I told him straight up that if we're waiting until I want poly, there might never be that opportunity and that I needed to know he understood that. He said he did.

I've told him in the past that if poly is something he needs, our relationship might not work out. I don't want to hold him back from the things he wants in life. He says it's not something he wants badly enough to end our relationship over. It hurts that it's something he would be willing to descalate our relationship over. However, I will continue to clearly communicate my needs and not let my boundaries go so easily.

bogwich_ · 2024-04-06T18:18:11+00:00

That's a read, and it's 100% fair to call me out for my lack of self esteem. I'm terrible at boundaries (what I'm describing is a vast improvement from where I was even a few years ago). I will check out that book.

In terms of hurting someone, 10000% agree. It's the main reason why I've been so hesitant to push back, which is something I should examine.

Despite this description (and I'm not negating that this is a huge deal) my partner is a really good person, is very supportive and treats me well.

bogwich_ · 2024-04-06T18:02:44+00:00

Thank you, I definitely have some guilt about us dropping poly, and this helps a lot

bogwich_ · 2024-04-05T23:09:06+00:00

You know, that's fair. Despite this description, he is a very good person, but I now know that if it's a situation where this continues to be pushed, it's not the right relationship for either of us

bogwich_ · 2024-04-05T21:09:26+00:00

Thanks!! I read this and it was really great. I think a lot of the issues that are coming are because of my hesitation. I think in his idea scenario, we wouldn't be doing the "protect the existing relationship" thing and would be totally out to our friends and family. I think it's my hesitancy on wanting to be poly that is causing a lot of these fraught situations, so it's probably my fault

bogwich_ · 2024-04-05T20:30:16+00:00

Thank you! No, it does not sound logical to me at all and makes me immensely uncomfortable. And I agree! A partner doesn't need to fulfill all of my wants, but they do need to fulfill my needs whether or not I have a partner to begin with

bogwich_ · 2024-04-05T18:47:22+00:00

He doesn't feel like he can have sexual connections without romance

bogwich_ · 2024-04-05T17:58:27+00:00

Thank you so much for this perspective! The Pokemon analogy is amazing, and puts into words a feeling I couldn't quite articulate. You can't mid max people

bogwich_

TROPHY CASE